Author: ThroughtheLookingGlassFarm

Theophanes Avery is a writer, artist, wanderer, and lover of life.

Tuba City – Arizona

So I woke up in the morning in the only travel station in Tuba City, which was swamped with unseemly people since I drove in the night before, mostly rebellious and randy teenagers, probably sick of their podunk little town. The night before a wild mustang wandered into the city and walked right by the Jeep without a care in the world. Stray dogs were everywhere.

I had quite a few hours to kill so I decided to drive and see the petroglyphs that my Navajo dinosaur guide recommended the day before. I ended up driving a looong way down a road that looked like it was used mainly by horse travel. The Jeep bounced and groaned and I wove my way deeper into a little village I probably shouldn’t have been in. I passed two people and asked for directions but they spoke little English and didn’t seem to know the word petroglyph or why two lost white people would be wandering around which to be fair, is a good question.

Finally I came to the fence with the little opening I had been told was there, watched by two video cameras I’d also been warned about. I walked in, and low and behold there was indeed a rock sitting at the front absolutely covered with intricate little designs. I was taken a bit aback, not expecting that much. And then something odd happened… out of nowhere a man appeared from behind a rock and asked, “Do you have a permit to be here?”
“Permit? No?”
“Well you need a permit to be here…”
“I was told by a Navajo up at the Dinosaur Tracks place we could just see the petroglyphs…”
“Well he was wrong!”
“But… why would he say that?”
“Because he was probably intoxicated!”
“…So who are you?”
“I’m a Hopi. We take care of the land here. The Navajos weren’t protecting it so we took over.”
“…Soooo how do you get a permit?”
“Well, you can pay $150 for two to see the petroglyphs. The fee would be for me as a guide.”
“…Well I don’t have that sooo… guess I’ll be going…”

There was another hiker behind me who came out when I did. He muttered to me, “I guess that was that!” I replied, “mmmhmmm.”

I was confused for awhile about the whole incidence. I wondered why two tribes would be fighting over a set of petroglyphs from a completely different (and extinct) tribe. Later I learned that the Hopi claim to be the desendants of the Anasazi, who I had always thought were wiped out centuries ago by migrating Aztecs. This was a bitter and bloody time period, from before the time of written records. I guess that’s why it’s all still a bit hazy… In any event the Hopi currently hate the Navajo as they are favored by the US government, who have granted then Navijo Nation, a large swath of land they can do whatever they want on. (“Here, have a token piece of land while us white people take the rest. THANKS!”) The Hopi have only recently received any land, and coincidentally it was a little block right in the middle of Navajo territory, surrounded on all sides. I might be a bit cranky too. I’m not sure why the Navajo have gotten away with so much out of our stingy “oops-didn’t-mean-to-do-that” government, but I think it probably has something to do with how they helped greatly in World War II, giving us code talkers (based on the Navajos unwritten language) who the Nazis were never able to decipher.

I left. And continued on to a market to have breakfast, or lunch, o whatever it is I normally eat. Entering the store a smiling middle-aged Navaho man stopped someone ahead of me and asked, “Where you escaping to?!” He was thoroughly confused. “Your shirt looks like a prison outfit.” I couldn’t help but interject. “Ohhhhhhhhh… I don’t know…” I did my shopping and ended up in the cashier line with the same man who smiled cheerfully and said, “You have a good day sir!”

Then when I was out in the parking lot  an old man approached and tapped weakly at the window. He wheezed, “Where you headed to?” He needed a ride to Seattle. I weren’t going in that direction anyway. I gave him $3 for a Gatorade so he’d at least be comfortable waiting for another ride. I was on the phone with my mother when another knock at the window came from my side. It was from another Navajo man, grinning like a Cheshire Cat he greeted me with the strangest statement ever, “I LOVE white people! Just wanted you to know that.” I nearly started to laugh wondering where the hell this was going. “I’ve done prayers for the health of some white people before. I gave them arrowheads for their prayers. I wish I could give you two an arrow head I’ve made…” “Awe?” I couldn’t resist saying awe even though I got the vibrant feeling this guy was a flimflam man, possibly the best. He continued his story. “Anyways, I live down on a farm down that way. We grow corn and beans and a bunch of other things but 25% of our crop just got washed away.” (Indeed there were forest fires and flooding washing a great deal away in this vague area.) He went on with his story adding all sorts of useless details, eventually ending with, “And I need to bring my daughter to the hospital. She’s five, has chicken pox, and we don’t have the money for gas…” I gave him three dollars as well and he left, saying, “God bless you! God bless!” I pondered which god that was… and felt $3 was worth the long, rambling, crazy story. I’ve given a few bucks to beggars who have done much less. At least this time I was thoroughly entertained. Surely that must be worth something.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

 

 

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Staying with Friends in Miami

I ended up in Miami to meet a new friend, Keren. I was told she had an autistic four year old son and just to expect that. I didn’t mind, of course, I’ve dealt with plenty enough children and special needs people to know how to behave around them comfortably.

Miami was… exactly how I thought it’d be… It was big, city-like, sunny, boiling hot, and there was loud Cuban music playing everywhere. I don’t mean there was loud music playing out of clubs and whatnot… I mean you could hear people’s cars a mile or more down the block and private residences? She had the misfortune to have a neighbor who cranked his music so loud that we could not hear each other talk. We were literally yelling at each other at the top of our voices, “HI! SORRY ABOUT THE NEIGHBORS! THEY’RE A BIT OBNOXIOUS!”

Keren was a funny woman, vibrantly opinionated, full of piss and vinegar. Her son was sweet and took a liking to me. He chatted up a storm and I played games with him and exchanged corny little knock knock jokes. We ate pizza and stayed up into the wee morning hours talking to her father, a rabbi, telling us about the state of Israel, which was oddly enlightening to a gentile such as myself.

I think Keren was just as amused by me as I was of her. She kept calling me adorable and polite because I waited to be invited to sit at her dinner table. She says Miami is full of brash mannerless people and I was just… different. I slept over at her house and took the most amazing hot shower there before I left. I’m a bit embarrassed to say it was the first shower I had taken since I left and I was getting tired of the baby wipe sponge baths and my hair being so greasy I could hear my brush squicking through it. In the morning she fed me grits. I’d yet to get around to trying any southern foods so this was actually something I was up for. They were awesome! Buttery and delicious and I just don’t know why I haven’t had them before… I’m so getting some when I go home. I left a half a bag of S’more marshmallows, apparently something they don’t sell down there. “Why are these marshmallows so huge?!” Funny how much discussion those marshmallows have been giving me lately.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Coral Castle – Miami Florida

The Coral Castle is one of those quasi-obscure tourist attractions that didn’t start out as one. I had heard about it on a documentary when I was child and always wanted to check it out. Basically it’s a castle created by a five foot tall one hundred pound man. That’s not that interesting. The interesting part of this story is the fact he built the castle in the 1920’s with no modern technology or equipment and since he worked on it in the dead of night he also had no witnesses. Some of the stones used to create the outer walls are as much as 30,000 pounds and no one has any idea how he managed this feat on his own. Some people blame aliens. Because that’s clearly what I’d do if I were visiting earth for the first time – I’d appear to one random old man and tell him to build me a castle in the dead of night!

The castle itself is beautiful. He managed to carve moons, stars, and other planetary shapes all around the place, not an easy thing to do in the particular stone he was using which is actually coral. There are three moving stones on the premises, a rocking chair and huge door and a triangular gate that weighs 6,000 pounds and can be pushed by any visitor who wants to try it. I of course decided to try it and believe or not it didn’t take much effort at all, the whole thing just slid as easy as could be (and I am not that strong!)

Of course when you look around you realize this was made as this man’s home. He had a tool shed and a bedroom in a structure that looks very normal and house like (other than the materials it’s made out of ) and then he made all sorts of open air rooms out and about. There were living spaces, a table shaped like a heart, writing desks, a repentance closet with another chair, a bunch of little pools, a bathtub, a drinking well, a kitchen, and a bedroom, complete with adult and child sized beds, including a crib, which freaked me the hell right out, especially knowing he didn’t have any real children – just the ones he imagined up. Apparently there were five of those…

Of course the most interesting part of this whole thing was the fact the man who created it was completely fucking crackers. He had a crush on some heiress, who probably didn’t know of his existence, and he believed she was sending him messages through a newspaper comic. He also was a recluse, pretty much only dealing with people when they came to his little castle and paid ten cents to look around. He must have done this little tour a lot though because by the time he died he managed to amass several thousand dollars. It gave me a lot to go over in my mind. I have yet to figure out why a creative and super intelligent mind is so often disturbed.

The place was small but amazing if you’re one to ponder. The little automated tours were long-winded and boring but the rest was cool. It was also covered in lizards, both native and not and it took every ounce of my willpower not to try and catch one. When I was a kid I spent so many hours learning to catch everything I could… chickens, turtles, frogs, wild birds, you name it. A lizard would have been fun… but I captured them in photos instead. They were adorable and fast.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


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Savannah Squares – Georgia

Savannah Georgia was another one of those ill-planned out things. Unlike most of the destinations on the list I knew absolutely nothing of Savannah other than the fact it had squares. I had no idea what this meant but I was up for enjoying some geometric wonders.

What can I say? I headed for the original square first, or at least I headed for the one my smart phone claimed was the original. Upon nearing the city I could see this place was a lot different than all the other cities I’d been to. It was green, really green, and no buildings seemed to be taller than six or so stories, except for a few church steeples. I waltzed into town, taking no time at all to find the squares. There were big arching trees going over the streets and in the square. People were playing chess out in the humid air, and there were so many dogs getting brought out for walks! The traffic was slim to nil, at 5:30PM, and everyone seemed relaxed going about their business. There were horse carriages everywhere with people on the front giving historical tours.

I got to reaffirm my inability to answer trivia questions about this city. Why was it flat, why were there squares everywhere? Why did it seem so wealthy? And most importantly, where are all the ghosts? I have no idea – this was something I’d neglected to memorize from all the crime and paranormal documentaries I grew up with. Shame, I didn’t see a single one. Perhaps next time I shall take a ghost tour and hope for the best.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

 

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Isabel the “Sea Serpent” – Virginia

It was still only two o’clock or so when I made the decision to continue driving. There was a rumor that a driftwood sea serpent was lurking around here so I had to find it. I found the serpent, took the usual tourist photos standing in front of it and then enjoyed the beach a bit. The ocean was angry and the waves were crashing down the shore hard. There was even one hapless guy, who against all regulations on the many signs, swam out into the waves and started surfing. He made two waves before I lost interest and left. I found a few shells here and there but nothing overly interesting. The only thing here I did not find on Cape Cod or Maine were dozens and dozens of mermaid purses. These are the hard spiked eggs of skates, small rays that live off the coast. It also pains me a bit to see those because they obviously were spat into the world with much pain and distress…. Seems a waste to have so many wash up to shore!

There was a huge fiddler crab here which needed only a little coaxing to scamper down the beach. I nudged its legs with my foot and it went scuttling over the sand like no one’s business. Fast little sucker! And when he stopped he puffed up like a rooster and made threatening gestures with his claws. I took lots of photos and one video, eventually protecting him from three loose dogs before moving onward.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Atlantic City – Putting Class into Perspective

Atlantic city isn’t my scene, never was, and never will be but it was suggested soooo many times I felt negligent in not stopping by. It wasn’t as if I had the money to gamble and if I did I’d rather spend it on some other food source than the PB&J’s that were becoming the bane of my existence than a few shiny casino chips. I mean don’t get me wrong – if someone else wants to gamble go ahead, I couldn’t care less. I just think if I were to waste money I’d at least light it on fire or do something cool with it.

I drove in and saw the most garish, sparkly, gaudy buildings I have ever seen in my life. In letters probably bigger than the damn Hollywood sign read TRUMP everywhere. Holy crap… There’s having an over-inflated ego and then there’s that…. This must be the human equivalent of a Tom cat’s pissing contest. To make the whole thing all the better there were ghetto houses and derelicts smattered in between these glittery shiny casinos. There seemed to be no middle class at all…. Just the obscenely rich and the desperately poor. There were condemned homes, buildings that were more or less just ruins, fences everywhere… It was depressing thinking anyone even lived in this squalid manner in a ghetto that was so disparaging it looked like it was from a third world country. There is just no reason for it, but to make it even worse were the casinos right next to it all… a real smack to the face. We left feeling very melancholy. And since taking this trip we have learned Atlantic City wants to build a pedestrian bridge between the casinos so that their patrons will not have to look at the eye sore that is the poverty stricken ghetto outside. Such an American reaction, rather than redistribute the wealth in a socially beneficial way we’d rather just hide the poor people from sight and pretend there’s not a problem to begin with.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Angel Oak – South Carolina

Angel Oak is apparently a giant tree, the oldest in the state or some such. I went there expecting another kitschy little tourist attractions but I was quite happily surprised. It was hidden on a dirt road, guarded on each side by arching trees. I swear it could have been a scene out of a fairy tale had I been driving a horse and buggy. The tree itself was enormous indeed, fat and stout, with branches hitting the ground from its own weight. Some were propped up, other branches were held in place by cable. Still, despite the fact it couldn’t deal with its own enormity, the tree itself was beautiful and nestled in a really sweet patch of woods to boot. It surprisingly had a lot of people wandering in and out and a small gift shop as well. I took a few photos, perused the gift store, and asked an elderly couple to take my photo in front of the tree. I am afraid my pallid skin and Yankee accent was a dead give always that I was not from the area. The locals are chatty and friendly.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

 

 

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Pointsette State Park – South Carolina

Initially I only meant to stop here as a camping site to sleep but this place is absolutely gorgeous! Even the welcome center looks like some sort of rich fancy lodge or something. Right from the start I saw a tiny weird little lizard and walking around I found two five foot long alligators basking out on a little rafty thing. There was only one other camper here and the rest were RVs. This place looks like an enchanted forest! I took all sorts of photos of the weeping trees, the alligators, lizards, deer, and weird bugs I saw, and I even took a night walk. Unlike the Pine Barons of New Jersey this place got DARK. Pitch black. A deer stalked our tent at night. And I must say the bathrooms here… absolutely spotless, though the showers were cold than ice water. The only complaint would be that there are frogs EVERYWHERE. I thought I was witnessing a mass mudslide when I walked up to the embankment of the lake. Only on closer inspection did I find out this wave wasn’t made of mud it was made from thousands upon thousands of frogs all leaping desperately away form me into the water, about three feet from there!

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

 

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Washington DC – A Total Bust!

Off to DC! I couldn’t wait! I wanted to return to the Museum of Natural History, as I only began to sink my teeth into it as a twelve year old and now still thought about going back to see the fossils with glassy eyes. Admission to any of the Smithsonian museums is free, including the Museum of Natural History, however they have no parking. Parking can be found in nearby garages… however these garages are not tall enough to accommodate a Jeep with a storage container on its roof… I tried two garages and was sent immediately out. I drove by others and read their clearance heights which only got lower and lower, to the point I fund one as small as six feet. I attempted to look for parking but everywhere I looked was only for two hours at the risk of being towed and if I had to walk half an hour to the car and half an hour back that left me with one measly hour to run through an enormous museum I could probably spend a solid week in. Frustrated I eventually left, but not before passing the usual monuments and snapping photos. I stopped when my camera battery died…. Its been doing that a lot lately and never used to. Seems Murphy might be following me again. SIGH.

I decided that someday I might return to DC without a filled roof rack and just spend a week or so looking at all the Smithsonian museums… and perhaps the new American Justice museum I spied from the street. It looked neat. Isn’t there also a spy museum somewhere? Shame DC… I was a day ahead of schedule passing you. You could have held my attention so much longer if you only had a place to park!

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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The Baltimore Aquarium – Maryland

I was told that the Baltimore Aquarium was a pretty good aquarium and although I’ve seen a lot of salt water fish at salt water stores and other aquariums I decided to go and check it out.  The place was pretty infested with children of all ages – none listening to a damn thing their chaperones were saying. I expected this and am somewhat used to it, although I’m not much fonder of the little squirts.

The first thing I came across was an enormous tank which I could stand over at many points. It was devoid of plant and coral but absolutely filled with all sorts of rays, a three-legged sea turtle, a zebra shark, a guitar fish, and some other interesting things. I tried to take photos with my camera but it told me, “In this lighting?! Are you kidding me?!”

As I wandered away from the tank I walked into a hallway filled with fresh water fish, brackish fish, salt water fish, and ocean fish. These things looked familiar and unimpressive and I figured the rest of the aquarium would be the same. I was happily surprised to find tanks filled with almost all the familiar salt water hobbyist favorites (except a Moorish idol!) as well as weird things. We came across a number of fish that weren’t immediately identifiable. As usual the big boney fish freaked me right out and at first I didn’t want to go anywhere near them! But I forced myself… as I often do with things I’m afraid of. Some of the little tanks had real corals, unlike the plastic corals you saw in some of the larger tanks.

I got to see my first nautiluses! But they were in a tank with no flash photography and we just couldn’t get them… we also saw a fairly big octopus, a tank full of lion fish, some shrimp, and then we started getting into the different kinds of habitats. We walked into a rain forest exhibit and took all sorts of photos of the adorable poison dart frogs and a snake or two. They also had a rainforest room filled with plants you could walk through. I must admit it kinda smelled in there… but there was a pair of shy juvenile monkeys, a pair of Amazon parrots, some cute turtles, and a tarantula. Eventually I found my way to the giant winding shark tank. There were all sorts of sharks including two huge saw fish I couldn’t get a photo of because they were too close to the glass. Most were active and swimming around and like the rest of the aquarium they were being fed. I think I came at just the right time for this. I think my heart pitter-pattered when I spotted the baby hammerhead! It was just the cutest little fishy! Hammerhead sharks tan when they are in the sun which turns them from gray to black. This little guy was in the dark with no light at all and was just as pallid as I was – faux albino buddies! Forever!

I then wandered into the dolphin area. They were working with their trainers but there was no show due to the recent birth of a wee one (we didn’t see him or her.)

In the end I got to see a bunch of jelly fish tanks. They were eerily beautiful. I have been always a bit skittish of jellyfish… they also creep me out… but I was transfixed to these guys. Some of them looked like moving mushrooms. Others they put the light at the bottom of their tank so they’d swim against the floor and show their little tenticled backsides.

Did I forget to mention I saw some of the biggest, fattest, most bloated colorful starfish I have ever seen? They were absolutely grotesque!
I left having seen not only the best aquarium I have ever been to but also seeing the last surviving rescue ship to serve at Pearl Harbor. It was parked out front.

***I apologize for any missing photos and galleries as I continue to work getting Catching Marbles fully migrated to a new host. Please come back soon for restored photos and thank you for your patience!***

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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