Parker Maple Barn – Mason New Hampshire

Parker Maple Barn was one of those places I really should have known about but for some reason I just didn’t. This may be because it resides in Mason New Hampshire which is the town I think feels the most like driving back into time a hundred or so years. Boy was I shocked to find this busy hive of a tourist attraction/beloved local gem.

Honestly, we were just looking for a good place to eat breakfast when the suggestion came up and when I drove there I was expecting some quaint little place in the woods with not much going on. It was in the woods, quite far into the woods down a long dirt road as is tradition in Mason, but it was hopping. There were so many cars there that although they had a relatively enormous parking lot there wasn’t any spaces available. I had to park in a secondary overflow parking lot across the street which was also almost at capacity. People were EVERYWHERE.

What is this place?! Is the food really that good?! What are all these people here for?? We went inside and requested a table. We were told it’d take an hour and a half. Normally this is when I would have just wandered off and tried again some sleepy Tuesday morning buuuut curiosity got the better of me and my companion was up in my neck of the woods for only the day so… we went outside to wait after the concierge told us we could while away the time in their giftshop or we could even get some apple cider doughnuts and cider at the little doughnut shack outside.

So first we hit the gift shop. Maybe it was because it was a weekend but this place was just full of people even though the gift shop was relatively huge having two whole floors of cutesy country trappings. There was the expected local maple syrup, I’m guessing from the sugar shack on the property, there were spice packets, local jams, and flavored coffees mixed in with the usual folksy bric-a-bracs and Old Timey toys and candies. Though it also had a whole section devoted to Bigfoot, a little corner of local books, and of course mushrooms galore. In fact my toadstool covered bellbottoms got quite an excited reaction, “You’ll love our mushroom section!” I did. I really did. There was even adorable mushroom knit hats. How cute is that?? I bought myself a good pair of knitted gloves. I’m going to need them when the cold hits.

Despite the gift store being of generous size an hour and a half is a long time to linger in one so we went back outside. There was all kinds of touristy things out there. A sign in the parking lot sectioning off a pretty significant space for motorcycles, benches everywhere to sit and wait, a pole with “welcome” signs in every conceivable language nailed to it, and even a tiny adorable covered bridge. I was loving the atmosphere but I was getting a little annoyed waiting and ended up buying a hot apple cider to sip on as I wasted more time. I would have indulged in a doughnut too but I didn’t want to spoil my apatite.

I still have no idea if this is a normal amount of people or if it was because we showed up in peak cider season or maybe this is a weekend crowd? Hard to say. But the cider was good and the trees were flaunting their fall foliage. We waited past the time we were told we would have to and by now the place was emptying out. When we finally were called in we entered to one of the most charismatic restaurants I have ever been to. It was like walking into an old barn. Some of the tables were even old goat milking tables. We were given a menu after this and then…. forgotten again.

I was very happy to see buckwheat pancakes as an option. They’re traditional in some European countries but I’d never seen them served in the states, probably mostly due to the fact they’re usually an unsettling grey color. I wanted to try them here but my attention was distracted by a croque monsieur, er “Monte Cristo.” It sounded insane because it was made not with regular bread but instead French toast, and served with real maple syrup as dipping sauce. In fact real maple syrup was such a point of pride here it was in or on just about everything. Even the coffee! My companion ordered a really stuffed omelet of some sort.

We waited for quite a while before our waiter realized his mistake and apologized profusely for just leaving us there with the menu for I don’t know how long. He seemed desperate for reassurance that I wasn’t going to raise hell, trying to make jokes, recommendations, and eye contact. Thing is, I wasn’t avoiding eye contact because I was mad or annoyed, I was just TIRED and hungry and my autistic ass was like, “No more eye contact until you fucking eat.” Dude was a lot less nervous about my companion so that was good at least. He also told us this place used to close down during the winter but this year was the first time it was going to go year round with just a break for the holidays. Hooray! We can try those pancakes when this place is less bustling!

It was another wait for the food. It was the end of the day for this place and I am sure everyone was dead on their feet after dealing with such a crowd. Again, I waited patiently, only once muttering, “God, it feels like we’ve been here for hours.” This, I am told, was a sure sign I was hangry. I don’t know though… this seems like a very mild hangry. I didn’t say anything mean or that I’d regret. It was just a flat statement of how I was feeling in that moment. And it wasn’t said to staff or anyone whose feelings I could hurt in saying as much.

I was excited to try my weird new sandwich option, but to be fair this was 100% me being exploratory. I wasn’t expecting it to be amazing but WOW, it really was! It was sweet and savory at the same time, absolutely loaded, and the maple syrup dipping sauce was kind of the best thing ever. My companion was just as happy with his omelet which I had him lift up so I could take a photo of it’s delectable cheese dripping insides. It was A LOT and the price was cheap, cheaper than anywhere else in the area. Not sure why, maybe to offset the wait?

In any event I definitely think this place was worth checking out if you happen to be around Mason. I do recommend going on a day it’s less slammed though!

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Cru Cafe – Newport Rhode Island

You know the one thing about diners that is always annoying? Their insistence at closing at 2PM. But if it weren’t for that we probably wouldn’t have checked this place out which was open until 3! It’s strange neither of us had heard about this place, it seemed rather enormous considering the little populated corner it lives in and it’s impossibly tiny parking lot. There was a lot of outdoor seating and two large rooms for indoor seating, one of which had this adorable little lemon tree at the door.

It seemed a popular place with all sorts of delectable little baked goodies at the counter including both the usual cookies as well as the somewhat more unusual scones. It served both breakfast and lunch all day. Being as breakfast is undeniably the best meal of the day I went and got myself a veggie breakfast burrito which came stuffed to the brim with crushed tomatoes, spinach, asparagus, egg, and cheese. It was DELICIOUS and also goddamn enormous. Ended up being two meals for me. The ice tea I ordered with it was also strong as hell. My companion also got a breakfast burrito of a different variety and his was even bigger! I didn’t take a photo because his wasn’t cut in half and just looked like a regular burrito.

In any event I think we found a new repeat spot. I might even swing by someday when I’m having a cookie craving as they had peanut butter cookies as an option. It seemed a nice little spot to share such a thing with a friend or even have a coffee date if you’re so inclined.

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Witch’s Dungeon Classic Movie Museum – Plainville Connecticut

We have been meaning to check out this museum for a long time but we just never ended up having the time off when it was actually open. But when we did figure this out we were on our way, excited to see what it was all about as both of us really adore the old movies, especially the horrors.

Bonus it was right next to the Flea Market at the Crossing so we had two things to poke at! And this place was adorable. It was small but packed with lots of life size wax figures of classic monsters, as well as cases of prosthetics and props. The whole tour was led by the guy who started the place many decades ago. It was cozy and sweet, and I even learned a few things – like the woman that voiced Talky Tina in the Twilight Zone was also Rocky the Squirrel!

My favorite bits were the prosthetic face pieces used in Planet of the Apes, the armature of King Kong used for still animation, the surprise visit of R2D2, and the adorable good bye message recorded for the end of the tour by Vincent Price. I also found myself transfixed on a wax figure of Beauty and the Beast. It was like nothing I’d seen before… turns out it was from the French film La Belle et La Bete. (Later I’d find a copy and watch it and oh my god, how did I miss this masterpiece before!? GORGEOUS! Also the most creative retelling of Beauty and the Beast I have ever seen.)

I bought a post card at the gift shop and we contemplated coming back around Thanksgiving for their special witch event. Should be fun!

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Museum of Things Tiny and Found – Brattleboro Vermont

It’s been a long while since I took the time to kick around Vermont for a bit and I think I needed it. I brought my companion along and we decided to find the most relentlessly whimsical attraction we could find. That turned out to be the Museum of Things Tiny and Found which hasn’t been running long but WOW, they delivered! I thought they might be a booth museum, you know just one little exhibit in the corner of a sandwich shop but no, they had their own devoted space!

We parked and followed the street signs before walking down a little alley that had footprints painted on the sidewalk that went from normal human size to increasingly tiny. They led to the entrance of this diabolically adorable establishment. We didn’t know what to expect but there were fairy houses, doll houses (both haunted and regular,) many tiny shelves of random tiny things, a whole wall of postage stamp sized self portraits left by visiting children, dioramas of famous paintings including Van Gogh’s bedroom, and even a wee gift shop full of the impossibly miniscule art of local artists. This included hand crocheted doilies that weren’t much bigger than my fingernail. JUST HOW?

But our favorite bits of this museum were the haunted dollhouse filled with murderous siblings (and a whole story to read about them) as well as the bathrooms. Both were decorated. With miniatures. Including a miniature paper towel dispenser on the regular one and an itty bitty robot on an itty bitty toilet. The staff were also hilarious. They were the ones who insisted we go check out their non-gendered bathrooms and they were delighted when we told them we found this place by typing in “whimsical places to visit in Vermont” in the search engines. This was peak Vermont. Just so cute. I am going to have to bring others now.

The entrance fee was just whatever you feel like putting in the donation honor box at the front and there was even an option at the end to put your own tiny thing in a basket to be considered as a donation. People left tiny toys, little works of art, random baubles. It made me smile and I will have to find something to leave the next time I am there.

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Niantic Bay Boardwalk – Niantic Connecticut

After visiting the Book Barn and eating until we wanted to explode at The Shack the we thought a little post-dinner walk might be good to get the blood pumping again before driving home. It was getting late and very quickly got dark – such is life in New England during the colder months of the year. So my photos probably are not that impressive but it was a sweet little amble.

There was a long concrete walkway, with signs in the shape of shells every 200 or so feet. They counted up to 6000. The entrance of this boardwalk had a small sandy beach, a jetty, and lots of benches spread throughout the journey. As it was getting super dark, very fast, and I was once again overheating we did not make it to the end, or even the center. I think we got to the 2400 shell before turning back. If I had a proper camera I would have taken some great moon over the water photos but since I have only been using my cell phone for quite some time now the images were far less impressive. I am sure in the light this place was even better. It functioned perfectly for our after diner walk.

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The Shack Diner – East Lyme Connecticut

After spending a long afternoon at all three Book Barn locations we had worked up quite an apatite and were looking for some good grub before heading home. We settled on a place called simply The Shack, although I must say that it didn’t look like a shack in any way shape or form unless you counted the antique farming tools that were decorating the walls.

This place sure smelled like home cooking! There was a bell near the door, “Only survivors can ring.” Survivors? Was this one of those food challenge things? Nope. It’s October, breast health awareness month, which also explained why all the staff were wearing pink. This was for cancer survivors. At the tables there was a small fundraiser for the cause. $1 for a coloring sheet and so on.

I was so tired and pondering if I should behave myself or not. I ended up getting the Mac and Cheese with a little bowl of clam chowder as my side. Clam chowder is new to my repertoire and I have been surprised just how different they can be. This one was particularly unique, I had a hard time pinning down exactly why, but it was delicious nonetheless. And the Mac and Cheese was an enormous portion! My companion ordered the taco salad and was very happy with it. I taxed a bite and also approved.

This place was cute. Friendly staff, nice selection on the menu, clean, and did I mention it smelled like heaven? Because it did.

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Book Barn (All Three Locations!) Niantic Connecticut

We discovered the book barn while we were on our way home from a different adventure but on that particular evening we only had about twenty minutes before it closed and it was not the kind of place that twenty minutes would be even remotely sufficient! So the next week we returned, with books in hand, hoping to trade them for store credits. My companion who brought a bunch of graphic novels did well in this venture getting over $50. I… did not. I figured they probably wanted known books so most of my choices were well known hard covers in good condition. Most were quietly slipped back to me. I got $7 or $8 in store credit for my efforts but I was happy because they took Honoring Echo, the book I wrote and signed, without a second glance. It was then I learned this place is looking for unique books.

The entire property is clearly what used to be a farm where a three story barn and several out buildings, all of which have been turned into little mini bookstores in their own right. And the pathways between each of these buildings? Also filled with outdoor shelving full of books. In the middle of this village there’s also two jungle gyms and some goats to keep the kids occupied as their parents enjoy the books. There’s even a little place to sit that’s in the shape of a TARDIS. I thought I took photos the first time I came here but forgot that I didn’t have my phone that day so I apologize that this entry is so light on photos, especially for a place that really deserved more!

This place was WILD. It had so many niche resource books. A whole corner devoted to books written on fishing. And here I though fishing was just a way to escape society and personal responsibilities for a few hours while doing basically nothing on a lake. There was also a huge section on hunting, another on gardening, and even a section for permaculture! But the largest sections were probably the ones on history and location. I was surprised to see such a robust collection of books on indigenous cultures and of course black culture as well. I tried to find some books in French but only was able to find one. Books in foreign languages didn’t have their own category which is astounding considering some of the other category titles such as, “Radicals, Anarchists, and Other Trouble Makers,” “Wealth and Glamour, or the Life-Styles of the PAINFULLY Wealthy,” and “Memoirs and Self-Help” (Why is that a combined category?!) I noticed the copy of The Art of Making the Deal I had noticed in the previous trip was gone and seeing as it wasn’t far from a huge section on Tarot I had to hope some witch bought it to use in a hexing. (Come on ladies and crones, we need all of you in on this!)

By the time we left we had found the rare first edition books behind glass and had used all our credits plus some but we weren’t done. You see the missing categories weren’t actually missing, they were in two other locations, one just down the road, and one in town. So we obviously had to check those out too.

The one down the road called “Chapter 23” had it’s own book mobile filled with conspiracy theories and alternative belief systems. One nook was categorized as “Oversized UFO books.” Because they had so many UFO books they had to start sorting them by size! It wasn’t all Ancient Aliens, although that was a good chunk, some of this was new age stuff, others were books on reincarnation or manifestation. Inside the actual book store building we found a huge cache of DVDs and I was even able to find one in French! They had a whole section on foreign films. It was interesting that the majority of them were Bollywood movies. Beyond this was a huge room of religious books of all persuasions, guarded by a very friendly calico cat.

Upstairs I found the gender studies and LGBTQ+ books as well as puzzle games and local interest as well as two more adorable shop cats on a very dramatic looking sofa.

After poking through all this and petting each and every cat a few times we moved onto the bookshop in town which is where all graphic novels, foreign language children’s books, and popular pulp paperbacks lived. SO MUCH TOM CLANCY. And classics. But really Tom Clancy. Just oodles of it. I had to bypass that to find a French copy of the Little Prince which I’d always hoped I’d find somewhere one of these days. I am trying to learn French and I also love the Little Prince.

Being in town this shop was lacking any cats. But it was still nice. I think depending what you’re looking for each of these locations had something different to offer. It was definitely a lot of fun and I do believe we will go back… likely with more books to trade for credits!

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Wally’s Wieners – Newport Rhode Island

Recently my companion was watching someone on YouTube touring around the area and trying various gimmicks and challenges at local eateries. One of the things that came up was the hot dog tower at Wally’s Wieners which was five hotdogs of your choosing, french fries of your choosing, and five dipping sauces of the house’s choosing. Five hot dogs also happens to be what we’d normally eat together anyway so why not give it a go?

I was lucky to find parking, the street it’s on is always full of pedestrians and available parking spots are all parallel and a rarity. And the restaurant itself was packed on this particular Friday night. We were able to squeeze into a tiny window seat.

And I must say I was impressed by how many different hot dogs we had to chose from. I got the BBQ and the Truffle Shuffle hotdog, my companion got the Chicago, the Marinara Pizza, and something else I can’t remember. We chose garlic fries and our dipping sauces ended up being more garlic parmesan, BBQ, Ranch, General Sao’s, and something else I can’t remember. I liked the General Sao’s! Gave me permission to use it on non-Chinese food which was fun and gave me some ideas about duck sauce which I adore. The rest of the sauces were kinda meh. But the fries were very garlicy and the hot dogs? My BBQ turned out to be too spicy for my personal tastes (but I admittedly have 0 tolerance for anything with even the vaguest sense of heat) but the Truffle Shuffle? MY GOD, it tasted more mushroomy than mushrooms! I fucking loved it. Very strong flavor. Couldn’t even tell there was a hot dog in there.

The hot dog tower was on a separate menu than the regular fair which we had to ask for. It costs $40 on this night which is pretty cheap for something that’s either a personal challenge or meant to be shared. Seemed a good option to me. All and all it was a cute little place, the hot dogs definitely tasted distinct, and if you are so inclined they had oodles of T-shirts you could buy to show off you’d eaten there which is always fun for the tourists.

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Madame Sherri’s Bar – Keene New Hampshire

So after watching the Fraggles LIVE at the Colonial Theater we were pretty hungry. My partner thought being a college town Keene would have some restaurants open late. Cute, I know. The only places that were open were bars. Madame Sherri’s is just down the street and as we wandered closer to the door, of which I have passed dozens of times but never looked at, I noticed the rainbow flag and it hit me. Oooooooh, Madame Sherri’s! This must be the gay and lesbian bar! I mean the rainbow flag was probably enough of a hint but for those that don’t know Madame Sherri was a local celebrity back in the day. She built a mansion in the woods and was known for inviting theater folk up here into the boonies. What is left of her now burned down mansion, a partial staircase, is now on a public trail.

If we had to eat at a bar anyway might as well use our dollars supporting the cause. I guess this place also bills itself as a Cabaret. There was indeed a drag performance going on in the back room, which seemed to be a theater when needed and a dance floor the rest of the time. Inside everything was pretty dark but Halloween decorations abounded and several TVs aired music videos for the gays and Republican porn for the lesbians. Excuse me, I mean it was playing several scenes of a woman being bred on a Handmaid’s tale, which is honestly the same thing. Total mood killer. BUT ANYWAYS.

It was a quiet night, not too many people in and out. We were one of two tables hosting what appeared to be boring straight couples who were just hungry. Being a bar I was expecting good comfort food but nothing spectacular. I was wrong. HOLY SHIT was their Mac n’ Cheese the best damn thing I’ve had in a long while! It was so good we decided to split a “Creme Brulé Doughnut” for dessert, which another patron highly suggested. What the fuck is a creme brulé doughnut you ask? WELL… it’s a regular doughnut that someone’s set on fire until it’s even tastier. I don’t know the physics but it was artery clogging deliciousness and worth coming in here just for that!

Anyway, I am glad I checked this place out. It was kinda cute and maybe one of these days I will come in again to enjoy one of their drag shows.

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Fraggle Rock LIVE – Colonial Theater Keene

I haven’t been to a live show in a few years. Can’t really afford it but I threw all caution to the wind when I picked up the paper one day and saw a bunch of cute little Muppets staring up at me. I love Muppets, puppets, and all the other weird little critters I can find but my partner really loves those Muppets and unlike me he was raised on them so he was thrilled when I showed him the newspaper that Fraggle Rock was coming to town. Me, I had no idea what Fraggles were… but I like experiencing new things and you can’t really go wrong with a Jim Henson production.

Luckily I showed up way early so we could eat but it turns out I had the time an hour off so we really only had time to wander aimlessly through The ToadStool Bookshop before meandering over to the theater. I have been to plenty of music gigs and plays at the Colonial and every time it was packed to the brim so I expected the same for this event buuuut… nope, there were quite a few seats and surprisingly few children considering the subject matter. Though that’s not to say there weren’t any, they just were in the first five rows and not really many beyond there.

I kept myself entertained looking for the neurospicy among us. Fraggles had to be someone’s special interest and indeed. I found two people bedecked in Fraggle Rock shirts, clearly bought before this show. I smiled to myself.

The show was as expected very geared to small children but it was still enjoyable to adults like myself. The Fraggles were full-on people in costumes which was not what I was expecting. I guess I was expecting little hand puppets but nooo, these Fraggles were ENORMOUS and danced about the stage with high squeaky voices and more energy than I’ve had in a few decades. Even more fun for me was the prop guys (and gals) who made no effort whatsoever to blend in with the scenery (beyond wearing all black) and instead literally frolicked with the Fraggles like they were also characters. It was goddamn adorable.

The story was formulaic but it was so damn cute I didn’t really care and there were songs. So many songs. I don’t know why that surprised but it did. Occassionally there was audience participation and it was really cute watching the confused children try to yell what they were prompted. Several balls got loose at one point and no one seemed to want to bounce them back towards the stage for a good ten minutes. At one point the adults in the audience had a meltdown as everyone around me yelled, “THE TRASH PILE!” I didn’t know what was going on… but apparently the huge sentient trash pile on the stage meant something to those who grew up with Fraggle rock. And for them I was happy, even if it was confusing to me.

I loved this showing. It left me feeling stupidly happy which at this point I think I really needed the pick-me-up. And at the end they shot ribbons over the crowd with no warning and the bang nearly made me jump out of my own skin but I forgive them for the jolt. In short this was GREAT for people who love Fraggles, Muppets, need something to entertain the kids, or just have rampantly untreated ADHD.

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