Lizzie Borden Inn Ghost Hunt – Fall River Massachussetts

If you grew up in New England you deffinately skipped rope to the sound of gleefully morbid children singing, “Lizzie Borden had an ax, gave her mother 40 whacks, when she saw what she had done she gave her father 41.” Before counting to the sound of the rope slapping the ground. The Lizzie Borden story is forever written in infamy – a grusome crime that was never officially solved. Was Lizzie, who was found by a neighbor burning a bloody dress guilty of such of crime? Or was the maid who claimed to be asleep in the house, or Lizzie’s sister Emma, or the mystery guest or uncle who showed up to town just two days before? Character reports of the murder victims painted them increasingly cruel over the years so whose to say who had an ax to grind with them? The people at the time did put Lizzie on trial (while heavily sedated by doctors to calm her nerves) and they found her innocent because ax murdering is just not something a proper lady of the time was capable of! Lizzie moved on, bought a different house across town, became a patron of the arts, took on the occasional mistress, and died a spinster, forever shunned by the people about town. And the house.. it remained more or less the same until someone decided to make it into an inn. Of course times are tough so it’s had to get creative to pay the bills. In addition to being an inn it also converted the barn to a gift shop and now hosts regular ghost tours and hunts. It sounded like a fun place to poke around.

We arrived early in hopes of finding parking and lucked out. There is a very small and hard to find parking lot but it only is comfortably big enough for four cars or so.

The tour started at registration in the little gift shop which was filled with all sorts of brutal memorabilia, the usual magnets and postcards scattered among black cat plushies and bloody ax pillows, and a whole corner devoted to ghost hunting devices – everything you could ever want in that department from simple EMF meters, to REM pods, to spirit boxes and more. Under glass at the counter there was a fun display of pottery fragments and metal things from the era that had been dug up on the property. Tonight the group was large consisting of I believe 19 people and the tour guide of course. Most of these people seemed to be young goths and couples looking for an interesting date night. I would expect no less. There was also one other family there with a small child who seemed quiet and content. We had come ourselves at the request of a very excited teenager and here we were!

After checking in we were led to a small kitchen and we all gathered around to be told the cliff notes version of the tale but this time it included the neighbors, relatives of the Bordens, who also witnessed murder in their household when the mother dropped her three babes in the well before slitting her own throat with a razorblade. Two of the children drown in the well while a third scrabbled her way out and survived the ordeal. Was it another attempt at a whole family murder at the hands of the husband or was this really the murder/suicide of a woman stricken with post partum psychosis in the days before medical science even had an inkling of such a thing? I guess no living person will know but we were told the children often skip on over here to talk with guests. And finally we were told of Max the cat who died at 21 just a week after his owners sold this house and moved. His paw prints and ghostly visage still showing up from time to time.

From here we were all given EMF meters to use and allowed to choose from a whole host of other ghost hunting goodies – spirit boxes, yes or no lights, dowsing rods, a thermal scanner, REM pods galore, one of those devices that puts green dots all over the place, headphones, cat toys that lit up when touched. We were given a brief instruction on all of them before being split up into two groups, one which got to go into the creepy basement first and one which got to play around the first floor where Andrew Borden met his fate. The top two floors were of course reserved for inn guests . And then we were basically off to free range and do as we pleased, as long as that wasn’t playing with a ouijia board!

Of course by now we had one super excited teenager and one who found the experience a little too scary at first – not appreciating the ghosts answering during device demonstrations nor the bloody manniken corpse on the couch at the site of the murder. But we encouraged her to get involved and ask questions of the yes/no light which would light up green for yes, red for no, and with quite a bit of coaxing she really warmed up to the yes/no box, so much so that in a few minutes it was just herself and I asking it questions and it was going off steadily, although at times it’d light up both red and green which was a bit confusing. That being said the lights were oddly comforting in their responses and she was able to see the ghosts here appeared to be of the friendly variety. Meanwhile my companion and the other teenager were in the dining room playing with dowsing rods and having just as much success. Hilariously both the dowsing rods and yes/no box appeared to prefer just the two people they were talking to keeping us separated into pairs for the time being though I did pop my head for a moment to see the dining room whose table had actual crime scene photos that despite being in black and white were no less horrific. There was just no recognizable face left on either corpse. That… that’s some potent familial rage there.

Other guests were in the other rooms playing joyfully with their chosen devices and apparently doing as well with them as us. I was pleasantly surprised. I sort of expected this to be a pretty boring tour-kind of exercise where we might hear one or two words on the spirit box so we could all oo and awe and come home but the amount of activity going on here was wild. I would have been happy with just that but on hour two we were instructed to switch with the other team and so we entered the creepy basement where we were shown a face in the bricks above a wash basin, a thermal photo of Max the cat’s ghost, pawprints in the paint also ascribed to Max, the luminol-sprayed and glowing blood stains that dripped from the floor above, and a room that was once used for seances and ouijia board readings.

At this point our whole group started in the room with the wash basin but it’d only be a moment or two before all three of them left me behind to poke at something else. So I found myself in a room with the yes/no box, a REM pod, a cat ball, an EMF Guage, and a set of dowsing rods at which point the yes/no box started going mental and blinking both lights without request, the REM pod started its high pitch squealing, the cat ball lit up, my EMF reader spiked all the way up, and just for shits and giggles I took out the dowsing rods which no matter where I stood just continued to point at the REM pod. What am I supposed to do with that? With everything going off and nothing stopping I resigned myself to find something else to do (mostly because the screaming from the REM pod was burrowing into my autistic brain and was irritating me more than I can express.) I left to find the teens both alone playing with the headphones and radio in the seance room. I made my way in and sat down. One held the earphones close to her head and stated words that she could hear as the radio flipped between stations. The other asked questions for a time but it got a bit mean-spirited and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I thought at first one may just be trying to scare the other with repeated words like, “death,” “die,” and “cemetery” but by the time it said, “go into the street” the mood didn’t seem jokey. Nonetheless teen two got up and demanded they get a turn with the headphones while teen one spooked out of a seeming trance and claimed to remember nothing of what they’d said. I shifted but continued to observe to make sure nothing got too out of hand. Teen two put the headphones on and started in on the same spooky malarkey. Teen one did not appreciate this and I think may have been a little spooked as well when they got up and put a stop to the whole experiment. Teen two left to see what everyone else was up to as teen one picked up the flashlight which had two settings – UV and normal light. They wanted to see the bloodstains so they put on the UV and directed it at the ceiling at which point it switched on its own to regular light. Annoyed they asked if we could turn out the light so we asked the guide coming around if that’d be alright. He agreed but the flashlight continued to switch. At this point the guide was curious and confused as we were. He took the flashlight and tried himself and it didn’t respond but upon handing it back to teen it switched three more times. He said it’d never done that before. None of us really knew what to make of it so we wandered off to see what my companion was up to. He was in a third room in the basement, in the dark, smiling the biggest grin I’ve ever seen him wear. His EMF meter was lit all the way and a group had formed here and was asking questions which were apparently being enthusiastically answered by the ringing of a little service bell. They believed they were talking to the drown children and were playing games with them. So at this point there’s three rooms in the basement and basically all of them were seeing an insane flurry of activity all at once. That is not what I expected! But the crowd was jubilant and we were all having a good time – until one young man sat in the seance room and put on the headphones. He immediately heard, “I hate you” and ripped them right off. So clearly whatever lives in that room is a turd to everyone. I felt a bit better for not yelling at the girls for being mean to each other as it really seemed to be just an angry ghost. I didn’t think I’d ever be saying that!

By now the night was winding to a close and our spooked teen was thoroughly involved and had a lot of fun but was still concerned about bringing something unwanted home. To appease the household spirits they gave a toy frog they had in their pocket to the tour guide to place in the room upstairs where guests had left all sorts of toys for the ghost children. I left my own tidings in the form if a tip to our gracious host for the evening who I must say wore a period top hat very well!

All and all it was a very exciting night and we were all absolutely tuckered out from all the activity. We did not get to go back to the gift shop which is a shame as we would have bought souvenirs but I did get a special memento in the form of a weird light/mist in one of my few photos which was coincidentally was in the same room as all the devices going on when I was in there alone.

Soooo, would I suggest a ghost hunt at the Lizzie Borden Inn? Absolutely! And having gone on one perhaps we shall join a ghost tour someday to learn more of the history. This place was a wild ride for sure!

January 26, 2025 0

Haunted S K Pierce Mansion – Gardner MA

I can’t even begin to tell you how thrilled I was to get a chance to see the inside of the S K Pierce mansion! I have driven by it hundreds, maybe even thousands of times, and I always wondered what was in it. Of course before 1999 it was basically a giant derelict building only a few breaths away from being condemned. The roof was a sieve, the top floor was completely trashed from water damage, and pigeons had taken residence up there for years. And yet even in that state I still looked at in wonder – having both a weakness for Victorian houses and the broken. I didn’t know then it was haunted but the other townsfolk did… the place had a reputation!

Since then it has gone through three more sets of owners, throwing two into financial ruin trying to repair it. The current owners bought this 21 room fixer upper for a shockingly low $315,000 sight unseen because they wanted a haunted house. WELL. Careful what you wish for, this house seems to chew people up and spit them out… almost everyone whose ever owned it fell into complete financial ruin, at least two people died there, and there’s a rumor that a visiting artist went stark raving mad here – or at least that’s what his painting suggest as they get increasing disturbing over the years. In addition to this the house itself has a turbulent history that includes being used as a hotel and a boarding house. In fact it was when it was being used as a boarding house that another local craftsman and artist fell asleep with a lit cigarette and burned to death in one of the rooms.

Since the millennium the house was so haunted that one of the three sets of owners basically fled but not before making this place infamous! It’s been on tons of TV shows – Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures, Scariest Places in America, Chronicle, you name it! So obviously knowing it was haunted my curiosity was even more peaked. So is it? Well, here was my experience…

Upon walking up to the place nothing seemed amiss. And as we were heralded into the house I was not met with any sense of foreboding. If anything this place seemed to have a happy upbeat vibe in the sitting room while we waited for everyone to arrive. I had gone with my mother and her friend who had invited us to this tour. She remembered walking to school every day and passing this house wondering who the man in the window was. Now she was wondering whether or not there really was a man in the window or if perhaps he was an apparition. That was the answer she was seeking knowing there was a ghost boy who ran around and was seen in the windows all the time by people going by. No boy lives there.

As we waited my mother sat next to a fireplace watching the pokers sway. I noticed them swaying too but we were also right next to a register so I thought nothing of it. Probably heat moving them around but she claims this wasn’t’ the case, that she put her hand over the register to see if it was blowing anything and didn’t feel a breeze near the pokers. Well OK, maybe. I still wasn’t convinced.

Now this house was like a giant dollhouse, all decked up with Victorian flair and absolutely insane embossed wallpaper. I was loving it even if there wasn’t any ghosts. Still, the tour guide claimed there were twelve spirits here including a ghost cat in the basement. Well, that’s a little odd, I have to admit..

As the tour started to go through the other rooms it was just phenomenal how technologically advanced this mansion was for the time it was built. It had a dumb waiter that went all the way up to the second floor but not the third – because that was the servant’s quarters and why would making their lives easier be necessary? Similarly there were four fire places and metal panels in the chimney to aid radiant heat but they were also all on the first and second floor. The servants were left to the top floor with no heat source whatsoever which I imagine with really high ceilings it must have been colder than a witch’s tit up there! Finally there was speaking tubes and bells, buttons, and buzzers all to aid in contacting the help. The speaking tubes served as a rudimentary intercom long before such a thing was invented. Another engineering marvel was a cistern that collected a truly massive amount of water from the roof to use for laundry and whatnot. And laundry? It had it’s own heated kiln to make the water warm enough to wash the clothes! I have never come across such a thing… talk about luxury!

Washing Machine with kiln for heated water!

The house maintained a few little wash rooms where basins were kept to just illustrate how bathing was done in the day – via sponge bath. Still… seemed pretty luxurious. We went through the rooms and learned their history. I even found myself in the room the guy died in flames in and I felt nothing out of the ordinary. I was starting to suspect this house was all hype but just as I was thinking that I entered the stairway to go to the third floor, the servants quarters, and I was hit by a wall of anxiety that nearly flung me off my feet!

Earlier on someone had asked why some of the servants stayed behind as spirits, did they just love their job that much? To which the guy laughed and said no, most certainly not, and damn I could really feel that right now! This anxiety permeated my whole being the entire time I was up on the third floor getting worse and worse until I entered a pink room where the whole group of people stopped breathing all at once. You could hear a pin drop. It was the weirdest thing. This room was so quiet, too quiet. It was calming, like a total sense of zen. Our guide claimed a psychic told a story about a teenager who lost a baby in here and how many people feel overwhelmed with sadness entering it but no one here felt sad… they felt…. still. It was peaceful. I could have curled up on that bed and taken a blissful nap!

But then I left the pink room and was immediately assailed with that sense of anxiety and dread again. I was hiding it as best I could but by they time I climbed the spiral staircase to the tower my mother was noticing me acting squirrely. I blamed it on the heights but it wasn’t the heights. By now my legs were shaking uncontrollably. It was just panic… But I was still enjoying it! The tower showed a lovely view all around it and I took a few snaps before descending the stairs again. By now the tour was headed to the basement and out of the area! Woo!

So I headed back down and on that staircase between the second and third floor my little panic attack became too much to bear. By now the anxiety I was feeling was through the roof. Not only was I shaking I was getting that tight chest/can’t breathe feeling. The last two steps down I literally had to pause and tap the wall a few times with my hand to reassure myself to come back to the present. The second I got off the staircase… it was gone. I was back in a well lit house feeling pleasant and normal. What the….

After touring the delightful cellar we were done with the tour and allowed to wander at will for half an hour. I got back together with my mother’s friend who wanted to borrow my eyes to see if I could help determine what the writing on the wall upstairs near the cistern said. It appeared to be a marriage contract with signed witnesses from 1902. Why, I have no idea. But this was the third floor again! And I was back to being wobbly! Meanwhile my mother had wandered off and chosen a room on the third floor to just sit and relax with her eyes closed. She wasn’t right when she came out. I asked what was up. She said she felt weird. I prodded further and she said she was light headed. I suggested we leave the third floor.

All and all it was a great experience. If they succeed in making it a bed and breakfast I’ll be back… to stay the night… on the third floor… because that’s who I am! And you know what? I thought the creepiest place would be the dank cellar but it wasn’t! That cellar was positively happy.

Anyway. I took all sorts of photos. Interestingly a shadow had shown up on the staircase I was having an issue with. Now I can’t rule out that it’s not me casting it buuuut the more I looked at it the more I started to doubt because it does not have any arms outstretched which I would have had taking the photo. HMMM…

Below is ALL the photos I took which I am sure are quite boring unless…. you find something weird in them. If so let me know!

March 13, 2020 0

Past Life Regression – Life Path Fellowship – Jaffrey NH

Around the time I started this blog I attended a group session for past life regression led by a certified regressionist at the Life Path Fellowship in Jaffrey NH, an event I knew about because they had posted it on their FaceBook page. I have always been severely curious about these things but I was hesitant to share my experience publically for the fear of it being seen as “a little out there.” I know what you’re thinking – three years later I am making plans to track Bigfoot on summer camping adventures while searching for UFOs and glowing mushrooms in the dark. I am a little out there. I’m an odd combination of scientific and spiritual. I don’t always 100% believe in these things but I keep my mind and eyes open just in case. And since I am now comfortable just being me here I have decided it was time to finally share what went down. It was an intense personal experience, one which I wrote about with more gravity than my other entries. Reading it now feels like a punch to the gut so take it as what it is – if you’re curious, by all means, go on and read. I apologize that I was unable to take any photos of the actual event so visually this is a pretty boring entry. Either way, enjoy!

That morning I was already running late and I was SUPER nervous about attending. I had no idea what to expect but generally speaking I am not one who usually enjoys participating in group activities. Add hypnosis and I was even more anxious but there was something driving me to do this. When I drove in the parking lot was empty. Greeeeeat. A moment of doubt. I still got out and made my way into the building where I was warmly welcomed. There were two other women there burbling to each other, they were cheerful and funny. I smiled and a minute later another woman showed up – an audience of four. Okaaay, little smaller than expected but too late to back out now. I settled in and just listened. The woman hosting this little event had a calming soft voice and explained the whole process of hypnosis and how it’s still a conscious and voluntary experience and can be backed out of at any point. Then she passed out yoga matts and pillows and told us all to spread out and make ourselves comfortable lying on the floor. I pondered if I would fall asleep. It’d been an early morning.. I settled in under the sun coming through the window. Another fucking gorgeous day!

I know it’s supposed to be a demon but I think it’s kind of cute. Hieronymus Bosch painting

I closed my eyes and relaxed. She brought us through the usual relaxation procedure for hypnosis, taking note of every muscle and feeling it all turn to melted butter. This took what seemed ages and I tried not to fall asleep. She then told us to imagine a garden so I did…. It was a big very planted garden behind a stone wall to one side, trees and a mountain to the others. In the center an old marble fountain, a stone bench, all sorts of strange and colorful plants and little imaginary creatures skittering about like rats. Oddly I think most of them I plagiarized from Hieronymus Bosch. Amusing…. Sure, helpful, probably not. I was sitting there wondering what the point of this exercise was and how silly it seemed when she asked for us to reach out in our garden and touch something there. Fine…. I picked up a weird alien flowery cactus-y kind of thing. It was squishy and weird, sort of like those gel beads but with far less form and perhaps a little warmer. Gross. My subconscious has a sense of humor. She then asked us to imagine our garden bathed in light, bathed in the essence of existence, alive with the energy of the creative force, a place of peace, serenity, and safety. OK, can do. We were instructed to return to the garden whenever we pleased. OK… that sounded slightly alarming but hey, another happy place isn’t always a bad thing.

Then she said we’d be going back to a memory of our younger selves. OK. Which one? Oh fuck, I’m in the back of my mother’s shitty little red Nissan driving down that road between Cathedral and Fitzgerald. My brother is in the front seat. I’m five years old fidgeting with the seat belt which is cutting into my neck because I’m too short to wear it right. This isn’t a good memory…. My mother’s pulled over, hysterical, crying, but trying to hold it together. Oddly I can feel her emotions as well as my own, which is absolute confusion, and odder still my brother’s…. He seems….. He seems disconnected, intellectually knowing what the situation is, emotionally putting it away for later. My mother announces my aunt, whom we’d all been very close to, is dead. She’s not coming back. I’m five, I never knew her when she was healthy, hospital visits were just part of life. This death thing made no sense to me.

Back to the garden I’m told to relax. Clear my mind. Fine, just as well, that wasn’t pleasant.

Now I’m told I’m going to two weeks before I was born. Uhmmmmm, OK, darkness? What am I supposed to be seeing? My host’s soothing voice guides me through the experience of witnessing my own birth. Who is there? What are they feeling? Why are you there? Interesting questions with a shockingly clear answer that comes to me like being jolted by lightning. Because I am wanted here – attracted to my mother’s love. My mother is soooooo happy. My brother is here too, age seven, I can feel his emotions – chaos, just pure chaos. What is this shriveled wailing thing we’re bringing home? I feel Flo [a close family friend] too and am really struck by her vibe…… She’s proud, very proud of my mother for doing what she wanted (having another baby) even though it was extremely difficult in her situation. I am struck once again by the lack of a final presence……… My father isn’t here. I find the whole scene fascinating. Never thought about any of this…

Back to the garden. Breathe, take a moment. OK.

Now I am going back to another life. I’m asked to look down, what kind of shoes am I wearing? A utilitarian looking set of old cowboy boots…. What do my hands look like? Manly? Where am I? Out West somewhere, in a shitty little mining town. I try to see the distinguishing features of the buildings but they become blurry especially the more I try to fixate on them. Dammit. From here I was to go to a pivotal moment in this person’s life. OK. The scene changes. I’m on the beach now, the ocean to be exact. Angry waves, dunes, Californian looking plants. There’s a gathering of people here. We’re in out twenties, early twenties, maybe even younger, there seems to be alcohol involved. A woman stands in front of me, long dark hair, her energy is of pure chaos. She’s crying, trying to make sense of it. Who is this memory about? My best friend from childhood. He’s dead, this is an impromptu memorial of sorts. I’m asked why I am at this particular memory? Not sure but I think I am supposed to meet this woman again. Someday, somehow. And now I’m brought to this person’s scene of death. What has happened? Not sure. I feel dirt and gravel under my fingers and feel myself floating upward. Something has happened very suddenly. I do not realize I am dead. There’s a big gray car. Maybe I was hit by it. Maybe I crashed it and flew through the window. Who knows.

Back to the garden. Well, OK. Here I’m encouraged to meet my spirit guide. Things get weird. I wasn’t expecting a spirit guide buuut…. there’s a red Chinese dragon here. Why is my spirit guide a Chinese dragon? It answers it is not, it’s a mask. Cool. Can I see behind the mask? He takes the mask off, behind lies a red European styled dragon. Very funny. Not sure I believe in any of this spirit guide stuff but either way this is oddly hilarious. I’m told to ask any questions I need to know about my life, he will answer. OK. My waking life was in utter chaos at the time so I asked a shitload all at once, the dragon breathes a deep sigh, has a look of impatience and says, “You’re not meant to know any of that yet.” Fiiiiiiiiine. Spirit guide or a reflection of my subconscious, either way I should have expected that.

Back to the garden, now I am told it’s time to wake up. I popped out of it. Felt my heavy body come back to life on the floor. Opened my eyes, looked at the ceiling fan, got up. OK, that was weird. We sat around and expressed what we had seen. All three other woman had done this before. One saw another dimension, another witnessed death of old age in a teepee, and I can’t remember what the last one came up with. I meandered back out to the car, still a bit woozy, struggling to hold back the urge to cry (not from sadness but from an unexpected joy.) This was an intense experience, completely unexpected, deeply personal. I left with such profound gratitude and love of life and the people in it. Each and every one.

When I got home I told my mother about a little of it. She said I looked like I was glowing and I really held back the urge to cry then. I am not someone who cries so this was a bit alarming for us both.

In the end I didn’t see what I thought I would see. I didn’t get any answers I sought. I don’t even have a belief one way or the other of whether this was a real vision or just my subconscious throwing up whatever but because it was so life affirming I stepped away from it changed somehow – in only the best of ways. When asked if I would recommend this to others – yes, I would, but with the caveat that you don’t know what you are going to get.

January 5, 2020 0

A Quick Winter Update and a Reminder Spring is Coming!

So I admit I didn’t get out much this winter but I still have been busy figuring out what to do with spring once it gets here. I have scheduled myself to visit more ruins, castles, haunted places, light houses, quirky one-of-a-kind mom and pop shops, perhaps a few farms, as well as more nature trails and museums. Who knows, I might even indulge in another passion – food! And to add to the excitement I am expanding to my repertoire of photos and writing with my very first video! I am hoping future videos will include interviews with more interesting local personalities, or at least with more subject matter than just me blathering on! ENJOY!

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider donating to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on and sharing my adventures with you!

February 9, 2018 0

An Invitation to a New Adventure and a Request for Help

Hello again dear readers and followers! I have had SO MUCH fun this summer bringing you out to see the wilder spots of New England! And your responses to this have been amazing! I am hoping you’re still enjoying the journey because I am about to embark on another. You see my life fell apart about eleven months back in a big and serious way. I lost my beloved farm due to circumstances beyond my control and now I want to start a new one in celebration of all that is good and wonderful in New England. And this time it’ll be far better because I want to start it just as much for all you as I do for myself. It’ll be an educational farm and intentional homesteading community. If you’d like to learn more or possibly support my cause please feel free to visit my GoFundMe page: https://www.gofundme.com/help-fund-an-educational-farm And if you cannot donate but still want to support my bold ideas please share! share! share!

Thank you again for all your support, your suggestions, and all the beautiful and positive thoughts you have sent my way. May your journey be wonderful and your mind be at rest.

UPDATE: The GoFundMe didn’t fly so I have continued my efforts elsewhere. I have added a donate button to this blog to help me pay for gas money and keep it going and in the meantime I still work towards my homestead with my future farm’s website Through the Looking Glass Farm – there I started a video blog to philosophize the life and a store to sell my art (as well as others) and homesteading creations. Any support means the world to me and I thank you all for following my journey.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

August 31, 2017 0

Psychic Fair – Jaffrey NH

On the first Saturday of every month the LifePath Fellowship in Jaffrey NH holds a “psychic fair.” If you don’t know what that means don’t worry. I had no idea either when I showed up for the first time a few months ago. Basically there’s a handful of people there, mostly tarot card readers, but sometimes angel card readers, mediums, clairvoyants, healers, aura photographers, you name it. It’s different every time. You can buy an appointment with the person of your choosing $20 for 20 minutes. The first time I went I chose randomly a tarot card reader. This was the first time I had ever had my cards read and the poor guy doing it almost swore when my cards came up. “Oh boy! Your life is CHAOS.” It totally was. The next twenty minutes were intense. He hit on all the points of chaos and with freakishly similar words to what I had been using to describe my situation despite the fact I told him nothing. Curious. The most hopeful part of that whole outburst was, “Well…. it looks like you’re dealing with this huge mess really well….” Thank you. Was it the smile? Or the fact I am dressed nicely? Oh the cards, right. Didn’t learn anything about my future but he sure as hell described my present to a T. Didn’t even miss anything. It was weird. Especially for a cynic who only went as a desperate diversion from life, in other words I went to be entertained.

This time around I got a different reader. She was a sweet old lady that reminded me of Jane Goodall. I quietly sat down, said nothing of relevance, and she started. Today I wanted to know about my future, not what was going on presently. Last time I had my cards read I think everyone I had ever met was represented somewhere. This time the spread was me-centric. No one else was appearing anywhere. She told me this was very important, that there was something I was doing by myself, that it had to be done by just myself. I smiled. Yes, yes indeed. I am currently single and after spending two years running a heritage breed poultry farm I decided that even though I do not have the financial means, the farm, or really anything else anymore after the break up, I still want to devote my life to farming – but this time instead of aiming to be a hatchery I want it to be an educational farm on a large acreage. I want it to be a place of community and public access. My goals will be to have a tool library, a seed library, a co-op garden, classes on how to raise your own food including gardening, slaughtering, processing, and cooking, and I want to also have nature walking paths that wind past non-traditional tiny homes I plan on building and renting out. Animals on the property will be heritage breeds in danger of extinction being bred for prosperity and the gardens will have a vast variety of vegetables, fruits, and berries that are also quickly going extinct in our monoculture. It’s a HUGE vision, a complicated vision, and one that is really damn near impossible to accomplish with no credit and no formal education but that’s not stopping me because I feel there is a much higher purpose to all this. I feel completely driven. With that being said it’s been crazy laborious to set up a platform, to make donation prizes, and to come up with a strategy, all right after moving into a far from ideal situation (i.e. I have NO space to do this.) But this is what was going on and what I wasn’t saying when my cards were being read.

So she says I am doing something big, by myself, something others think I am incapable of doing but don’t listen to them. The others are an unnamed audience of multiple people. Here there was a vision, a vision only I could do, and one in which it was of absolute importance that I kept true. Don’t let anyone else take credit or change it any way, it is yours and you have to maintain control. Sounds about right. But there is something negative too – bureaucracy – over and over again, perhaps a board of directors, who are coming in and giving you a hard time about everything. It’ll be frustrating and you’ll fight them a lot but in the end you’ll succeed, just don’t let them change what you’re doing or take credit for any of it. I am guessing this means the planning and zoning board of the town I decide to settle in. Building your own tiny home is a bureaucratic nightmare in New England, worse if you want it to be a functioning farm business as well. I know this is the sort of thing only crazy people try to accomplish. I realize it’s going to be hard. I am still going for it. Hearing this from the cards was comforting. More amusing still she did two lay outs and they both said the same thing. Curiously she said I feel like I am standing still and it’s not going fast enough (dead on) and that I am just trying to keep everything balanced (which I very much am in everything In my life right now. It’s of dire importance for any of this to work.) Also that money is tight and that I am seeking it from all different sources (did this octogenarian just reword crowdsourcing??) And she left off with an unexpectedly sweet message. “In a year or two, soon but not too soon, someone will come into your life, a love interest, who will be better than you can even imagine.” She repeated that, better than I can imagine. I did not ask, nor was I looking for that sort of answer. Part of me has always figured once I sort myself out and am settled after all this I will find someone – but better than I can imagine? That’s a lot to live up to! Perhaps I should take this note as mere flattery.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 7, 2017 0