Category: Roadside Attractions

The Sparkle Barn – Wallingford Vermont

The shittier life gets and the more apocalyptic the surrounding world becomes the more I desperately need whimsy and the Sparkle barn… well, it was exactly what I needed! This place was so nonsically colorful it just fed my soul.

It had been on my bucket list for a few months but to be honest I had no idea what to expect. It was really just the title that was sparking my infinite curiosity.

We visited the Sparkle Barn on our second day in Vermont. It was our first stop and quite a hike into the middle of nowhere but you know, Vermont’s like that. It’s the state that hides a lot of treasures behind a mischievous smile.

Driving up it didn’t look like too much from the outside although there was a broken down bus in the parking lot with a beach ball in its window painted to look like a giant eyeball. Trippy. I like the fact someone else besides me was personifying cars. By now the issues at home that had been dogging my companion the day before had come to a head and he was now having a bit of a meltdown yelling into the phone. I gave him some space by wandering into the yard of this odd place.

There seemed to be a garden of sorts out front but it was unlike any garden I’d ever seen. For one the flowers were all made of brightly colored metal. They reminded me a bit of Alice in Wonderland. Beyond them was a bench in the shape of a unicorn you could sit on and so many other sparkly metal decorations both dancing in the wind and tacked up to the barn’s wall. I was fucking loving this and I hadn’t even stepped inside yet!

Inside was even sparklier. The entryway was surrounded by stained glass windows and the inside was a darling little gift shop with fancy notebooks and diaries and whatnot, a light smattering of nerdcore (like some Edgar Allen Poe dolls!) It was all very cute. Unfortunately, my companion was still coming down from his traumatic phone call and was more than a little distracted. That is until we walked into a room that seemed at complete odds with the over the top color of the rest of this place. It was a room with a wall mural of ravens. There was a big Gothic chair and candles and witchy items for sale in case anyone needed a bundle of sage or a piece of Edgar Allen Poe or Edward Gorey memorabilia. Honestly, I haven’t done enough with those two as both had lived in New England at some point in their lives. And I adore both of their work.

However the biggest treat of this place was upstairs which was so immersing that it shocked both of us into experiencing the moment. The second floor of the barn was an “interactive art display.” And when I tell you EVERY last inch of wall, ceiling, and floor of this place was covered in brightly colored fabrics and enormous fake flowers I mean it. It was literally like walking into Alice in Wonderland. The photos just don’t do it justice. Vines and flowers dangled from above and seemed to sprout from the plush super thick shag carpet as well. Child size chairs and tables in the form of flower petals and toadstools sat in two rows so you could sit or watch the children scamper through this felted garden. This tickled every cell of my inner child. SO MUCH WHIMSY. I was so stupidly happy in this moment. This was a goddamn treasure for all ages. I wished more places like this existed. We both left in a much better mood than we arrived in.

2

Route 1A Relics – Ellsworth Maine

Sometimes you find the best things while trying to go somewhere else. I remember when I was growing up the adults were always sooo frustrated when the kids would go completely off the rails and stop paying attention to whatever it was, they were supposed to be paying attention to, but I surmise this are the best bits of life.

I’m an adult now with flagrantly untreated ADD so not much has changed. My need for novelty and complete lack of planning are still fierce. So, it’s not surprising to know that on the way to Acadia State Park I passed by this absolutely chaotic antique store and HAD to stop. I am so glad we did!

This place was… mental. Outside a clutter of rural relics adorned the front, skeletons danced in the upstairs windows, and a giant lobster guarded a bus that looked like it’d been turned into a little cafe. Maybe that’s for the summer, I don’t know, I usually show up to these things off-season when everything looks abandoned and apocalyptic. But the store itself was still buzzing. People were shopping, there were two cashiers, life was good.

I found a bin of driftwood out front and rummaged through it as each piece was $5, a fraction of what driftwood back home costed, and I thought my aquarium fish deserved a nice addition to their decor. Inside the place looked even more like a barn than the outside with exposed beams and wood floors. I loved the atmosphere already, but it took a decidedly even more lovable turn the more we ventured inside. There were a number of vendors here who clearly had an eccentric sense of humor, or at least an unconventional decorating style. One corner drew me to it with its large arched window and posters plastered randomly in all directions all over the aforementioned arch. That vendor was selling action figures and animal bones. Because those two things are very complimentary. Just across from this was a huge assortment of brand-new books, the remnants of a failed bookstore I’m guessing. I picked up a really unique looking volume on New England folklore here and begrudgingly paid almost full price. It just was too damn interesting to leave.

In another room we found a life size Spiderman, tangled in webs on the ceiling, looking like he was about to be devoured by a black widow. I’m no expert on comics but I’m not sure that’s how that story goes… Aquaman was also on the ceiling, as I’m sure he’s accustomed, riding the top of a hanging canoe. And if that wasn’t alarming enough clowns started to appear, a life size It and a life-size Batman in a distressingly seductive pose neither of us could figure out. It wasn’t even the sexy revisionist Batman of the 80’s to present, it was the classic cartoonish version.

I was also delighted to see a whole booth of weird fish pottery. You cannot beat the absolute strangeness of local artists. All this wonderful ambiance seemed to be the heart of this adventure. It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten to mention the antiques! There were a number of them in this shop, and as is custom they ranged in price with the most affordable in the basement and the most insanely priced on the top floor. Really a nice assortment of everything small and quirky.

My companion left that day with an old Zippo lighter. It was shiny, and contains fire, so I could see the appeal. We both bought some bomb mittens that according to the cashier a sweet old lady had made from old sweaters. I have used them since, and they are really warm!! Highly recommended if you need a pair!

Annnnywaaay, if you happen to need a little whimsy in your life or like antiquing for small objects this is really where it’s at, and it’s near a lot of touristy things too if you come in the summer.

0

Donkey Statue – Boston Massachusetts

Ever have one of those moments where you find yourself somewhere odd, staring at something you can’t explain, and having no idea why? This seems to happen a lot to me and today was no different. I was on the Freedom Trail just meandering when I came across a seagull sitting atop a statue. I thought it was so funny I stepped into the dooryard to snap a photo and found instead the cutest little donkey statue under it! And honestly, I was going to let this go as just that… a fun little thing during the day, not a whole damn blog entry, but things started to get a bit weird. You see the donkey in addition to being life-size (to a miniature donkey) was also practically glowing. It was a bronze statue and a clearly well-loved ass as there were golden wear marks almost all over the damn thing! I mean I’d seen bronze statues polished by people touching them before but it’s always just one spot. This thing looked like it’d been furiously rubbed like a genie’s lamp. What… is going on here?? I looked around for an explanation but there wasn’t any plaques or signs or anything… it was just… an anomaly.

“Is it shiny because people pet it for good luck?” I asked my companion who had no idea either. Just for good measure I pet him. I’m not really superstitious but I could use some good luck… especially after the earlier parking fiasco and the traffic, my god, the traffic. Later I’d look up what made this donkey so special and when I read the story… I smiled!

Apparently, they donkey is absolutely as random as it looks. He started his life in Italy where a Roger Webb found him, became enamored, and purchased him for the low low price of ten thousand dollars. Why? He wanted to put him on the Freedom Trail to entertain bored children! But you can’t just put a random donkey on the Freedom Trail. That makes no sense. And when he tried to donate the donkey to the city of Boston they just frowned. No. just no. BUT HE’S SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM!

Anyway… eventually Mr. Webb came to lease the courtyard of The Old City Hall and he decided that would be a great place to board the little guy. Certainly, better than his daughter’s garage which is where it was spending all it’s time during this lack of a custody battle. He still had to make up a reason for why it should be there and so he just muttered, “Democrats?” And apparently Boston relented. That is until after the donkey was put in place and the Republicans got their panties in a bunch wondering where their elephant was going to go. To appease them Webb did put a dedication up to the Republicans but it wasn’t in the form of a bronze elephant it was actually just a set of footprints directly in front of the donkey…. so they could stand in opposition to it.

Meanwhile, much to Webb’s glee the donkey became a BELOVED monument, climbed on by children of all ages, pet on the regular, and with selfies galore. And I mean… it deserved it. Why? Because it’s ridiculous and adorable, that’s why. In this increasingly hostile world sometimes it’s nice just to spread joyful chaos. So, if you’re of a whimsical nature like myself I think you too should pay a visit to this sweet little donkey.

0

The Halloween City Vendor & Oddities Market 2023 – East Durham New York

Today I decided to strike out on my own and take a long drive to New York – three hours away – in part because I was invited to do so and I was intrigued. For the first hour of the drive I was going through torrential downpours hoping there was no flooding because when it comes to taking the Prius swimming there are no winners. My GPS was similarly uncooperative and refused to acknowledge the address I typed in was in fact real. Eventually I’d have to pit the GPS and my phone navigation against each other in a death match. Just kidding, both devices are still fine, I assure you.

But that’s not to say I wasn’t a little frazzled when I finally drove in, more so when I realized I’d have to parallel park. I tried. God’s honest truth I tried. But eventually I gave up and drove quite a distance just to be the last car parked in the line. See, that was easy, now to hoof it the half mile up the street. Slight exaggeration, though the man at the register seemed to pick up on how much of a hot mess I was in that moment. It was an awkward exchange.

This place was bizarre. I had no idea what I was walking into when I came here. I guess I just expected a gymnasium full of vendors like you see in markets back in the sticks but no, this venue seemed to be an old roadside attraction/camp that had long been past its glory years and was now cashing in on how creepy it had become in its state of semi-decay. And why not? Little haunted houses and spooky props seemed to be just the normal background scenery here which made it a charming and strange open-air market. I kinda fell in love with this place as I took some photos before wandering around and finding the vendors in what felt like a Byzantine layout.

I’d been initially invited here as a vendor but these past couple years have been hard in the creativity department. Usually I have something, or a lot of somethings, in the way of art but not lately. Plus I sorta wanted to poke at this place and see what was actually selling here. I’ve been to so many different markets that I knew my particular flavor of art wasn’t always appreciated. Or almost ever if I’m honest. Being a vendor is hard work! I was however delighted to see that I would have fit right in had I decided to be a vendor. The people here were weird, proudly weird, which is the best kind of weird. If you were a witch, they had you covered. Crystals, potions, sage wands, tarot decks and positive vibes you’d find it all here in multiple booths. Then there were the bones, the repurposed scary dolls, and rings made in the shape of human teeth. Weird and whimsical paintings coyly dotted several booths here and there, one fellow had an absolutely gorgeous collection of photography prints of abandoned places, several vendors had an assortment of small fabric creations, a young writer pitched his book real hard but he didn’t have to. I bought it anyway because I like encouraging writers. I also love encouraging artists which is why I also ended up with a button and another small token I bought for a friend which I won’t be talking about just in case they’re reading this!

At some point I ended up in Candy Land – the pot vendors. They had EVERYTHING. And all in such bright colors! Every edible known to man and then some. And some little colorful bongs and I don’t know what else. I sorta wandered away after someone offered a sample. Sample of what I don’t know but I felt like I should drift off before accidentally eating a tab of acid or something. Not that I think anyone here was malicious in any way, that’s just 100% how my life goes. Not a day goes by where I am not asking myself, “How did that just happen?!” And this includes two separate occasions of accidentally eating psychotropic berries. So yeah, I’m talented.

I was really enjoying this. I’d found all my favorite kinds of people so far – witches, hippies, people in full steam punk regalia, stoners, artists, really all the empaths on the fringe of society. This was especially so for the woman selling cutting boards, soap, and paddles presumably to beat lovers with. I’m not sure how these things are related as this is also not my wheelhouse, but the sex positivity was refreshing in any event. I ordered a cup of corn chowder and sat just in front of the aforementioned vendor. Why? People watching. It was the perfect spot for that. While I was there I messaged the organizer of this event (and hilarious author) Jeff Mach and did a short meet and greet. It’s always lovely to finally put a face to my Twitter and/or Facebook friends! I wished him good luck as I went about my afternoon.

I must say the vendors and customers alike at this place were all super nice! I lost count how many compliments I got on my bellbottoms, silly T-shirt, and vibrant orange hair. Got into one discussion with a vendor about my age – 38 – to which both vendors gasped, “You do not look 38!” THANK YOU. You know how to flatter these creaky old bones!

Anyway, I am writing this tonight in the hopes someone may see it and join the festivities tomorrow as this is a three-day event Fri-Sun. And maybe if you’re reading this later on who knows, it could be an annual event if enough people like it… I certainly did!


0

Tarrytown/Sleepy Hollow – New York

After perusing the cemetery earlier on in the day we decided to head towards town and take a little walk to see if we could find any neat little shops or other things to explore. What we found was a whole town utterly dedicated to Halloween. EVERY shop window had decorations, paintings, and Halloween displays. Scarecrows dotted the streets, each with a name, so I am guessing it was a contest. The local school nearby advertised their sports team: The Horsemen. Banners were hanging in the hopes people would attend various events all related to Sleepy Hollow and other spooky adventures. It was an absolute delight!

Even the municipal building was in on it, adorned with a stain glass window of a headless horseman and telling everyone about this year’s haunted hayrides. Locals looked at me with a mild amusement as I took photos and cooed. Clearly, we needed to plan this better. I have a feeling next year we’re going to go all out. You see most of the things that needed tickets were completely sold out – shows, cemetery tours, haunted walks, you name it! Oh yes, we will be back…

0

Not So Spooky Halloween Display – Exeter Rhode Island

We had a WONDERFUL day exploring Sleepy Hollow New York earlier on in the day and we thought that was it. I had a pounding migraine, we’d been driving for 4 hours but when we saw this LIT UP driveway on the way home we had to check it out. I literally turned my head achy ass around to go in. (106 Ten Rod Road Exeter RI)

As you enter there are signs asking you to turn your headlights off and stay in the car. This place was LIT. Just about every blow up Halloween decoration you could think of lined both sides of this driveway all illuminated with lights. Two other lookeyloos were already driving along. There was a donation box at the end of the driveway in front of an open barn FULL of huge Halloween decorations as well.

My dearest tried taking photos but I was driving instead of stopping and most came out blurry. My brain was FRIED from a whole day of migraining and he’s just too damn polite to yell at me.

In any event if you find yourself in Exeter this is worth a detour!!

0

Laconia Antique Center – Laconia New Hampshire

Sometimes we end up at destinations just because that’s where our lazy google searches suggest. This one came up because it was the largest antique center in New Hampshire and we figured it’d be worth the drive. And it was! My goodness!

It was two VERY full floors and some of the things here were definitely different from other antique stores! One corner seemed to have a collection of automatic playing pianos, organs, and an old timey wooden telephone booth that looked like it may have been ripped from someone’s 1930’s parlor. Just aside that there was a FULL 1950’s SODA FOUNTAIN COUNTER with stools, shiny equipment, and an endearing menu that included milkshakes, frappes, and root beer floats. I have no idea when they had a server around but it wasn’t today. Sadly. I wouldn’t have minded a root beer float. I was fondly remembering the first time I ordered one in front of a group of horrified Europeans. Apparently, the rest of the world does not lob gobs of ice cream into their soda. Their loss! It’s a fun way to get diabetes. Did I mention the music they were playing here was mostly 1950’s hop music? So. Flipping. Cute.

The rest of the first floor was filled with the usual vendor booths and small items. A lot were clearly marketed towards bikers which made sense as Laconia Bike Week is huuuge every summer. Other books included a fascinating volume of English history, a book on cryptids, and lots of weird recipe books. Scattered among them were a lot of plastic dolls in varying levels of creepiness. There was even a possessed Snow White with red eyes. Why red eyes? No idea. Maybe she was getting ready for Halloween. There was also a tub of 30 naked Barbies for $45 which I had to debate not buying because I really want to start doing creepy doll make overs… the artist in me is bored. Or just procrastinating being an adult. Whatever you believe.

Speaking of letting my inner child play the upstairs was ADORABLE. There were a series of fully set up model trains with complete villages. And hidden among one we found Ninja Turtles protecting the streets from… bad guys? I forgot what Ninja Turtles fight but they were there! So were some dinosaurs. Because we like to be historically accurate these days. There were signs up letting you know when the trains run – only a few hours every weekend. It’s a bleeding shame we were there on a weekday because I think my heart may have melted if they were running.

We left empty handed that day but that’s mostly because I don’t have a cabin in the woods to install an old cast iron cook stove. This place was wonderful and well worth the drive. If you are looking for a little antiquing adventure punctuated with lots of nostalgia you absolutely should check this place out!

0

Somero Maple Farm – New Ipswich New Hampshire

You ever have one of those moments when you’re driving down the road and you see an interesting sign but you’re on your way somewhere else and don’t have the leisure to go poke at something? That’s what happened the day I hiked the Ponamah Bog. I was driving there when I saw a sign promising maple syrup which just by coincidence I’d run out of earlier that day on a sweet batch of wheat pancakes. I tried to make a note in my head to remember on my way back but that’s always a super dicey prospect when you have flagrantly untreated ADD.

Well! You wouldn’t believe it but several hours later I was still hankering for maple syrup when I remembered to look for the sign on the way back. It’s a small sign and it points vaguely down a country road with the instruction that it was a mile down said road from the sign. Oh boy. I just love these little sketchy adventures I go on by my lonesome.

I drove for quite a while until I came to an intersection. The sign didn’t say anything about an intersection. Had I gone too far? No! For there was another sign promising I was close! And so I was.

I drove into a small parking lot of what was clearly a farm but there wasn’t a soul about. It said something about a gift shop but it looked dark. I slinked uncertainly up to the door which had one of those digital number locks on it. This was not feeling great…. so I peered in through what looked like a darkened window and guess what? I saw the cutest damn gift shop I’d ever seen! So I tried the door handle and it wasn’t locked! I walked into a tiny one room temple to the glory of maple syrup.

Here I found all color variations of maple syrup in every size from adorable nips to a full gallon. And there was flavored maple syrup! In coffee and cinnamon. And maple syrup BBQ sauces, maple salt water taffy, honey, fresh eggs, cute NH related swag… this place knew I was coming.

I grabbed a half gallon of maple syrup like I was the goddamn ham burglar. And those sweet little maple leaf shaped cookie cutters! Obviously I needed eggs too and a teeny tiny whisk because it was shiny.

Then I didn’t know what to do because how was I to pay for this? I muttered to myself getting distracted as I wandered to what sort of looked like a counter. There I found detailed instructions on how and where to leave exact change (or a check but c’mon I’m not 80.)

This place was so adorable… I just can’t. If you’re in the area and in need of maple anything this is your place. You need to come here.

0

The Last Damning Accusations of Caroline Cutter’s Gravestone – Elm Street Cemetery – Milford MA

As we all grow older and hopefully wiser we began to take on the gentle wisdom of phrases like, “Let lying dogs lie” but Caroline Cutter may have been an exception to this philosophy. You see after her death in the mid 1800’s her husband spent what I can only guess was a decent bit of money on a scathing 150 word headstone that called out several members of the community by name, accusing them of harassing his beloved to literal death.

Basically, this was a petty feud between a church and a couple who once attended services with them. According to the church Caroline’s husband Calvin Cutter was little more than a shyster. They accused him of bullying other church members into helping him fund his own church across town – a church that ultimately was never built. For these grievances they excommunicated both Calvin and Caroline and Caroline apparently took the blow to her reputation very hard and despite her better efforts was never able to get back into the good graces of the church.

After she died Calvin took it upon himself to make her headstone into one of the pettiest monuments ever carved. In it he claimed the excommunication destroyed his wife’s life, threw her into poverty, and eventually killed her while she was already down. That’s quite a bit of drama. Drama I don’t even think the town wants over 200 years later as a completely unrelated monument/plaque stands two feet from the stone nearly completely blocking it.

Now I don’t know if Calvin really was a na’ardowell, nor do I know if Caroline was really as dramatic as her husband. It seems as if social ostracization may have made both of them a little nutty. And maybe, just maybe, dear old Calvin wasn’t a grifter but just someone with ADD who let his rejection sensitivity spill over into his grief for his deceased wife. Anything could be possible!

But no matter what you believe the stone still reads thusly, Caroline H., Wife of Calvin Cutter, M.D. Murdered by the Baptist Ministry and Baptist Churches As follows: Sep’t. 28, 1838; aged 33 She was accused of lying in church meeting by the Rev. D. D. Pratt and Deacon Albert Adams. Was condemned by the church unheard. She was reduced to poverty by Deacon William Wallace. When an exparte council was asked of the Milford Baptist Church, by the advice of their committee, George Raymond, Calvin Averill, and Andrew Hutchinson They voted not to receive any communication on the subject. The Rev. Mark Carpenter said he thought as the good old Deacon said, “We’ve got Cutter down and it’s best to keep him down.” The intentional and malicious destruction of her character And happiness as above described destroyed her life. Her last words upon the subject were “Tell the Truth and The Iniquity will come out”

This stone is SUPER easy to find, though there is no parking in the cemetery or roadside. I parked at the gas station across the road but I guess there’s also a park around the corner with even more appropriate parking. The cemetery gates are behind a little park monument out front and should be open if it’s daylight hours. As for Caroline Cutter’s stone – it’s in the first row almost in the center right in front of someone’s barn and behind another completely unrelated monument.

0

Save the Bay Exploration Center and Aquarium -Newport Rhode Island

We had been meaning to check out the little aquarium in town but time has a funny way or eroding old ideas. However, today was the day we finally ventured to this little aquarium next to the bay. And it was so worth it!

We weren’t sure what the parking situation was but were happy to be told upon driving in and asking that part of the parking lot was sectioned off for the aquarium and free. So that was our first nice surprise. Admission was $9 for an adult and this place was… a little strange to figure out how to get in. We had to follow a bunch of signs through corridors before we found the ticket booth.

Inside we learned that this aquarium was basically an education center that housed various marine life and animals mostly from the bay but also in freshwater habitats nearby. The place was tiny but packed in every nook and corner with aquariums and displays. I was a little taken aback when the first thing I saw was a tank with three cowfish (labelled Buffalo Boxfish) in it. We have cowfish in New England?! Yes, but no, a guide answered. These were in one of several tropical fish tanks maintained at the aquarium where tropical fish dragged out of the bay found a refuge rather than freezing to death in the winter. Why are there random tropical fish in the bay? The answer was a bit hazy but basically, they’d got severely lost at some point in their life and washed up here in this cold gray hellscape where if they weren’t accidentally fished and then donated to the aquarium they’d just eventually freeze to death and die. There was quite a few of these “orphans” and I was surprised by the variety – they even had a puffer fish!

From here we were welcomed to the first touch tank. A guide handed us a periwinkle and told of about what sounds like the first issue we had with feral animals or rather non-native species. The little varmints apparently ate most of the plant life in the bay and left it permanently altered. We also got to hold a hermit crab and a welk. The welk was really weird. In the tank next to them there was an orange lobster whose life had been saved because he was such a bizarre color. He already looked cooked! Lobsters are generally brown.

As we made our way through the rest of the aquarium several guides gave us super in-depth information about their little section. We got to pet a stingray, a dog fish, a disabled horseshoe crab who was a permanent resident, and even a piece of seaweed which was rigid and not at all slimy. Blew my mind. We got to see their shark breeding program – so many baby sharks and developing eggs! We also met a series of octopuses who were REALLY good at hiding, some sea horses (we have sea horses in new England?! Apparently!) and a tank full of adorable shrimp. Later we’d get to the freshwater tanks and see several species of turtles and frogs. The snapping turtle was found wandering lost in the bay and I found his lack of direction just as endearing as his extra toes. You guys, there was a POLYDACTYL SNAPPING TURTLE. How great is that!

All and all we got QUITE the lesson from the various guides and learned that the center will be moving soon to a location 7 times the size. We will be back when they do! All and all it was a great little place to check out and my only lament is there were no lump suckers which are my favorite local marine fish but who knows maybe they’ll get some after they move! And hey, if you’re here in the winter the Save the Bay people also do seal tours.

0

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑