Death Valley – Nevada/California

Death Valley is a weird place. It’s an inhospitable place, but absolutely beautiful. The mountains surrounding it are clearly visible and often look like they’re made of some sort of layer cake or colored powder. There’s something so food-like about them. The roads lead to one resort after another that caters to rich snobby people driving rented RVs and Mercedes. It’s a playground for the rich… a grotesque show of the power of money. “Look I can afford to vacation in the frickin’ desert! And in complete comfort!” There were even pools behind the lodges and the people? UGH. There was even some little punk-ass snot doing push ups shirtless in the middle of the salt flats of Badwater like “Lookee me! I’m all tough!” Has anyone ever been impressed with such dip-shit bravado?? It made me want to pull a switch blade just to see if he’d crap himself. But alas, that’d be unladlylike.

To make matters worse the little brats had completely graffittied a great deal of the salt flats, writing their names and little heart signs in the sand everywhere. Pissed me right off, this was such a pristine place for those obnoxious brats to ruin it for everyone else. I walked quite a ways until the graffiti nearly dried up. It was too hot to go any further. I got back to the Jeep drenched in my own sweat. I’d bathed in sun lotion so I was also greasy besides dripping with sweat.

I went to the Devil’s Golf Course. That was neat. It’s this vast expense of land with gnarled salt chunks littering the landscape and making it almost look like a coral maze. I dared some idiot to lick it to see if it was really salt. The answer was a resounding yes. It was such an odd sight… Like popcorn or something. And I didn’t have to hike anywhere to see it.

The last destination I decided to go to was Salt Creek which was home to the rare pupfish. It was a half mile round trip hike. I figured this would be another wild tortoise hunt but actually the really tiny creek was full of them. Most were so small they looked like mosquito larvae but there were a few bigger ones with beautiful stripes. They reminded me of cichlids. Cute little boiling cichlids.

I walked around and eventually found a curly tailed lizard running for its life on the hot sand. It was adorable! When it was running its tail was curled right over its back like a pug. It straightened out when it stopped and I took some photos. I must say returning home I will miss the lizards.. they have brought such joy to me watching them and seeing the many different species I never knew existed. I am happy to have experienced them.

But anyway, though I bathed in more sun block I still managed to get burned ankles, part of one arm, and pink cheeks. It’s never wise to bring someone the shade of an albino into the desert. I was surprised to find the insect life here was supersized like the fly with a fluffy mohawk that was bigger than the hummingbirds I saw at the zoo. When I got back to the car I was very ready to get out… but I stopped for a magnet… and a cold drink… and the most amazing popsicle ever. It was cold and that was all that was necessary in being the most amazing popsicle ever. Like seriously, The. Most. Amazing. Popsicle. EVER. No popsicle before or since could ever come close to that popsicle in greatness.

The most sadistic part of Death valley was the one gas station I passed. $5.50 a gallon. Basically if you aren’t loaded you aren’t getting out of here alive.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

June 9, 2011 0

Tonopah Nevada

I slept at a rest stop in Tonopah, which looks creepy at night but is actually very nice during the day. I got up and fed the pigeons which came out of nowhere. There was also three doves too busy beating the crap out of each other to get any of the stale bread I threw to them. Little sparrows would often sprint by and snatch something from the pigeons. I was having a lot of fun that morning.

However, when I drove away I realized how odd a place Tonopah really was. Half the town was boarded up, or more of it really. In all of main street the only business still running was a tour guide’s office to go on a mule-drawn silver mine tour. Slightly up the road was the strangest looking McDonald’s I had ever seen. The bathrooms were imported from a post apocalyptic vision. Although it did have a toilet that flushed everything else in the bathroom appeared to be a prop. The sink was clogged, the soap was missing, and blow dryer had wheezed it’s last long before I got there. Just as well, who needs to wash their hands after a toilet paper-less experience in a dingy McDonald’s bathroom anyway?

But the bathrooms weren’t the crowning jewel of this place. No, that was the swarm of people. At ten in the morning this joint was hoppin’! Sooo many people! In fact I think some of the children I spotted at Joshua tree were here – either in the flesh or in the literally dozens of missing person posters hanging on every wall. Made one wonder what was in the burgers…. Quick Batman! Back to the Jeep!

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June 8, 2011 0

Vulture City – Arizona

Vulture City is an intact ghost town and mine I thought would be a hoot to go visit. I poked around all day so that I could arrive at dusk or after dark. I learned the hard way that someone had claimed the town for their own, fencing it off and charging admission for tours which only ran until 2pm during the day. What’s the point of a ghost town if you can’t go when the spooks are out? Disappointed I decided not to stick around until the next morning and drove towards our next destination.

June 5, 2011 0

Globe Arizona – LAVA!!

While driving through Globe Arizona I noticed something really bright glowing through the trees. It was an intense red and the closer I drove it to it the more intense it became until I couldn’t look directly at it without burning sun spots into my eyes. As I approached it not only got brighter but I could feel heat. Driving at a crawl I approached a gate and several hundred feet beyond there was a live lava flow. I could feel the heat from the car as if I was standing next to a hot stove. It was all encompassing and set off a primal fear. I shouldn’t be near this. It oozed and glowed and proved quite a mystery. I asked locals about it… none of them had any idea they lived on an active lava flow… what had I witnessed?!

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June 4, 2011 0

Navajo Nation – Monument Valley, Valley of the Gods, Mexican Hat

So after talking to that strange Vermont man I decided to go check out Monument Valley. I don’t even know what to say… it is the most gorgeous scenery, so profoundly huge and beautiful that I don’t think my words could ever come close to describing it.

Imagine topless flat mountains made of rock whose form and vibrant color were so startling they looked like they could be alive. Imagine green, yet oddly plantless plateaus, and brilliant red towering to the sky. Imagine rocks whose form looked like giant melting marshmallows and imagine a landscape so immense and so humbling as to take over all other thought. I couldn’t take enough photos because every time I drove even slightly around each formation the light would change and a whole new personality would come out.

Monument Valley was full of robust formations, some even looked like castles in the distance. Valley of the Gods contained many similar formations, just different shapes. There was an episode of Doctor Who filmed there. All geekery set aside I found the Mexican Hat quite by surprise. It just happened to be on the road that I was on so I pulled over and took a photo. It indeed looks like a rock supporting a giant red Mexican hat. It was all so amazing. The scenery just kept getting more beautiful and complex with every blink of my eyes.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 31, 2011 0

Four Corners Monument (Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah)

I decided to go to the four corners because who wouldn’t at this point? I mean really, its there, might as well go. I sort of figured it’d be this lame monument in the middle of nowhere with nothing much going on around it. I also figured it’d be free. No, you do have to pay a few bucks to see it, nothing too extravagant though. I drove in and found it quite busy. People filed in and out, the vast majority were Americans this time. People came in and took photos of each other touching all four states at once. The usual staged touristy photos were taken.

Around the monument itself there were a few dozen little stands, all with Navajo craftsmen and women. They were selling everything from tacky little four corners memorabilia to hand crafted sand paintings, gorgeous pottery, and lots and lots and lots of jewelry and beadwork. The people selling the stuff all said hi and were very friendly. I talked to a few and one woman told me that the sand paintings were all made of locally collected pigments, taken from various rocks. This was amazing as they were so colorful. I ended up buying one (a depiction of a pot – unique from the other more traditional designs) for $15 as well as a magnet. I have a magnet for a number of my destinations now. It would forever remind me of the irony of the situation – a meaningless monument set up and run by Native Americans for white people to show them the lines they drew in the dirt for their states. I mean whoever thought of that was genius. Props to them!

It was sweltering and hot and I was hungry so I tried some “fried bread.” Turns out that this was just the local way of saying fried dough, which is fine. It marked the end of my fried food tour. I was eating it with cinnamon and sugar in the car when I heard a knock on the window. I looked up and there was a guy that I swear to God looked like the father on one of those crappy 80’s sitcoms, Family Ties, I think. Anyway, that’s aside the point..

“What town?” He said without even coming up with a proper greeting. I recognized his Yankee accent. He was either from New Hampshire or Vermont. Since there was a moment of confused silence the man repeated his question and I answered.. Turns out he was from Bennington Vermont and had been traveling for 16 years. He told me about the book Travelling on a Shoestring and a number of locations I could check out including Monument Valley, just an hour down that road there.

I ended up taking his advice and good thing or else I would have missed Valley of the Gods which would become one of my favorite destinations.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 31, 2011 0

Roswell New Mexico

I ended up in Roswell New Mexico because I’m just that fucking adorkable. I didn’t expect to see much but apparently main street has turned into an adorable alien mecca. There are clothes stores there who have alien masks fixed on their dummies and doleful looking wooden alien statues sitting out on the side walk. There was even one place who had little green alien footsteps running up the sidewalk. People had constructed their own little crashed UFOs and gift stores abounded. There was also a museum, however like most small towns everything closed at 6 and I drove in at 7. Only one gift store was open so I checked it out and awed at all the cuteness and fluff and geekery. It was too much – I had to come home with something. I ended up with a T-shirt reading, “fly it like you stole it.” That amused me way too much. I also ended up with a bumper sticker reading, “Buckle up, it makes it harder for them to suck you out of the car.” I mean… how cute is that?

I left laughing. It was such a dorky place to stop but so amusing. Even the local McDonalds was sporting aliens on their advertising and their parking lot and the bank as well! I like to see a town with a sense of humor.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 30, 2011 0

Congress Bat Bridge – Austin Texas

Congress Bridge is the home to the largest urban bat community in the world and every night four and a half million of the little beasties come flying out to fetch dinner. I battled the sun trying to get there before the big event. I parked a half mile away believing this was such an attraction there couldn’t possibly be any place closer. As it turns out there is a parking lot right next to the bridge that is pretty much for the bat people who gather every night. You have to get there early though because it was full.

I was thrilled to see people of all types walking towards the bridge and gathering both on the bridge and under it in a little park. I went under it and picked a spot on the grass to sit and wait. As dawn drew in a handful of bats, maybe 20 or so all together, started to file out one at a time, swooping down towards the crowd. After a few more bats came out the crowd suddenly got up and left. I wanted to stay and keep watching because the cacophony of squeaking was still overwhelming. More people left until there were perhaps ten people under the bridge still. I’d been having trouble with the camera which didn’t like the night photography. I got up to take a closer look and walked to the end of the bridge… now this is where all the action is! If you go to watch the bats go to the fence bordering the water. The bats were coming out of that little area like water, thousands of them swooping by in seconds. The people above this one particular location were also getting a show, and the only people left on the bridge. We walked up there and watched awhile too. It was amazing. I can’t believe how many of the little boogers were still pouring out. It made me so happy to watch them. I didn’t really think I’d get that much of a kick out of it but how cool is that, that these bats are living, in the millions, under a bridge, in the middle of a huge city, and people are gathering in support of them? It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I was practically skipping back to the car.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 28, 2011 0

Old Spring Town Texas

So I decided to go to Houston because there was a store there called The Little Dutch Girl and a pet shop I’d found. I went to the Little Dutch Girl first, because buying one of those might be useful. Just kidding! Don’t buy children, it’s wrong. Anyway, it was situated in the middle of this little strip mall called Old Towne Spring. It was adorable. They had a little German shop, a little Dutch shop, and across from them was The Texan Shop, like “HEY! YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE LOCALS!”

I entered the Little Dutch Girl and was greeted first by a whole wall full of licorice. This I’ll never understand. I can’t imagine any licorice could possibly taste different from another. It’s really fowl stuff… but then there was a small section that went to dry foods and a little fridge with cheese. The rest of the shop was touristy things… wooden shoes, windmills, and blue chinaware.

Today I was looking for candy flakes, the kind you put on toast. I don’t know what they are really called, but they are these little flavored flakes you put on bread and eat. I got some chocolate and some fruit flavored and couldn’t pass up the Stroopwafels. It’s really funny because I decided after eating one that my own home-made versions somehow had surpassed this. Perhaps because I spent four months perfecting an intensely simple recipe.

When the woman at the register rung up these choices she smiled in a sort of strange way, perhaps reflecting on the fact these were odd items, not usually bought by tourists but rather by someone whose eaten them before. I guess I’ll never know.

There was a little German shop next to the little Dutch shop (surprise surprise.) It was cute, though it didn’t please the realists here. Apparently nut crackers, cuckoo clocks, and everything else here wasn’t actually a German thing… I couldn’t care less… As far as I am concerned Germans had me at, “Hey look! An ADORABLE roundy car that allows you to punch people!” Funny enough there wasn’t any VW memorabilia. Shame.

I stopped at a little fried food place. Out of morbid curiosity I got a fried Snickers bar. The fried Snickers bar was rather disappointing. The melty gooey part was wonderful, the batter wasn’t so much. I had to peel it off like I do my fried fish.

I left after this but appreciated this artistic and adorable little enclave of creative spirits, where people walked around wearing full jeans and sweaters as I melted into a puddle.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 28, 2011 0

Branson Missouri

You know how much of a sucker I am for “World’s Largest Whatevers.” Today it was World’s Largest Banjo because why not? When in Rome (or Missouri…)

So I ended up, for some odd reason, driving through Branson Missouri. It was such a weird thing, like driving through the Twilight Zone. I couldn’t tell what was reality anymore. On every nook and cranny of the city there was some sort of fantasy tourist trap… Go golfing with pirates! Go to an indoor water park! Elvis, Elvis, Elvis, oh my god, look! More Elvis! What was up with all the Elvis stuff? And the Old West mock-ups? And the Indiana Jones stuff? And the themed restaurants? This place was creepy, and didn’t have that many people in it. It was strange. The amusement park stood still, the two outdoor water parks stood dry. It was just creepy. “Where am I? Did I just re-enter the 80’s?” I never did find that damn Banjo…

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!

May 27, 2011 0