Big Chicken Barn Books [and Antiques] – Ellesworth Maine

I was super happy that during this trip to Maine I remembered soemthing on my bucket list and we actually made it. Not only that it seemed catered to exactly what we were looking for – books, and antiques.

I have passed this place so many times but I didn’t recognize it with new siding this time around! It’s starting to look a lot less like a refurbished industrial chicken coop which is what it is. The area was known for being a large producer of chicken eggs for several decades but most have gone out of business since then which has left a smattering of these huge coops just gathering dust and decaying. It’s really refreshing to see someone use it for something else!

And let me tell you this place was huuuuuuuge. The whole bottom was all antiques of every kind and the top was completely dedicated to books and other media. Just thousands upon thousands of them. You could absolutely get lost up there.

Central Maine Antique Mall – Bangor

After Fort Knox we both felt like the day wasn’t over yet so we set out to find some antique stores. The first one we stopped at was the Central Maine Antique Exchange. We had half an hour before it closed so our visit was abrupt but not bad. This place was sizable but not enormous – a good collection with the usual mix of haunted dolls, inexplicable buckets of doll parts, and of course a light smattering of offensively racist things – I think the winner of that went to a rubber doll named “Chief Wahoo.” It wasn’t all bad though – there was also a HUGE bucket labelled “peanut butter chips” and a lot of nice artwork on the walls. I don’t know if I would really go out of my way to see this place again buuuut I would stop in if you just happen to be in Bangor.

Cambridge Antique Market – Cambridge MA

It was yet another day and yet another antique store. I know we’ve been hitting a lot of those lately but it’s hot outside at this time of year so I tend to run for the shade. This time it was at the Cambridge Antique Market which was 5 whole floors of weirdness.

I wasn’t in the most receptive of moods knowing that Cambridge is basically parking purgatory filled with empty parallel parking spots because there’s signs with super conflicting information wafting above each space confusing the ever-loving shit out of even the locals. You’ll see cars driving around and around the block for hours because there’s also not enough spaces to go around. It’s a nightmare. The antique mall was fortunate in that it had a parking lot but it was tiny, shoved between the building and some fences, big enough for maybe 10-15 cars. The front part was full so I had to go to the even tinier back bit which had parking so tight and bizarrely shaped it’d take me a 300 point turn to eventually get out. But parking drama aside this was another delightful adventure.

We had chosen this local for it’s size. It was in another mill building and sprawled out for five whole floors with who knows how many different vendors, each a new chance to find something crazy or wonderful. We’d been in a car a long time though and I had to pee so I tried to find the bathroom right off and it was… a whole separate adventure. They had an old one stall bathroom that felt like the light should be flickering. The lock on the door was this tiny antiquated dead bolt that barely aligned with the door and I was more than a little amused that they had tried to add a little class by using toilet paper with frills. I’ve never seen anything like it! It was like using a doyly! I washed my hands with their fittingly super fragrant soap and hopped out as quick as I could. This adventure was followed by getting into an elevator that could be the whole set for a horror movie any day.

But all the endearing architecture aside this place was packed full and there was a lot to find. There were the usual assortment of haunted dolls (this time featuring an old lady marionette!) deranged Buddhas, terrifying paper mâché masks, weird novelty postcards showing a woman riding a giant grasshopper, boxes and boxes of instant ancestor photos, cannibalistic looking horses, likely serial killer clowns, a smoking bunny, a boot with Chewbacca’s face on the heel, and sooo many freaky cookie jars! I mean just hundreds of them scattered about like tinker tape. We must have been in there a couple hours – time having completely evaporated.

Yes – this was a win. A really wonderful find and I would completely suggest it to all my eccentric friends.

G’s Treasures – Used Furniture & Antiques – Deep River Connecticut

It was one of those days we wanted to go to a familiar haunt so we ended up at Gilette Castle and spent some time enjoying life there before coming home. We had time to spare though and didn’t feel our adventures were quite over so we kept an eye open to antique stores that may be on route and that’s how we ended up at G’s Treasures.

It was a sweet little store right off the street front. I even parallel parked for it! Well… sorta. There were 3 open spaces and just drove in but I’m still counting that because I need a win. ANYWAY, this place was adorable. It was tended to by a young guy who upon reading my companion’s T-shirt “Ninja Turtles don’t do drugs” snickered, “Maybe, but the guy drawing them sure did!” I don’t know if he understood it was supposed to be ironic but I was enjoying his youthfully enthusiastic energy nonetheless.

This shop was well maintained and had everything from antique furniture to a whole double wide case of old wooden duck decoys. Of course, I was immediately drawn to a rum thing(??) that looked like a soulless Pilgrim with no eyes. Touch the dark side, I dare you. There were lots of other scary things in there too – a stuffed duck that could inspire its own horror movie, a mannikin head with a giraffe neck, a cookie jar in the shape of a fat friar and of course more clowns and a single mammie doll that was tucked away in a dark corner all hidden and coy-like.

I sort of feel bad wandering through all these antique stores because I barely have money for gas much less buying anything and usually leave whatever cool things I find behind. A total tease. Today however one of my travel companions had claimed a couple shinies (necklaces) off a jewelry table to satisfy his “magpie brain.” And they were very reasonably priced at ten dollars a pop! So really everyone left happy.

And if you happen to be in the area looking for lunch there’s plenty of options but we went right next door to Deep River Pizza and all got various wraps and grinders which were all goddamn amazing. So well worth it!

Sturbridge Antiques – Sturbridge Massachusetts

We had initially set out to go to a different antique store somewhat nearby but since none of us were capable of reading opening hours on the internet or the signs on the door we arrived to a completely dead complex. Closed except for weekends. Undeterred we asked the Google Gods and they said we should try Sturbridge Antiques so off we went!

They’re coming for you…

I was happy to find it seemed to be a decently sized building but when we first entered it was a little unnerving. This place seemed swank, maybe just an eensy bit out of all our price ranges. However, this was just the front of the store. There were over 80 dealers here and I must say this place had some of the weirdest most lovably eccentric antiques ever. Obviously, this started with a small alligator skin trunk labelled “doll trunk” that had all sorts of cool compartments. And the dolls… this was THE most doll infested antique store and every one of them was creepier than the last. I was THRILLED. Just two dolls in and we came across these beauties straight out of someone’s deepest nightmares:

I thought there couldn’t be anything more hair raising than those little beasties but I was delighted to find that just around the corner the dolls started getting decidedly more terrifying. Because the only thing creepier than a potentially haunted doll is a basket full of doll heads and a few limbless torsos spread about. There was even a disembodied doll head that had three faces. And if that wasn’t bad enough there were clown dolls and whole circuses to accompany them. They even had monkey dolls attached to what looked like torture devices (which I think probably allowed them to do flips or something.) And this was the first time I ever found a deflated rubber doll! Creepy! Eventually I even found an old cardboard photo depicting a family in a living room with a dastardly doll walking across the floor seemingly on it’s own, no one batting an eye. Meanwhile I found myself once again playing What’s the Most Racist Thing You Can Find with a new participant this week and low and behold the dolls got in on this too as there were mammie dolls spread like confetti through a great number of booths. And this place seemed to keep going and going and going…

I was on a mission to find some marbles because I have been told I need to “start doing the marble thing again” where I take photos of marbles on the trails that I review for this blog and leave them there in the hopes whoever finds them will find a little joy in it. I haven’t done this in ever – mostly because pretty marbles are hard to find! But most antique stores usually do have jars full marbles next to their jars full of mismatched buttons. We did find one big mason jar full for $18. I held out because they were mostly cats eye and I really favor the solid colored ones. Eventually though we came across a stash of “uranium marbles.” What the…? You mean someone thought radioactive marbles were a good idea?? Yes. After a quick consult with my phone I learned that when uranium is mixed with glass it can be used to make marbles that fluoresce under the black light. Intrigued I took a little baggy of them to play with later.

Other fun finds were a porcelain violin that looked like it could actually play, a children’s accordion, TONS of ladies hats (probably more than even dolls!) a glowing radium clock, a mange-addled teddy bear, a cool homemade marble slide that looked like it was 100 years old, a trove of nice fur coats, a goodly smattering of fancy hand mirrors, entirely too many nightmare inducing clowns, and a weirdly lecherous Buddha. By the end of the day we awarded a cast iron piggy bank as being the most racist piece in the shop and we were gleefully taking pictures of it when the woman working the counter burbled we could take as many photos as we wanted. She was really sweet and rang up my marbles after a 20 minute detour to play with what was clearly a haunted ventriloquist dummy. He was $45 and came REALLY close to coming home with me but he had no hands or feet and the mechanism to make his mouth move was busted and I have been having some insane problems with mice lately so I was hesitant to purchase anything I’d have to keep safe as it were. Still…. he was so perfect. Even came with his own little coffin for some reason.

This antique store was super fun. I would definitely go again. My only complaint was that later on when I got home I put my marbles next to a black light and they didn’t glow at all. They were just regular marbles. And I was sad. But maybe another visit for a haunted ventriloquist dummy could solve that…

Countryside Consignments & Antiques – Hope Rhode Island

After somehow managing to escape alive from cookies shop antiques we decided to move on and see if we couldn’t land something better. And so after a quick consultation with the Google gods we ended up driving to Countryside Consignments. Before we were even there I was yelling at the GPS, “BULLSHIT. There isn’t an antique store .2 miles away, this is a residential neighborhood!” And a nice one at that! But it was true, there in what used to be a house was a swank little antique store filled to the brim with lovely furniture I’ll never be able to afford. All of it finely polished and without a single scratch. You’ll have to take my word for this because still reeling from the trauma that was Cookies I apparently forgot to take any photos of said furniture. Instead only stopping momentarily to dig a giant bucket of fine silverware and yet another creepy Easter bunny.

But anyway… if you happen to be looking for great antique furniture this is the place to go.

Cookie Shop Antique Store – Exeter Rhode Island

Since we were already antiquing we decided to move on from Jules Antiques and find another little shop nearby. That’s how we ended up at Cookie’s. Now, just to be clear, not all of my adventures end up somewhere magical, sometimes we just end up in these weird little places that smell of electricity and feel like you’ve entered the Twilight Zone.

Cookie’s was like that. It was a ramshackle little place with parking for a handful of cars. When we drove up we immediately noticed a big sign reading, “cookies” over an open barn door. It was dark and it didn’t seem like there was anyone around. We both wondered if this wasn’t some sort of trap and if we weren’t about to bumble into some serial killing mastermind just beyond, you know like whoever drives around the big black van that reads, “free candy.” This place reminded me a lot of central and northern Maine. It was for all intent and purposes a glorious junk shop – the kind any hoarder would be proud. As we walked into the barn we realized there was barely any place to walk. From floor to ceiling there was junk piled high and even hanging. Random. Strange. Often totally useless crap. We still scrambled through what we thought were isles before they too ended abruptly at a total impasse. Towards the window there was a selection of pretty bottles and lamp I was only halfway convinced wasn’t made of human skin.

Walking further we got into the actual shop and it was cramped and had that familiar smell of musk and mildew. There were two other customers, and we couldn’t get by them. Everyone except one guy and the woman running the place seemed vibrantly uncomfortable as we stared down at boxes full of VHS tapes, none of them anything good or memorable. And who the hell is buying VHS tapes?! We stayed long enough to be weirded out by the male customer who was obviously a familiar in this haunt. He seemed off. Maybe he was trying to woo the missus. Who knows.

As we beat it to the car (sans cookies as there wasn’t a baked good within miles) we giggled what an experience that had been. For me it did bring back many memories of the junk shops in Maine as well as a number of hoarders I have had the *ahem* privilege of visiting. And don’t get me wrong junk shops can be surprising. Sometimes you find some crazy things in them for a few cents. It’s always a complete toss up but if I were to ever find a forgotten million dollar painting it’d probably be in a place like this sitting next to a pile of dog chewed rubber duckies.

Jules Antiques & General Store – Richmond Rhode Island

We’ve been really getting into the antiquing lately, mostly because it’s like a little treasure hunt. We go to strange new locations and we never know what we are going to find. On this particular day this spirit was especially strong. We started in Richmond at the Jules Antiques and General Store, picked at random by the fact the photos made it look large enough to be worth combing through. We weren’t disappointed!

This was the perfect place to go on a hot summer’s day. The parking lot was vast for such a place which is always a good sign, and the building was no shrinking violet either. Several other people had already had the great idea to come here today and right after getting out of the car I was already enamored by the decrepit stagecoach rotting off to the side.

Inside it was a well-organized place with lots of different nooks and crannies and I am guessing different venders. We were greeted almost immediately by the strange cartoonish head of a moose on the wall. It wasn’t long before I had toppled into the strange and morbid when I found a Lizzie Borden themed paper doll book. I guess it’s good fun for the locals… to add to our macabre little jump rope rhymes about poor Lizzie. But it didn’t stop there. This place was absolutely swarming with terrifying Easter bunnies hidden in every little crevice, their soulless eyes staring into the void. We even found a Halloween skeleton dressed up as Uncle Sam! Fun for all the holidays (especially if you only want to shop for decorations once.) There was also the usual assortment haunted dolls and evil Donald Duck statues. A more endearing find was a rooster shaped glug glug jug! If I lived in the sort of place it wouldn’t be immediately broken I probably would have taken that sucker home with me. I also didn’t end up bringing home any of the dolls. I’m looking for just the right one. Preferably one that giggles at three in the morning as it’s rearranging the living room furniture.

Rhode Island Antique Mall – Pawtucket RI

I know I have written about the Rhode Island Antique Mall before, several times in fact, but I continue to blog about it because there’s always something new to find here no matter how often we go or with whom. It’s always a fun little adventure!

This time around we were a group of four just poking at random things on both floors. As usual there was a delightful assortment of what I can only kindly call “folk art” of strange badly formed animals. And of course what antique store isn’t complete with at least a couple paintings that look like they could be totally haunted? It was light on the soul-sucking dolls on this particular day but what it lacked in that department it made up for in vintage Victorian porn which was everywhere. There was even a weirdly homoerotic postcard of presidents Lincoln and Washington in a seemingly forced embrace. Was this… the beginning of slash fanfiction?? We may never know. What I do know is that the speculum on display in our last visit seems to have been sold, luckily not with the Cat O’ Nine Tails that was next to it. That would have concerned me that there may be a serial killer in the area if they both sold to the same person.

At one point myself and one other in the party decided to play Racially Insensitive Bingo and we browsed to see the most offensive antiques we could find, marking off our imaginary cards with each ethnicity. It wasn’t long before we found something godawful for everyone… a wine corkscrew in the form of a faceless black figure (which got double points for also being sexually offensive,) some cigar-based paraphernalia with the familiar Indian chief, lots of literally yellow slant-eyed Chinamen, and for added flavor a few Gypsy fortune tellers. I don’t know why anyone in this day and age would want to touch any of these things with a ten-foot pole but OK…

All and all it was another great trip and I still highly recommend this place if you like wandering through isles of creepy old things. And the turn over is shockingly high making each trip a new experience!

Aardvark Antiques – Newport Rhode Island

I can’t tell you how many times I have driven by Aardvark Antiques, saw the big lions out front, and made a note to go there without ever making it. It’s one of those things – you know, a thing in town you just keep putting off because it’s so close.

Finally, the intrigue got the better of us and we decided we’d take a little poke at it. Nothing could have prepared us for what was beyond the big wrought iron gates. There in a small yard was a fascinating array of outdoor statuary. Some concrete, for those of us who aren’t dropping a trail of gold coins like a goblin, and others were bronze for those of us who really are. A life size bronze stallion galloped in place with a sort of intense realism. He demanded a $22,000 price tag. But if stallions weren’t your thing there were also an assortment of Grecco-Roman styled statues, a few dragons, a herd of African Safari animals, some creepy children, and two giant dancing frogs for anyone who was both rich and quirky.

Inside was even more interesting. This place was packed from floor to ceiling with just about anything to delight any eccentrics in the area. On the wall a giant moose head glowered down at us. The ceiling formed a canopy of random hanging things – everything from bicycles, to chandeliers, to a life-sized angel being lowered down from the heavens. It was almost like if the Catholic Church had a junkyard of antiquities. Moving on we came to a whole room full of stained-glass windows clearly from churches. Some were just ornate and colorful while others displayed whole religious scenes.

The furniture in this place all looked like it’d been freshly imported from some castle on Game of Thrones. Crazy heavy carved wooden chairs, tables, and writing desks played among smaller items that ranged in all categories. There was even a cabinet full of what looked like medieval Jesus paintings. And a lot of Asian pieces as well. It felt like getting lost in a bit of a time warp. Should I ever find myself a wealthy eccentric I’m coming back and just pointing at things to load into the truck! This was well worth the visit!

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