Brimfield Antique Center – Brimfield MA

Since our trip to the Brimfield Antique Fair went so poorly we decided to just go during the non-fair season and see what the actual antique stores have. The entire area is littered with them. We started with the most obviously titled – the Brimfield Antique Center. It was super easy to get to and despite the GPS trying to get me to hurl it full force out the window by making me take uselessly painful detours, we got there just fine. As expected it was kind of swank, mostly everything in sight was behind glass in big cases. Lots and lots and lots of dolls, clowns, pretty dishware, and even two very ornate masquerade masks which intrigues me greatly. Even so I found the pricing on the few items I looked at to be very decent. I was expecting highway robbery if I’m honest.

We ended up very distracted looking through a bunch of excellent condition vinyls. Among them was a Canadian pressed album of Phil Ochs last concert where he was rumored to have lost his mind and showed up dressed as a glittery Elvis to do Elvis covers rather than his usual political folk musings. I had no idea this concert was even recorded… to find it here on vinyl for a mere $15 was mind-blowing. I took it and cannot wait to listen to it! I mean… Phil Ochs doing Elvis… that’s so fucking weird! And in addition to this I scored a perfect condition It’s a Beautiful Day self-titled album which I have never seen go for under $35 for 10 bucks! I looked it up online and it seems there’s a totally mental price range between $40-299 for this album which is why I wasn’t finding it anywhere else for this cheap. What’s the difference? No idea! But I do know I love this album and always wanted it on vinyl so go me! To be honest I could have bought more. They had a great selection.

Even better when I went to pay for my treasure I got to talking to the cashier about how I’d just driven two hours to get to Brimfield and she very graciously gave us a whole list of other nearby antique shops to check out! So sweet!

Clinton Antique Center – Clinton CT

We’ve been to the Clinton Antique Center before but it was such a large place that it was worth another visit a few months later. And this time didn’t disappoint!

If you read about my previous visit you may remember this place as the antique center where I found a booth FULL of Nazi shit. Like real Nazi things used by actual Nazis probably during World War II. You may be happy to note that although it looks like the same dealer may be selling in his usual booth all the Nazi shit was gone. Hopefully because of public backlash because that level of bad mojo shouldn’t just be hanging out in public spaces. There was however still a whole booth dedicated to racist black memorabilia just around the corner which had one of the most heinous prints I’ve ever seen of a little black boy screaming as a goose clamps down on his most tender of bits which apparently were through a glory hole?! Now this says nothing about black people but the needless sexualization of a SMALL BOY as well as the flagrant racism says much more about the artist! WHAT A CREEPY ASS OLD MAN HE MUST HAVE BEEN. Good riddance.

But really this shop had a lot less offensive material than in previous visits. Most of it this time seemed to be directed at indigenous Americans. You know Indian rubber pull dolls and cigar statues and whatnot. There was also a lot of fun stuff like – a fox who seemed delighted to be taxidermied, a boar head that looked like it was used for testing cosmetics before being put on someone’s wall, a CAST IRON BICYCLE which must have been so fun to ride, many many creepy clowns, a lot of dolls giving an obscene amount of side-eye, and of course a whole bookshelf of books that had titles which aged very badly. Every one of them was a modern innuendo and I was in stitches going through them starting with Scouts in Bondage, Wooden Willie, and Memorable Balls. Seriously, if I lived in a place large enough for a bookshelf or a coffee table I would have been on these like shivers on a Chihuahua. Just hilarious.

It was well worth the revisit! And I am very happy they pulled the Nazi bullshit off the shelves. If that is to be sold at all it should be under great suspicion behind the scenes.

Brimfield Antique Fair – Brimfield MA

Brimfield MA is known throughout New England as hosting the largest antique fair in the area and they do it three times a year – once in spring, once during the summer, and once during autumn, each time lasting about a week. And these fairs are serious – they are HUGE. Basically a good chunk of main street (all lined with antique shops) turns the entire area into one giant open-air market with literally hundreds of vendors. Every conceivable space that’s not being used for selling is turned into a giant Byzantine parking lot and even so… it’s hard to find parking when it’s busy.

I’ve been to Brimfield before and knew it was something you take a whole day to do. I have been wanting to go back for years now but have never managed to get someone to go with me and it’s one of those things I’d rather share than go alone to because it is such an experience. So I was happy when a few weeks ago my companion brought it up. This year I wouldn’t forget and I wouldn’t go in summer (in the miserable heat!)

We woke up late that day and honestly I was expecting to spend the day looking for a dentist so I didn’t really try to wake up early but instead of this my companion really wanted to go somewhere so I laid out two options – Brimfield which was two hours away or an abandoned fort that was 15 minutes away. The fair closes at 5 and with two hours of driving that was only two hours to spend there. I once again said it was a HUGE event and said maybe we’d better go the next day but no, he was all charged to go on Tuesday. So off we went.

The weather was PERFECT and I was very excited to finally be going. I wanted to see if I could find any terrifying medical antiques (not that I can afford them) and just have a generally good day. It’d been so long since I had been there that I had forgotten about the parking situation. By the time I drove up we were already running out of time and I passed all the parking lots (as many had “full” and “closed” signs out and the ones that didn’t also didn’t look promising.) I drove one mile an hour through the whole fair in a row of traffic as people who were completely unafraid of cars just walked in front of them whenever! I had to turn around and seek parking somewhat outside of the festivities for a cheaper $10. The lots more centrally located were $20. The sight of all the people and everything going on immediately sent my companion into a downward spiral of overwhelm. It wasn’t a great start.

However, we were successful at finding parking (there were TWO spaces left) and we went on our merry way. The one great thing about the Brimfield antique fair that has nothing to do with antiques is all the food trucks. They’re everywhere and make spending the day there a lot more pleasant. I could smell fried dough (which I really wanted – but couldn’t figure out who had it) and I found the lemonade stand that uses real lemons that is SO GOOD in summer heat. We started to wanter into the back end of the antique fair and look around and without even going far we found this fabulous orange couch I totally fell in love with and the usual parade of probably haunted dolls – two of them were even anatomically correct baby dolls. (Just why??) There were also marbles up the wazoo!

Sadly, nothing I picked up was marked with a price. Not the marbles, not the cool rock skulls I thought would make a nice fish tank decoration, not the partially hidden Tupperware tub FULL of racist bullshit, not the odd rusted out farming implements, not the possessed dolls… and I know if something isn’t marked it’s too expensive for me. Some of the vendors were also missing in action which didn’t really help matters. By now my companion had gone from overwhelm to shutdown as his toothache became too much to bear. I rescued him from an old hippie vendor who was trying to talk to him as I chatted happily with other vendors. And it’s weird. I used to come to these things HATING the social aspect of it but today I was really enjoying the chit chat.

We wandered back and forth with no sense of direction for only an hour or so before heading back to the car, having seen only the tiniest bit of the fair. We had stayed only long enough to see some truly bizarre art, some odd ideas of lawn ornamentation, and the closest thing to a medical antique I could ask for – a poster of the spine for chiropractic usage. I never did get my fried dough but it’s probably for the better. By the time I got done driving 2 hours home a migraine had set in and I was exhausted – but still happy I went! And as usual I can’t wait to go again.

Fairfield Antique Mall – Fairfield Maine

We were on our way back home when I decided on a whim to take the exit to Fairfield and check out what was advertised to be the largest antique mall in Maine. When I drove in I immediately recognized the place but it took until we got inside for my companion to do so as well. In a previous trip up to these parts we had managed to stop by a mere half an hour before closing so only got to scratch the surface of this delightful iceberg. But today we had a few hours to spare!

And so we walked into what was indeed a huge antique mall filled with vendors of every kind. It was so big in fact that we quickly lost track of each other as I lagged behind mucking about with some wax cylinders. There was a whole swarm of them and I was intrigued. But he was ahead of me and ventured into the basement before I knew where he was headed and I ended up going upstairs. We’d eventually meet up again but it was amusing to see what different things we saw and what caught both of our attention.

Before we separated we found an “apple doll” which is I guess a doll whose head is a whole dried apple? Only thing was this apple was from 1960 and had LONG since gone off. The little rotted core was all that was left and the doll’s dress I am sure wasn’t covered in blood stains but boy did it look like it was! We both declared this terrifying item cursed and refused to touch it. And that wasn’t the only terrifying doll. This place was loaded! In fact I found a basket labelled, “Basket of creepy dolls $30” in the basement and almost fell for it. I took a photo of the most cracked little baby face and wandered off to think about whether or not I wanted to take it, the torched corpse of another baby doll, and the various other parts in that basket home. What stopped me? Probably the fact the basket MOVED in the 15 minutes I wandered off. Was in a totally different spot in the booth! Uhmmmm…. OK, so I love creepy dolls but I draw a line with the ones that move on their own.

The rest of the shop had all kinds of fun finds – chickens galore! And rusty signs, and odd artifacts, probably haunted paintings and prints, weird books, clowns on parade, and old food cannisters from god knows when. Oh, and possibly the most offensive minstrel poster we’ve ever found. I think that one won the category for Most Racist Shit We’ve Ever Found [black] To Date. On my own I also found The Most Racist Shit We’ve Ever Found [Indigenous American.] It was a painting of a Native American, clad only in loin cloth, warming himself next to a fire, a pompously dressed Englishman behind him looking down like “this poor dumb savage” with the caption “Doh Wah Jack Heap Warm.” Shame I don’t get any prizes for this HORRIBLE game we play. I am happy to note the amount of racist bullshit here was actually pretty light, it was just what was here was pretty intense.

The rest of the shop had something for everyone. There were a few victrolas, some retro tourist things, lots of chickens, some rusty signs, a great deal of well-done taxidermy, a taxidermied bobcat that looked… not like a bobcat. That’s not to mention the pottery, weird books, beautiful glass, and Victrola and vinyl records everywhere! I would have brought home a sealed Badfinger album but I didn’t have $40 on me. I guess it would have been worth flipping… maybe next time! My companion did come home with a fidget. He says it’s a zippo but it’s grainy in texture and impossible not to play with sooo…. one man’s zippo is another man’s fidget.

Anyway, this was a lot of fun, took us quite a while to work through, and I would definitely go again.

Elmer’s Barn Antiques – Cooper’s Mills Maine

In desperate need of a change of scenery we loaded up our bags and the cat and set off for the great state of Maine to watch a blizzard and go antique shopping afterwards. It was a break everyone needed in their souls and the antique stores didn’t disappoint!

The first one we ended up at was Elmer’s Barn in Cooper’s Mills Maine. We ended up there after stopping briefly into a favorite haunt Hussy’s General Store which was less than ten minutes away. Sadly, they did not have any Bigfoot pillows so we left to meander our way to the antique store to satiate our desire for strange things.

I’d never been to Elmer’s Barn but it boasted of four floors of the unique and unusual and the parking lot seemed to agree with this stance. There were random weird large artifacts scattered around and a cluster of hens with their gorgeous rooster just chilling at the entrance, pecking around, doing chicken things. Their eggs were on sale inside. Now that – I could really support. Love me some random free-range chickens!

Inside the first thing I noticed was in various nooks and corners there were terrifying taxidermy in little hats. Why? Because why not. A penguin, a gopher, an ermine, a caribou, and even a bear. That was a good start!

Obviously, it was a great place to continue playing my two favorite antique store games trying to find the creepiest dolls and the most racist bullshit we could muster. This place was unique because in addition to a very light smattering of minstrel-y black memorabilia there was also a suuuuper antisemitic print hanging on the wall. This would be a first for me. Antisemitism is definitely a thing but weirdly in the US it’s not really immediately apparent in any media like the mammie dolls and such are. This form of bigotry seems more reliant on coded language and conspiracy theories than visual representations. You know… “lizard people” running the government and Jewish space lasers…. truly batshit things.

Funny enough the other racist artifacts were mostly hidden and there weren’t many of them although I did find the most unique mammie to date. Her head lifted to reveal she functioned as a creamer! When I was done poking at that I moved on to the dolls… there was a nice variety of creepy dolls. And better still everything I picked up seemed very decently priced. I ended up bringing home two metal car banks from the 1970’s for $10 and $15 and two big hardcover volumes of National Geographic spanning several months in 1918 and 1920. I don’t know anything about them but they sure were interesting! And humbling… to see a whole volume dedicated to how the only World War was finally over… followed by a long article about how to racially profile various European ethnic groups… I’m sure that didn’t cause any problems later on. *COUGH COUGH* Meanwhile my companion took a fancy to $10.50 worth of Disney merchandise. He grew up in the middle classes which seem to really dig that stuff. I grew up poor in the woods with a bunny ear TV, three channels, and a mother who’d tell us to go play outside if we were bored. As such I have shockingly little references to anything Disney but I enjoy his passion nonetheless and was in full support of this purchase.

After this we had to wade through a GREAT DEAL of mud to get back to the car and I may have completely caked my new kicks and bellbottoms. SIGH. All and all it was a wonderful excursion and I have added it to my list of placed to check out again.

Route 18 Antiques Mall – Lakeville MA

This antique store was a little different than our usual fair. It was super easy to find in a little plaza right off the highway. It was of moderate size and seemed to have more a thrift store feel to it. Like it wanted to be an antique store, and it did have some old stuff, but at least 40% of that was just outdated somewhat recent technology and entertainment. You know, the place to get your CDs and VHSs.

And initially it was kind of sweet and grandmotherly but then we started coming across the most racist shit we’ve found to date. First, I found an old Raggedy Anne and Andy children’s book with a mamie doll blatantly taking up the whole cover. Obviously, I had to paw over that and make my own judgements. The book was $15 and falling apart with every breath but I am glad I flipped through it because in the middle there was an absolutely terrifying illustration that sure looked like a lot like that same mamie doll drowning a clown in the sink. Now I’m not saying that’s what’s actually going on but damn, that’s what it looks like to me! I admit I almost bought it just so I could frame that one page and hang it up as a conversation starter. The only thing that stopped me was the fact it was super racist in addition to being morbidly hilarious.

But that was nothing. At some point we rounded a corner and in a glass display case was the most racist thing I have ever seen. Keep in mind in previous adventures we have seen hundreds of mamie dolls, dozens of super racist ad posters, Chinamen saltshakers, troubling depictions of American Indians, gypsy fortune tellers, but this… this took the cake. It was anti-Japanese. A magazine from World War II with a pinch-eyed and jaundiced chimpanzee wearing a swastika on the cover. Even worse it was placed rather carelessly next to a symbol clashing monkey. We both gasped. And then took photos to prove we’d actually seen such a thing.

Hilariously we accidentally ended up back at this store two or three weeks later and we had to go check in on that insane magazine. SOMEONE BOUGHT IT. I kid you not, it was gone!! The dilapidated mamie doll book was still there though — case you still need a good dose of racism.

Taunton Antique Center – Taunton MA

The Taunton Antique Center was another one of those crazy surprising stores that just kept going and going and going. Initially we thought it was just a modestly sized furniture based antique store off a main street because when you enter that’s all you see and it looks like that’s all there is. But once you start moving further in you realize the beautiful furniture is just one room and there’s a back room full of little things behind glass and then another room off to the side that leads into an absolute labyrinth. There were hallways and nooks, a whole section dedicated to thrift store type things and a basement that just didn’t quit. Really something for everyone!!

It was like the character of the store itself kept warping and moving as we travelled deeper into it. This place was very charismatic and absolutely INFESTED with terrifying antique horses of all shapes, sizes, and fur lengths! Some were small, some were chubby, some were big enough for a small child to ride, some had red eyes, some had soulless black holes were the eyes were supposed to go. All of them looked not quite right. And beside many there were more creepy Victorian paintings and prints – always a joy to see.

There was also a lot of chickens which made me doubly happy and even some paintings that looked medieval or at least older than the US. It was A LOT to take in. This was another one of those antique stores that could easily take up a whole afternoon and not need anything else.

New Bedford Antiques at the Cove – New Bedford MA

So, I may have been a little burned out towards the end of 2022 and I may have decided to take the month of December off as far as writing blog entries. This however does not mean I didn’t go to a bunch of antique stores and now I am left with figuring out which I went to, what was in them, and which photos go where… In case you find yourself in a similar dilemma DON’T DO THIS. And if you do make sure to at least take a photo of each’s store’s sign so you can remember. Otherwise… well… good luck.

I do however remember the New Bedford Antiques Cove. New Bedford is the former whaling capitol of the US so this huge antique store in a sprawling old mill building is chock FULL of scrimshaw. None of which I took photos of! I really don’t know why. In addition to scrimshaw there was also plenty of whale art and harpoons aplenty! In addition to this they also had a vast array of completely unrelated and probably haunted dolls and creepy paintings. Just a big old cache. This was also the first time we had come across an old wax cylinder recorder. Very neat! Probably should have been in a museum.

All and all this was another all-day adventure because of the enormity of the place. Definitely worth a little road trip to see such an assortment of different venders. Something for everyone! And if you’re into the whole whaling aspect there is a Whaling Museum in New Bedford as well.

Antiques on the Farmington – Canton CT

Antiques on the Farmington was located in an old mill – which adds so much to its charm. It was another sprawling place just oozing character. The first thing I noticed was a large amount of little wrought iron piggy banks with moving features. There was the usual clown eating coins and a poodle jumping through a hoop but my favorite was just downright bizarre. It was a small child sitting across from a dentist with a tooth in his hand and you basically fed the small child coins and it’d make it look like the dentist was pulling the tooth out of the poor dear’s mouth! Just WHY would anyone make one of these?? If I realized how cheap it was (a mere $25 – I guess no one wants a piggy bank of dental horror) I may have brought it home. Someday when I have a home of my own… well, there’s going to be a lot of conversation starters just lying about. That’s all I’m saying.

In fact everything I looked at here was super decently priced. There was a sharp scythe that was $25 and even a cricket bat for $35. I’d been looking for one of those… not because I want to play cricket but because I had a morbid curiosity having never seen one but knowing they make great rug beaters… And should I have owned a big oriental rug in need of a violent dusting it would have also come home with me. Did you know they’re rounded on one side? I did not. See, we’re learning things! And hey, if you like British antiques there was an actual pith helmet nearby. Sadly, there weren’t any tiger bite marks in it but that doesn’t mean much. Poor beastie could have slinked away from those big game hunters, you don’t know.

This place also had a lot of… creations. Folk art if you will. I LOVED the mannikin Christmas tree, all the angry chickens, the Victorian nightgown labelled “wedding dress” that looked perfect to haunt people in, the weird asparagus knickknack, and an old black and white photo of a foofy little dog labelled on the back, “Cuddles, our first dog.” HEART MELTING. That was only $2. I seriously contemplated buying it but thought it was a little weird to buy a photo of what is now a very very dead dog for whom I never met. Was super cute though.

And the best and most serendipitous part of the trip? There was a little free library right across the way. I left one of my signed books. It was meant to be.

Collinsville Antiques- New Hartford CT

Twas another rainy day when we struck out to find an antique store worth travelling to having exhausted most options in Rhode Island. To Connecticut! And maybe if it stops raining we could find a nice hike. Spoiler alert, it didn’t, and I was still having flashbacks of the flash flooding from a week previous which nearly drowned the Prius as I hydroplaned from pothole to pothole. Got to my destination by the skin of my teeth AGAIN.

BUT ANYWAY. Collinsville Antiques was chosen partially at random but really because Google searches made it look big. And worth driving the two hours there (and the two hours back… did I mention we’d run dry of local options? Thank God I have a Prius.)

It was indeed a large place – sort of bargain basement of antiques LOADED with creepy dolls including a life-sized Jester hovering over our heads ready to pounce on anyone going by – probably waiting to suck someone’s soul out or some such. He was accompanied by a six-foot Gumby doll which… in retrospect made it even more odd. But what can you expect from a place that had a life size gypsy fortune teller doll? But the weirdest doll had to be a male mammie doll. Well, technically it was a couple mammie dolls all snuggled together but one of the two was definitely a dude and I have to say I’ve never seen that before! Not that it makes it any less racist. And I have to give credit where credit is due. This was the first antique store I’ve been to where the only representations of Asians were realistic and beautiful and not squinty and offensive. Also, unlike the last place we went there was a distinct lack of Nazi propaganda. Hurrah!

But aside from the cursed dolls I also loved this place for its large assortment of antique Halloween decorations and masks. There were several booths dedicated to just this and it was kind of amazing. I love retro Halloween stuff. It’s absolutely darling. And creepy! Tis the season after all.

Other happy finds were a mold for Jell-o beans (yes, beans, I do not know why,) a user’s manual for a VW bus, and a VERY badly taxidermied iguana. From here we’d decide we hadn’t had our fill yet and we’d move on to Antiques on the Farmington not too far away.

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