Our trip to Cape Cod was one of those last-minute things where we really didn’t know what we wanted to do… so we decided to fill up our National Park Passport with stamps. That being said we ended up stopped in traffic in front of Buddha Bob’s only a little down the road from Salt Pond which was our real destination. And this place looked so bizarre that we decided right then and there it needed more investigation.
It was… a trip. WELL worth the detour! I parked in front of a Bigfoot wearing gold chains and that’s where we started. Have you ever been to a little shop that has no idea what it is? This would have been that. It was part rock shop, part lot for eccentric yard and garden ornamentation, part commissioned junk shop. As such we found everything from a pair of bronzed baby booties, to Buddhas of every conceivable size, to LOTS of pretty rocks inside, to a pair of Turkish looking marionettes (perhaps haunted!) to a rather fetching (if totally rusted) statue of Achilles. Fuck knows my Achilles heel is… Achilles himself. That’s how I ended up writing a whimsical satire about his teenage years but I digress.
Buddha Bob’s was an adventure for sure. No one quite knew what would be around each corner and to my great delight the people running the shop were just as unrepentantly weird as the shop itself. This was my kind of place. And my travel companion lucked out by buying two hematite rings for $1.88. I know in previous entries I have been a little dubious about the whole hematite ring thing but I guess it’s not so bad if each replacement is less than a dollar… This was my happiest tourist trap yet. FEEL THE WHIMSY!
“I know where I want to go this week!” “OK, where?”
“Lawrence Mass!”
“….WHY?!”
OK, so it might not be fair but my numerous run ins with Lawrence Mass haven’t left a particularly good taste in my mouth. My first time there the car stalled out in the middle of the night in front of a gas station where the cashier was happily holed up behind a bullet proof window wall. This was long before Covid so it wasn’t there for germs. The only other people around was a roving band of teenagers who looked pretty fucking rough. During another exciting detour I somehow ended up in a psychiatric waiting room in Lawrence where the people watching were… we’ll just say interesting.
So yeah, I wasn’t exactly hopping at the idea of going to Lawrence on purpose. But you know, every city has its good sides and bad sides, maybe it was time to look at it in a gentler light. Apparently there was an antique mall there. I know, the idea of an antique mall in the same vicinity as the above scenario seems preposterous but there it was… in an old mill building, sprawling for thousands of feet on several floors.
And I must admit it is kinda fun to go into a place that could be either amazing or absolutely awful. Keeps you on your toes, you know. And this place was full of surprises. First of all we kinda had a hard time finding the entrance as old mill buildings are like rat’s nests anyway. When we finally figured it out we entered to find an astonishing amount of random junk, very reminiscent of the junk shops in Maine. And then we turned a corner and found the clowns. Hundreds of them, all locked away in a display case with a few paintings spilling out into the general area. It was unnerving. And I like creepy dolls!
After this though we wound our way deeper into the mess and it started to have a healthy mix of junk store, proper antiques, local country chic crafts, and oodles of totally random things. We could have spent a week there picking. I ended up with a Janis Joplin album for $12 which made me super happy. I’d hoped to get some Christmas shopping done here but as sad as it is my family just aren’t as weird as I am and I found nothing to their tastes.
We did however go outside and across the parking lot where we were promised another floor of antiques. They had a completely different flavor. Up there we found lots of swanky furniture and a bunch of salvage items including a giant room full of doors that set off my sense of whimsy. Which one goes to Narnia and which one has a rabbit hole behind it? NOBODY KNOWS. And to make it all the more magical I found a Superman trap! I mean a phone booth. A real phone booth, complete with a phone, for only $900! Man, did that bring back memories.
All and all though this was worth the trip (even thought the GPS was being a total dick and wound me through Boston for no conceivable reason.) And hey, if you have someone who likes either junk or proper antiques this place was appropriate for gift shopping. I took lots of photos but then I lost the memory card. I guess I must have eaten it because it is goooone. Luckily I took a few cell phone snaps that I was sharing with Twitter as I was walking through so this entry won’t be completely naked.
We still had some time to kill before we had to go to the airport so for our last little adventure we decided to go to the Monocacy National Battlefield to see where some of the events we’d been reading about actually took place. I’ve never been to a battlefield so I was just expecting a big field somewhere with nothing going on… that’s not what it ended up being.
When we drove in there was indeed a big field with a few cannons set up which is exactly what I pictured but there was also a large visitor’s center. I have to admit at this point my body was DONE with me, especially my feet which were on fire. So I was hoping for a very little display to see and then beat it back to the car. However the visitor center was like a well maintained museum in it’s own right. I sat in the gift shop and talked to the cashier a while waiting for my travel companions to make use of the facilities. I just needed to sit. He seemed a friendly older gentlemen who asked the usual questions – from where had we come from? Everywhere.
When my companions returned he gave us all a huge spiel about the park. It wasn’t just this field or even the museum attached to it. The park actually owned all sorts of properties across town and if we wanted to see all the sights we had to get a little map and do a driving tour! And if we wanted there was a few hiking trails as well – one which was supposed to have a nice view of the city. I had wanted to go on a hike but right now, in the condition I was in, the thought made me want to cry.
He also told us about the National Park passports which were like mock passports you could stamp at every national park you visit. We were all intrigued so we bought one. I was too tired to comprehend anything so I merely stamped mine with one stamp and called it good while my companions stamped theirs with all four at the station and added a sticker. I still have no idea where the sticker came from but I took a pic so y’all can see what it’s supposed to look like. In any event this will give us something else to do when we get home – visit all the national parks of New England! (Of which there aren’t many but you never know where I’m going to end up so I’m OK with that.)
When we drove off we made it to an old farmhouse which was basically taken over when Confederates marched through. The place seemed eerily quiet now. Peaceful. It was hard to imagine that it’d ever been a place of great violence and conflict. But it did get me to thinking about what it must have been like to be a farmer minding your own damn business and suddenly find your property filled with an invading army. What chaos! And how scary that would be! It was humbling.
The other stops on the car tour were basically other properties that were involved in this march as we followed the procession. It was very spaced out and hard for me to follow in any capacity. By the time we got to the hiking trail we wanted to attempt I was on the fence if I should push myself any further. My feet gave a defiant NO but the rest of me was like, “This is our LAST stop on this trip, you can’t falter now!” So I went on the little hike, hobbling the whole way. It was much farther than I had been led to believe and we never did get to see that view of the city but despite that it was a gorgeous area to be hiking. All the trees looked like they were about to spring to life and start lobbing apples at us – or maybe the weird “brain fruit” we kept finding on the ground. Everything about these things made me want to play with them and learn more. They were the size of a softball, hard as a rock, with the lumpy texture of a brain. I cracked one open and it seemed to contain a fibrous mush that smelled faintly of pineapple. Others that had been squashed in the road appeared to be decaying into an alien goo. What were these things?! Turns out they were hedge apples, grown in the area mostly to keep pest bugs at bay. They’re mildly toxic and horses that eat them foam at the mouth. Good to know!
We didn’t make it to that many stops on the self tour because by now the clock was ticking and we really did need to get back to the airport (and it’d be another 6.5 hour drive home from there.) That was no small feat and I paid for it dearly but it was worth it. This little trip out of New England was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits and get me back into the swing of things. It’s funny how travel can do that.
After thoroughly dissecting the National Museum of Civil War Medicine we picked a booklet up in the gift shop that detailed a self tour we could take of local Civil War field hospitals. This we did. Now I did not have a booklet… I was just half-way listening as we walked and I snapped photos so I am going to warn you now this is a historically underwhelming entry. HOWEVER, here’s what I learned: when your city is surrounded by battlefields churches make great emergency hospitals! Seriously, there was a church on almost every corner and almost all of them had some sort of involvement in this. If I remember right (and do not quote me on this) I think there were around 17 of them on this tour. It wasn’t a long walk and was all and all quite pleasant. Below are the photos I took – most of which are probably of significant buildings.
Here’s what I do remember – the thing that looks like stables were once slave quarters and later stables. The iron fencing is where there is a nuclear bomb shelter that the locals like to whisper about. The Cherub that looks like he’s peeing in the bushes is actually looking over a brick labyrinth that was kind of fun to walk. The iron dog was once stolen to melt down for bullets but was somehow stolen back and replaced before this could happen. And of course there’s a snallygaster hidden in these photos too. He’s the local cryptid. Also I am sorry if these photos are a little on the blurry side. My camera was really struggling with full sunlight!
I am just writing this quick entry to announce that this week I will be doing something a little different with this blog. Since I was invited to attend a wedding in Maryland I decided to take a few days off and poke around Baltimore and Fredric. I had a lot of fun with great people and destinations and took enough photos to make you cry. We ended up everywhere – at museums, battlefields, escape rooms, some fantastic diners, antique shops, record stores, parks, and of course cemeteries. So buckle and stay tuned as I post a flurry of Maryland-based entries!
This week I returned to the Eyrie House ruins.. and I know you’re saying, “Returned? When did you go the first time?” I went early in the summer months and it was such a bad trip I decided not to write a blog entry and deter anyone from going up there. Suffice to say my super unfit ass had a HARD time getting up there and overheated so badly that I ended up horking up my lunch in the woods. From there I met a sweet old hippie woman on a break coming down that I spent an hour talking to and then we got locked in the park… because we reached the gate five minutes past closing… And in all that time I took almost no photos because I was too concentrated on not dying.
I promised we could return when I was in better shape and to be honest I was a little iffy when it came up again. Not that it wasn’t nice… just… you know, when things go that badly the first time it doesn’t really give you much motive to want to try again. However, this time we were bringing two friends with us – one with a fucked up leg and another who by their own admission had let the quarantine weight we’ve all gained go a little too far. Now that there was the possibility of not being the weakest on the team (for the first time ever!) I was feeling hopeful.
So we got there earlier this time, lunches already in hand, and met the hill.
“This is the hill? This is nothing. It’s maybe a 30 degree incline.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said… but IT KEEPS GOING.” [and going and going.] The sign at the beginning claims it’s a little more than a mile. The Internet on the other hand says it’s a 2.4 mile trail.
Sure enough that little hill didn’t stop. And despite being the middle of goddamn fall the temperature was SEVENTY-FOUR degrees out. But at least it wasn’t muggy like the first time! Still, our guests needed a break. A few breaks really. Until we hit a little turn off trail called the Goat’s Peak trail. It led to a nearby viewing tower.
Of course my usual travel companion wanted to take this detour and see what was there. Claiming the usual, “It has to be just right there… how far could it be?!”
Not surprisingly to me it wasn’t just right there and it was a mini hike all on it’s own. The Internet agrees it was a mile and a half added to our trek. In any event only three of us made it to the tower and of those three I was the only one to make it all the way up. Fatigue and vertigo had taken out the others.
I’m not going to say it wasn’t scary climbing up there – because it really was. The steps and platforms were all see-through grates which gave the uneasy feeling you were climbing into the air. And it was four sets of stairs before the top. I took my time and got there. And I must say the view was GORGEOUS. I could see for miles and miles. There were houses and churches, a water tower, a ski slope, some farm land and just as I was fucking around trying to make a panoramic photo with my cell phone a turkey vulture flew right by me at eye level only a few feet away. It was HUUUUGE. Like watching a pterodactyl in it’s natural habitat. But of course by the time I got my real camera untangled it was far away again. Shame, would have been an awesome photo! Instead I took a photo of a helicopter in the distance and one snap straight down to show how high up I was.
When I was ready to come down I was a little unsure how I was going to manage. I think the reality of being so high up was just starting to hit me and I was unsure how to go about this – do I go down backwards like a ladder? Or forwards clinging onto both rails for dear life and hitting each step with both feet like a toddler learning to walk? I chose the latter. And I was OK… until I hit the ground and got full on jelly legs and was barely able to stand.
“Uhhh…. I need to sit for a minute!!” My hands were shaking a bit from the adrenaline. Oh, how I missed these little random adrenaline bursts I get while travelling. When I could reliably put my legs under me again we continued on, gathering the whole crew back again and taking a few more breaks… the most amusing of which was when an 84 year old man and his dog jogged by us without so much as a drop of sweat on his brow.
Finally we made it to the old parking lot where cars used to be allowed. It was now a scenic overlook. And from there… the test really began because it wasn’t far to the ruins but it was at a much steeper incline. Even I had to bulldog this portion of the hike and I was doing really well until now!
But there at the top there is indeed the ruins of a swank hotel that burned down in 1908 after a botched horse cremation. And it’s beautiful! And it has quite a view looking out as well. We all gathered, ate our lunches, and I ran around taking photos – most of which came out super washed out because I had not intended it to be quite so glaringly sunny on that day and my camera didn’t take well to this. It’s a shame too because some of the nature shots were so pretty I was going to put them on my RedBubble shop but alas, they’re all blurry!! Foiled again!
On our way down I also found the world’s tiniest Eastern Garter Snake hatchling and picked it up. I was told this little buggar “HAD” to be in this entry so here he is in all his tiny glory. Sadly we didn’t get a photo of him with his tiny gummy mouth open yelling, “I So ScArY!!” but he totally did that too. And it was ADORABLE. I let him loose in some leaf litter of the trail.
If you’re looking for a hike to some nice ruins this is a winner – just make sure you’re in shape first!!
Last week’s adventure was a little different as the entire point of it was to give some kids one last hurrah before the end of summer vacation which these days isn’t really as easy at it sounds… still I agreed to drive as mini golf sounded plenty reasonable to me. And monsters make for a fun theme in any event.
The adventure began when the GPS dumped us at a random busy intersection and all I could see were stores on every side of it. We drove for a while but didn’t see any signs. That’s when fate decided to step in when one of the kids suddenly needed a bandaid. This resulted in us driving into a nearby parking lot that housed a grocery store. The big surprise was finding out the mini golf was indoors, out back of the grocery store with only a few tiny signs letting people in to their existence. I don’t think we would have ever found it if it wasn’t for the bandaid incidence. Especially since I was looking for an outdoor venue. Being from the country I’d never heard of a putt putt golf green being indoors.
This place was interesting for sure. It was super dark and lit by black lights with bizarre neon murals dancing across the walls and all sorts of Halloween-like decorations everywhere. Up front there was a light smattering of arcade games. Not surprisingly there weren’t many people here. We were there quite a while and I think there were only three groups of people playing the course in all that time.
It was a surprisingly big course with lots of room for social distancing- although my ball turned out to be sticky for some unknown reason which made me desperately want my hand sanitizer but I get it. Anything held by children for any amount of time is going to be sticky. That’s one of the laws of nature.
All and all it turned out to be pretty fun. This was in part due to the fact I was almost as bad at it as the kids but to be fair this was only the second time I’ve ever been mini golfing. The kids seemed to be enjoying themselves which is all that mattered.
After we finished the course we let the kids play Spy in a big laser filled box. Weird game but creative and they seemed to like it. It was a sweet little outing and just the right amount of activity for me who was having my ass kicked by a non-Covid related bug at the time. This place was just the right amount of weird and obscure and I’d happily recommend it if you have children to entertain or need an idea for a cutesy date.
After checking out the Charter Street Cemetery the day took on the vibe of a sugar-addled squirrel. In all honesty I don’t know where we ended up but it was a lot of places! I was just having fun releasing my travel companion on the streets to indulge his ADD. Traveling with others always allows this sort of delightful shift in perspectives. Of course my own focus may have been considerably off as I had been just ahead of a migraine all day and by the time we were halfway through it had finally landed and I was just barely able to hold a single thought in my head.
Funny enough the day started after we parked and basically beelined to the nearest bathroom after being stuck in traffic for way too long. I wouldn’t even bother mentioning this except the graffiti in the stalls amused me so much. Now I’ve seen phone numbers and course language with the odd comic or cartoon but never have I used a restroom covered in inspirational Sharpie messages. One read, “Stop slut shaming!” another “Happy Pride!” It was a little weird but I appreciated it. Salem is a delightfully inclusive place.
In fact besides being a Mecca for witches Salem also has an increasing population of Satanists who are elbowing their way into the scene with their own church, political functions, and now walking tours! This I learned from their pamphlet which reads, “Join us for an illuminating walking tour of Salem, free of superstition and supernatural influences!” I mean, this makes it sound dry and boring but I won’t argue with whomever is doing their advertising. Satanists after all aren’t the baby eaters frantic middle-aged moms like to envision. They’re more likely to be pragmatic legally-minded trolls – specifically ruffling the feathers of Christians. It takes all sorts to make this world go round.
That’s the wonderful thing about Salem – all the delightful misfits all meshing with each other. You’ll notice just about every shop here has at least one table set up for Tarot readings. Maybe one of these days I’ll sit at one and satiate curiosity. This time around I only aroused the suspicion of one of the readers who was wandering around Omens when she looked at me coming in the door, “Emily! Are you Emily?” “No,” I laughed. “I am not Emily.” “Thank you for your honesty!” She was looking for a client who as luck would have it was looking for parking. She’d arrive twenty minutes later as my travel companion was poking at some sort of talisman.
The witch shops around here have everything from sage smudges and pendulums to hundreds of little statues of Baphomet, Pan, Goddess figurines, Krampus, fertility statues, the odd haunted doll, and black cats EVERYWHERE. Then there are the more specific objects which can lead someone like me to be curious and mystified. One such thing was a row of rather intimidating crystal dildos. I mean… I guess some people think sex magic is a thing so maybe that’s what they were for? Who knows. I gave that one a hard pass, har-har.
And we continued to stray in more educational establishments – everything from the wax museum where I learned Giles Corey was perhaps less of innocent victim and more a petty criminal the town felt need to rid themselves of, to the witch village which described the history of witches in general, to an adorable history of Halloween which had everything painted in Dayglow colors and handed out 3-D glasses to make it even more disorienting! Of course we had to go through a haunted house… which did almost startle my companion at one point. I just laughed because it was all so silly.
Food was great too! I had the freshest haddock I have ever had – so flakey that it did not hold together enough to function as the fish sandwich I ordered. It did give me enough energy to get back to the car after the few hours we spent here. Traffic and road construction would keep us from getting home for almost three hours as my migraine got worse. By the time we reached home base I flopped on the couch too dizzy, nauseous, and pained to move where I was handed a bag of popcorn and allowed to just be until I took my sorry ass to bed. It’d be two more days before I was free of aforementioned migraine – a time I mostly just slept – but that all being said it was still worth everything we did that day and I don’t regret a stitch of it.
I meant to post this before my last few entries but alas my brain has been a pile of goo as of late. ANYWAY. I’m happy to announce that due to the wonderful efforts of a good many people I finally qualified for and received my first dose of Covid vaccine! And I’ve decided to document the experiance here for prosperity in the hopes we may all return to “the new normal” soon.
It was quite a process. I live with my parents who both qualified for different phases of the vaccination roll out while I patiently waited for my age group to come up. I have a lot of other health issues but none of them were on the official list of risky conditions so I patiently waited, biting my nails, until they started vaccinating fully healthy people of my age group. I made sure to log on at midnight the first day I knew I’d qualify. From here it was easy to make an appointment at a Mass Vaccination Event in Keene the next week.
It reminded me a lot of going to a drive-in movie as it was done all in our cars. After making an appointment we showed up at what seemed to be part of a collage campus (a baseball field?) In the middle of nowhere. We lined up at the gates as the national guard checked us in where we were directed where to park in a big dirt field. I ended up directly in front of their medical trailer so I got to see volunteers popping in and out with supplies.
Previously my mother had attended the same event a week before and waited an hour and a half but I think by the time I got there everyone had their jobs down pact and it was a well operated machine. I waited for sixteen minutes before there was a tap at my window asking if I’d been tended to yet. No ma’am.
The shot was quick and painless and the staff administering them were enthusiastic and cheerful. The mood was downright celebratory. I was then told to turn my hazard lights on (to mark my vehicle as already done) and asked to stay put for fifteen minutes to make sure I didn’t have a reaction. If I felt I may be having a reaction I should lay on my horn until someone came around. In the meanwhile they made another appointment for me for a month out to get the second dose.
Of course nothing bad happened to me or anyone else and after 15 minutes I excused myself, checked out at the gates, and drove off. I was lucky as I had absolutely no side effects and look forward to getting my second shot.
Here’s hoping everyone out there stays healthy (I’ll be stocking my car with hand sanitizer for the rest of my life regardless!) And I will be seeing all of you in future entries of this blog. Stay safe everyone!
I know it’s the dead of winter and we’re all still dealing with quarantine. I’m in hibernation with the rest of you but my feet are itchy to continue exploring as soon as the weather warms up a bit. In the meanwhile I have devised a little plan to help me pay for gas money when the time comes… a little shop! With many of the photos I have taken for this blog. I have put them on over 50 different products from greeting cards, tote bags, canvas prints, mugs, face masks, pillows, you name it!
So if you’ve enjoyed my photography and would like it in your home please check out my RedBubble shop.
And as always, thank you for continuing to follow me on my travels. This blog would be nothing without readers.
