On this particular outing we weren’t expecting to find much worthy of photography as this cemetery seems to have a rule about only using flat headstones and nothing else making it look more or less like a mowed field.
However there was a lichen covered bridge that made for a delightful photographer’s distraction as well as some sort of witchy resource? Something about water that goes under a cemetery… I’m not a witch so I just blinked at this information.
Another even better distraction was across the parking lot where a church hid all the interesting headstones! The churchyard was small but unique. On this day it was being set up for what I’m guessing was a wedding. An overworked groundskeeper jokingly asked if I was in need of a few buckets of grass. Not today!
We resumed checking out the stones. The first one I saw that stood out was a full bronze woman lying down with a small horse at her feet. Nearby were slate stones with family crests, dragons, and castles. It was very weird! Like we just stumbled into a European cemetery. And then there wad a creepy snarled tree that also distracted me for a few minutes before we made our way back to the car.
After our visit to the Yale University Art Gallery we hopped back into the car and tried to find somewhere to eat. After a minute we found a place only a block or so away so we stopped teasing the people looking for a parking space and hopped out of the car. I wasn’t going to parallel park again if we could walk!
Sure enough, a short amble away, past some lovely murals, we found an empty sandwhich parlor and wandered in.
The art on the walls were iconic images of mostly famous people with brightly colored sandwiches pasted into the scene. I chuckled.
The menu here was pretty extensive and a little wild. They had some unique and creative takes on sandwiches up there. We were both torn between two or three separate options each. I eventually settled on their pretzel coated chicken cutlet and my companion got the Chicken Bahn Mi. His was far prettier than mine but mine was a comfort food extravaganza and I bit into that thing like a rabbid werewolf. The dressing was a spicy mustard which I honestly don’t usually appreciate horse radish but it seemed to pair well with the pretzel.
My companion slipped me a pickled radish from his Bahn Mi. I’m an idiot so with little investigation I popped it into my mouth and immediately regretted every decision that brought me to this point in my life.
“It tastes like feet!” I mean I’ve never eaten feet but I feel like this is what a chalky callused ill-washed foot would taste like. I tried to swallow it to be polite but it was so gross I couldn’t get it to the back of my mouth. A quick drought of soda only proved to wash this foul flavor around my mouth even more. I was reduced to shoving french fries in pie hole like a starved raccoon trying to replace the aforementioned taste with glorious fried potatoes. This worked, thank God.
I am so happy I ordered my sandwhich, which was goddamn amazing and not whatever the hell my companion just haplessly consumed. This is NOT me complaining about the food, this entire experience was really just me being way over sensitive to how repulsive pickled things are and too dumb to remember my intense hatred of fermented foods.
So yeah, if you’re hungry and looking for something both familiar and a little adventurous check this place out! It’s a gem.
I know life is getting...grim for a whole lot of people right now but that only confirms that free entertainment and beauty are more needed now than ever and the Yale Art Gallery is free with so much to offer!
We expected a nice museum, though not enormous, maybe with a famous name or two tossed in we can recognize but no, this place was huge. Four whole floors just chuck full of fine art with so many famous names. A real smorgasbord of human creativity that touched on so many cultures and time periods around the world.
Of course I was already in a good mood because I managed to parallel park almost directly in front of the door in one try, during traffic, without attracting an audience of spectateurs. And then I had enough quarters to stuff that goddamn parking meter until it timed out. It’s the little things in life we must celebrate.
ANYWAY. The first exhibit we walked by on the main floor was the African section. I admit, I do not know much about African art or culture, which I realize I could be better at. These pieces were mostly tribal but from all over the continent. A lot of wild animals, masks, colorful figurines. Granted we were the only ones there and the guard followed us around like he thought we were going to stage a heist. Little intense. But I suppose… we’re both white and our ancestors were likely dicks sooo… I get it. But that’s not to say some white people aren’t capable of being respectful.
To be fair since we were there during an intense lull the first two floors had guards who continued to follow us. It was… uncomfortable. At one point I found a silver serving tray made by Paul Revere and went to point out the plaque that this information was written on when a guard barked at me not to touch the exhibits (in this case literal furniture hiding the damn plaque.) My inner 8-year-old knee-jerk responded by yelling, “I DIDN’T TOUCH ANYTHING!” And I honest to god didn’t. Not that my dirty paws could turn furniture (much we’d already seen at antique stores) into dust but you know, respect and all. The last concerning encounter we had was with a very large black guard literally hiding in the shadows of a nook waited for us to pass before saying in a booming voice, “How are you today?” But it wasn’t his stature that made me weary, nor the fact he was hiding in the shadows, it was the pained wheezing that came after his salutations that made me want to ask if he was OK. His facial expression did not seem to be the sort who’d want to be checked in on so I uncomfortably scuttled away, wondering if I was being trolled for being just another timid looking white chick. (I’m totally fine with a little teasing if this was the case.)
Luckily people started to fill the museum and we stopped getting tailed right around the time I squealed with excitement to see not one, not two, but three Van Goghs, none of which I’ve seen before, and I’ve seen almost his entire catalogue save for those in personal collections and Starry Night which is always on tour. That one’s on my bucket list but this one… was a lovely surprise!
We also got to see some Georgia O’Keefe landscapes, some decidedly not ballerina Degas, a couple Jackson Pollocks which looked exactly like the projectile baby vomit and/or splooge I thought it’d look like, quite a few Picassos that seemed like a decent into madness, er, I mean Cubanism, and some others that sounded vaguelly familiar.
These notables were smattered about in different places but we got to see a lot. Roman pottery and mosaics, a likely haunted ancient Meso-American doll, another Meso-American figurine that looked bizarrely like the trash Muppet in The Labyrinth, a gorgeous intensely ornate Buddha that was courting a young photographer who was taking photos of EVERY angle, a delightful depiction of Kali, another Buddha that was thin and serene, some unreasonably jacked baby Jesuses, some Cherubs that probably came from the depths of Hell, some fun abstract sculptures, an exquisite painting of a baby declaring her mom’s titty as her territory, some photography that gave me some ideas about my own, a bunch of “you know what a baby/horse/cat/dog look like, right?” Kinda paintings. A cursed jester, a terrifying baby tinman, some other super questionable scenes on canvas. Oh! And some really impressive shadow puppets! Which were colored on their back sides??
We were having so much fun by this time we had to go back out to feed the meter again. All and all we were there for almost three hours. We saw everything and even swung by the gift shop to buy a magnet and some post cards.
This place was so worth the drive and the fact it was free was astounding. And it was right next to the British Art Museum if you really want to be a glutton for free art. We were pretty exhausted though so we saved this for another day. Perhaps after I remember more than just Banksy as British artists…
After a long day of poking at a lot of weird and wonderful things it was time to find something to eat to gain my strength for the long drive home. We returned to the car after leaving the always bizarre Evens & Oddities and started looking things up on the phone.
However we’d had a LONG day and the thought of finding yet another parallel parking spot was starting to overwelm me. So I pitched eating at the super shady looking place we were already parked in front of. It looked worn down, seriously worn down, the sort of thing you see in the background of apocalypse films. Inside was even worse. It looked as if someone really had put a lot of time, energy, and money into making this place a success… thirty years ago.
A glass counter up front was covered, two convenience store ice cream freezers gathered several inches of dust behind the tables, a regular fridge was parked in the middle of the dining area and looked just as old. The bathroom was literally in a supply closet and had a sign reading, “No feet on the seat please!” In all my years of toilet usage I’ve never been tempted to stand or squat on the seat….
With that all being said I’m a big fan of finding “hidden gems,” places that scream, “We could be in Detroit” but taste like heaven.
We’d had two VERY long days of driving and exploring and I’d reached a point of exhaustion that had turned my brain into pudding. Looking at the vast choices of sauces/styles on their menu I chose the three piece chicken and asked my travel companion to pick a sauce for me as I was overwelmed by the choices. He picked a teriyaki BBQ sauce combination for me and ordered “pteredactyl wings” for himself which were spicy wings of some sort. We shared cheese fries and he also inhaled some sort of sandwhich I didn’t get a chance to identify.
When it was time to get our meal there seemed to be great confusion that we were staying there to eat and not getting take out. Indeed I think we may have been the first to do so in a number of years. As such we were served in take out boxes.
My meal came with a salad. A salad that came in a small dessert carton and consisted of 6 pieces of very wet iceberg lettuce, a single piece of bell pepper, and the very end piece of a cucumber. Later I’d find two juiliens of carrot and one of celery in the take away box. Was this the other half of the salad or the “vegetable” served with dinner? Who knows.
I moved onto the macaroni salad which I didn’t know came with this. It was… mostly dry macaroni noodles with the tiniest hint of mayonnaise and dill. Was this the price of not wanting to parallel park again?
Across the table my companion had swallowed his sandwhich whole and was currently tearing through the wings like a starving street urchin. At least his dinner was good. I turned to my chicken which made up for everything else. The four pieces were huge, like a whole goddamn chicken, and fucking delicious. I stabbed it with my fork and ate it by biting chunks off. My companion then told me I had a knife hidden under my box but I didn’t care. Too late for that now, I was committing. Nom nom nom. I stopped only to shove stolen cheese fries into my gullet from across the table. I had fries too but they weren’t drowning in nacho cheese and the cheese fry side order was a meal in itself anyway.
So yeah… that was that. I felt much better after food and luckily we weren’t serial killed. Always a plus.
This place came out of the blue for me. My travel companion gave me an address to drive to but didn’t say what it was so I was a little surprised it was not another antique store but rather a tiny shop full of dead things. Signs outside said goths were welcome. Okaaaaay…
Inside was a tiny shop set up in a retro circus freak show sort of way. In a series of curios cabinets there were bizarre taxidermy, sarcastic pins and patches, mildly radioactive earrings, and a large silver serving platter full of human teeth! Only incisors.
We bought two grab bags labeled “shit” to be supportive of such an odd shop since we didn’t have the cash to buy the toaster in a bathtub taxidermy duckling. They were full of delightfully weird stickers. Who knew Plaistow was such a fun town! This seemed like the perfect stop after Zoo Creatures… like going from an exotic pet store to the afterlife of an exotic pet store. Fun for all! If you’re unapologetically weird.
After having an absolute blast playing with the reptiles at Zoo Creatures we decided we should continue on our adventures and see what other trouble we could get into. That’s when we ended up at an antique store on the same road as the aforementioned pet shop.
It was a little place, well kept with very organized displays. The vibe of this shop seemed to be one of nostalgia for millenials. Though there was the usual antiques – vassiline glass, the odd creepy doll, salt shakers and what not, there seemed to be more nostalgic toys – rainbow colored storm troopers, plushie girl gremlins, fidgets, trolls, and the like. It was different and kind of fun. I even got a little giggle out of a blinking doll who had an unfortunate blotch of eye shadow that made her look like she was sporting two black eyes, an illusion made all the more convincing with only one eye open.
My other favorite was a little metal fire truck with a key jutting out of it. When I wound it up I thought it’d drive around but no… it was a music box??
It’s a rare occasion when I get to drag someone along to a happy little memory of when I was growing up. I think one of my favorite things to do as a kid and as a teen was go to all the independent pet stores that were out there, running like it was the Wild West. Some were absolute dumps, literally run out of trailers and stinking to high heaven, but others were goddamn treasures and all of them brought with them the opportunity to see some crazy animals. Colors and morphs of common pets that were out of this world as well as critters you would normally see at a zoo. And there always seemed to be surprise grab bag, an abandoned animal being rehomed that the shopkeeper didn’t exactly know what it was. You want a lizard? Cool, here’s a lizard! Bird? We got you. This one seems nocturnal?? Thirty-foot-long snake? Oh, God, it’s heavy. And might be a literal anaconda.
This pastime has mostly been crushed by the arrival of PetCo, PetSmart, online retailers, and increasingly harsh animal laws and outright bans. One of the few places that has still survived and is in great standing is Zoo Creatures. It’s a reptile-centric center which I have had on my bucket list for a few years now. It seems to be the brick and mortal base for a much larger operation of reptile breeding, distribution, and outreach. That part of it is called NERD and they do reptile shows both on and off the property. I’ve encountered them over the years at schools, county fairs, and cons. They also do private events like birthday parties and whatnot I’ve just never been cool enough to be invited to one of those.
Still, the shop is a great way to at least see a lot of these critters and buy fun stuff for your own critters. They even have a petting zoo outside where a number of obese goats vie for your attention. And food. Just inside the door they have a whole rack filled with baby frogs of various kinds, scorpions, isopods, and millipedes. No tarantulas on this day but I would expect to see them here too. I wanted to bring the giant millipede home. Fucking love those things and they’re hard to find these days since imports have stopped and they must be bred here (which I guess must be a pain because there isn’t enough supply to meet demand, or at least there wasn’t when I was looking.) The frogs were also after my heart but they’re hard to keep alive unless you have the perfect environment. Above them were a couple very bright snakes cuddled on individual tree branches. Very pretty!
For the most part this looked like a normal pet store but just around the corner is when things got interesting. We entered the reptile room. There were rows of habitats and containers. Lots of strange morphs in the containers and some animals on display in the habitats that were a little unusual. Rock iguanas, frilled lizards, a snake that looked like a vine, and some bigger snakes. And randomly a big constrictor snake in a bubble bath. It seemed to be enjoying it, though I’m not honestly sure what the bubbles were for. Maybe it was a dirty snake…
From there we found the venom room… which was filled with huge venomous snakes. One of them was the biggest Timber Rattlesnake I have ever seen in my life. I didn’t even know they got that big! Which is concerning as Timber Rattlesnakes are the only venomous snake (capable of killing people) native to New England. They live in the mountains and luckily through all my hiking I’ve never encountered a wild specimen as they are endangered. There were cobras and spitting cobras also in this room and as I cautiously made my way to the back I heard a familiar SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHK! It was the angry rattle of a rattlesnake. An albino (?) rattlesnake on the bottom cage took offense to me walking by and let me know it. It slithered up the glass in a sidewinding sort of way as it shook its tail. The primitive monkey part of my brain was screaming DANGER! DANGER! but the other part of my brain that thrives on adrenaline just soaked up the moment. I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie, even though no one who knows me would say this, it’s just because it’s very specific. I feel most alive when I’m around animals I know can and will kill me given the chance. Something I learned as a kid while wrestling a pit bull who got tired of my bullshit and pinned me to the floor with its paws and just hung over me, inches from my face, it’s breath hot on my neck. It’s a good thing I did not grow up in Florida because as a kid I LOVED reptiles and am pretty sure if I could have gotten a job catching dangerous ones or milking snakes I would have taken it at that time – back when I had the reflexes of a cat and the joints of youth. SIGH.
My companion came over to ask what the noise was and the snake responded to him in the same way. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHK! Cranky little beastie. He put on such a show I almost missed the Gila monsters cuddling in the corner and the GIBOON VIPER in another bottom cage. I’d heard about them so many times… people keeping them, them getting out, animal control being WAY out of their depth in capturing and or dispatching them. I had no idea they grew so big! And were so… beautiful. Though I still think it’s a really dumb idea to have a venomous snake as a pet and you shouldn’t I could at least start to see the appeal. This snake was colorful, animated, and had weird little horns. I should note here the venom room is basically a gimmick to get people in the door. They do not sell these dangerous animals; they just put them on display.
Beyond the venom room there were the turtles and that’s where my companion fell apart. They had a very large soft-shelled turtle who seemed very intent on seeing what we were up to and he was so cute! We hung around with him for quite a while because he was so endearing. Above him were what I’m guessing were a few of his children? And behind him were two massive snakes. This is what I was hoping to show my companion as in previous occasions he seemed wowed by much smaller big snakes. I wanted him to see the ones I was impressed with all those years ago… and these two were very decent! Not the biggest I’ve ever seen (that would have been a green anaconda) but still right up there. One of them was even one of those black rainbow snakes that shimmer like a puddle of oil. I took a photo but the lack of natural sunlight didn’t make the shimmer obvious.
From here we went into the fish room not expecting much. Indeed fishwise there was little to look at buuuut there was an enormous alligator snapper and he was perched on two feet peering over the top of his enclosure. He seemed so…. intent, so intelligent. Almost cute. I cooed at him. “Sorry, I don’t have anything for you, not even any human hands.” He was big enough to snap one right off. My travel companion was enamored. It was like meeting a goddamn dinosaur. And his feet! Dear god! They were huge! and the claws! This was definitely the highlight of the day.
I asked my companion if this was worth the 2+ hour drive and he said, “Hell yeah! I saw more animals here than at all the zoos we’ve been to!” I’ll leave that as testament to how cool this place was. Someday when I have a home of my own… I’m coming back, maybe for a millipede, maybe for some frogs, maybe for one of them turtles. Hard to say. Though I do really miss having weird pets. SIGH.
This place was dangerous – a huge store FULL of used vinyls, CDs, DVDs, and whatnot that I couldn’t just window shop. I could have spent several days digging through all these treasures and spending every cent I have.
I was overjoyed to find they even had a whole section for French music with Edith Piaf and Jaques Brel… Obviously the two disc set for Edith Piaf came home with me.
I did a very quick sweep of the vinyls because I knew I could end up with a stack of them. Instead I grabbed a George Carlin and then got lost in a back corner where there was a distressingly large pile of completely unsorted $1 CDs. I’ve been looking for new music to play in the car and it has a CD player so I ended up with an absolutely psychotic little pile of Swing, Delta Blues, French, Indie Rock, and Surprise. Sadly didn’t find any Dark Caberet or random local bands no one’s ever heard of but I guess there’s always next time! I’d totally come back here… with a couple of cartoon styled money bags.
Ah yes, another book store! This one had a book called Night Animals Need Sleep Too in the window and I was endeared. Inside the whole back section was full of these funny little children’s books. The front of the store had young adult novels and a few more mature picks. This place was clearly where you go to buy a shiny new book to read on the beach.
The Brass Monkey is not the type of place I usually write about in this blog but I was lured into it after seeing a cool octopus bowl in the window. Indeed this place was FULL of cute little octopus things, beach chic, owls, and chickens. It was an odd, colorful, and sweet assortment.
Also they had hats, lots of hats! I wish I looked good in hats… but alas I don’t think I do. So off I went to check out their humerous hand fans, their delightful assortment of couch pillows, and the lobster trap decorated with dozens of guady Christmas ornaments.
Again this was a lovely place for tourists to wander if you have the money for a middle class vacation like people used to have in the 90s.
