Tag: eccentric

Route 1A Relics – Ellsworth Maine

Sometimes you find the best things while trying to go somewhere else. I remember when I was growing up the adults were always sooo frustrated when the kids would go completely off the rails and stop paying attention to whatever it was, they were supposed to be paying attention to, but I surmise this are the best bits of life.

I’m an adult now with flagrantly untreated ADD so not much has changed. My need for novelty and complete lack of planning are still fierce. So, it’s not surprising to know that on the way to Acadia State Park I passed by this absolutely chaotic antique store and HAD to stop. I am so glad we did!

This place was… mental. Outside a clutter of rural relics adorned the front, skeletons danced in the upstairs windows, and a giant lobster guarded a bus that looked like it’d been turned into a little cafe. Maybe that’s for the summer, I don’t know, I usually show up to these things off-season when everything looks abandoned and apocalyptic. But the store itself was still buzzing. People were shopping, there were two cashiers, life was good.

I found a bin of driftwood out front and rummaged through it as each piece was $5, a fraction of what driftwood back home costed, and I thought my aquarium fish deserved a nice addition to their decor. Inside the place looked even more like a barn than the outside with exposed beams and wood floors. I loved the atmosphere already, but it took a decidedly even more lovable turn the more we ventured inside. There were a number of vendors here who clearly had an eccentric sense of humor, or at least an unconventional decorating style. One corner drew me to it with its large arched window and posters plastered randomly in all directions all over the aforementioned arch. That vendor was selling action figures and animal bones. Because those two things are very complimentary. Just across from this was a huge assortment of brand-new books, the remnants of a failed bookstore I’m guessing. I picked up a really unique looking volume on New England folklore here and begrudgingly paid almost full price. It just was too damn interesting to leave.

In another room we found a life size Spiderman, tangled in webs on the ceiling, looking like he was about to be devoured by a black widow. I’m no expert on comics but I’m not sure that’s how that story goes… Aquaman was also on the ceiling, as I’m sure he’s accustomed, riding the top of a hanging canoe. And if that wasn’t alarming enough clowns started to appear, a life size It and a life-size Batman in a distressingly seductive pose neither of us could figure out. It wasn’t even the sexy revisionist Batman of the 80’s to present, it was the classic cartoonish version.

I was also delighted to see a whole booth of weird fish pottery. You cannot beat the absolute strangeness of local artists. All this wonderful ambiance seemed to be the heart of this adventure. It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten to mention the antiques! There were a number of them in this shop, and as is custom they ranged in price with the most affordable in the basement and the most insanely priced on the top floor. Really a nice assortment of everything small and quirky.

My companion left that day with an old Zippo lighter. It was shiny, and contains fire, so I could see the appeal. We both bought some bomb mittens that according to the cashier a sweet old lady had made from old sweaters. I have used them since, and they are really warm!! Highly recommended if you need a pair!

Annnnywaaay, if you happen to need a little whimsy in your life or like antiquing for small objects this is really where it’s at, and it’s near a lot of touristy things too if you come in the summer.

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The Umbrella Factory – Charlestown RI

This week’s adventure brought us to Umbrella Factory which FaceBook has been suggesting for a few weeks before it was again suggested by my hiking buddy that explored the Freetown State Forest with me. I admit I didn’t know what it was… but just the fact it came so highly recommended was all I needed.

My travel companion was even more confused. He thought we were going to an actual factory that makes umbrellas. Not quite. It was another one of those quirky little places nestled in what seems to be a residential neighborhood. There were No Parking signs half a mile up the road so this place must get craaaaazy busy.

To be honest I didn’t know what to expect either as I was just given the vaguest idea of what I was going to. And when I drove in and saw a sign reading “general store” I was like oh boy, here we go again. The general store was more of a gift store. It was small, in what looked to be a repurposed house, but boy did it have the best selection of random funny things I have seen in a long while, if ever. Far from the usual Live, Laugh, Love signs this place had everything from jokey bumper stickers, to ironically named soap, to classic rock inspired Tarot cards, and the perfect assortment of gag gifts for anyone with an off sense of humor. There was even a series of angry candles with scents that included Fuck Around & Find Out and Fuck Your Abortion Law. When the candles start getting pissed maybe it’s a sign old white men should stop legislating uteruses. Just a thought.

Upstairs seemed like a totally different adventure. Here there was a whole floor dedicated to simple musical instruments like thumb pianos and thunder tubes. Beyond them was a room full of various African art. LOVED the rooster by the way. And my companion? Well, he blew through the duck caller and when it quacked he jumped so that was funny all around. And I got to play with a wooden xylophone which always makes me stupidly happy (even though I have exactly no musical talent.)

After this we went outside and out back there was a little courtyard type thing with a flower garden, a booth for a silhouette artist, a little cafe, and some free-range chickens. Oh, and a paddock of emus. Which were thumping away. I love the weird drumming noise the females make. It’s something else. Really rubs in how much of a dinosaur those birds are.

“Where are their arms?”

“…They’re birds they don’t have arms… you mean wings? They have vestigial wings. They’re only like half a foot long though.”

I forgot how much I enjoyed free range chickens. Their behavior is so different from penned ones. So much more relaxed and happy.

Out here there was also a bamboo forest. Now I have fought bamboo my entire life. Once that shit starts growing it’s nearly goddamn impossible to kill it and it spreads and uuuuugggggghhhhh. However, I’d never let my patches of bamboo grow into a forest, nor even seen a bamboo forest before. It was… really weird. Almost like climbing through grass if I were an ant. There was a little maze out here in the bamboo with a rudimentary shelter of sorts made of stacks of the stuff. I must say it was a unique experience.

Also within this veritable little village of weird house shops there were a few hippie boutiques as well as a shop for indigenous art that seemed to be run by the local tribe. That was cool. I always like to see that.

Throughout all this we found a lot of weird things but no umbrellas for sale (‘least we missed them.) It was an adventure best summarized by my companion’s comment, “I wasn’t expecting emus today.” No, because no one expects emus.

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Tree House Tavern and Bistro – Warwick RI

I admit I don’t do too many eateries on this blog – but it’s not because I am not a foodie at heart, it’s just I usually can’t afford it. WELL, last night I was along for the ride and what a ride it was!

I have nothing against Warwick RI but it is a very busy built-up area humming with plazas filled with the usual chain stores and restaurants. Because of this I wasn’t expecting this new place to be any different but WOW… it was different alright!

The Tree House Tavern runs out of a repurposed 1800’s farmhouse which does in fact have a tree house out in the front yard. The parking lot is…. as a friend would say “Byzantine.” A real confusing jumble of possible parking spaces that somehow works. And once we popped out of the car and started to look around we realized just how odd and unique this place was. Set aside from a very busy roadway it was like we just fell down the proverbial rabbit hole. This didn’t look like anything else in the area. Bedecked with fairy lights to the hilt and supporting an odd country chic it beckoned us to come in. Inside the ceiling was absolutely plastered with brightly colored and open umbrellas mixed with other eccentric decorations. It was…. distracting but only in the most wonderful way.

We were given the choice of indoor or outdoor dining and we decided to go outside. It was a gorgeous evening after all. And so we found ourselves nestled outside amongst a series of little entertainment centers. Little firepits were everywhere, it looked like baskets full of snuggly blankets were on stock for chilly Autumn nights around these fires. There were several more private areas including a little patio with seating for a single couple. Flowers bloomed everywhere amongst even more fairy lights and chaotic decoration.

We sat down across from a somewhat judgmental deer head mounted on the wall of a little roofed outdoor area. Our waitress was young and perhaps a little new to the job but was excitable and happy. She handed us a menu and we gave it a once over. It didn’t have a whole lot of options but the ones that it did have were… something else. And what kind of food was on offer here? I guess my companion had it nailed with his description, “American Style Food Fuckery.” Pretty much the first thing I read was Sweet Potato Pizza and I was way too curious to even care what else was on there. I mean what on earth is a sweet potato pizza??? Meanwhile my companion was having a hard time deciding between a series of options which was made even more difficult when the waitress suggested a special of a crabcake surf and turf. Ultimately that’s what he chose and ended up with half a cow on his plate. No complaints here.

But first we had to try the appetizers! They had a plate of honey orange wings so we went for that, saying that maybe if they were good we’d come back and try the most adventurous appetizer on the menu – the peanut butter and jelly wings. We didn’t wait long at all before they were brought out and they were hands down the best wings I have ever eaten. And I am usually not a fan of wings (I mean there’s not a hell of a lot of meat on them.) They were crunchy, warm, delicious, and STICKY. Holy crap were they sticky! I had an ex once who would get pissed off with me for having sticky hands and this sort of thing would have made him flip right the fuck out. As such it gave a deep perverse joy to be making such a mess. That’s bliss right there. And the waitress was sweet enough to bring out some wet naps for after.

I could have walked out right then and there and been happy but no… there was more. As we waited for our entre I admit I was doing some eavesdropping of other guests and the absolutely bonkers conversations being had fit right in with the decor. My favorite was a whole discussion on a summer camp for horses where humans weren’t allowed and could only reach it by dirt bike after leaving their cars and horse trailers behind. A summer camp for horses. Now I’ve heard it all.

And then the waitress brought out a huge show and tell platter full of desserts to show some of the other patrons and I was just sitting there with my jaw agape. So many absolutely beautiful desserts to choose from! According to their website they rotated and changed depending on the mood of their baker on any given day (and SERIOUSLY how cool a job would that be to just bake whatever the fuck you want from day to day?? The freedom! The creativity!) Oooh lord, we’d have to save room for something delectable.

By the time our main course came out I was already having a wonderful time. My pizza was beautiful – a thin crusted prosciutto pizza with little cubes of sweet potato smattered about for some color and maybe to a lesser extent some flavor. My companion’s half a cow and a crabcake was also beautifully presented and he seemed to be enjoying it to the hilt.

We tried to eat slowly to save room but to be totally honest I was already mostly full from the appetizer! So I ate 2 slices of my pizza and waited for my belly to settle a bit. And when the dessert tray came out there was a lot to choose from – from a rather ordinary vanilla creme brulee, to a S’more cheesecake, to some sort of mutant whiskey filled chocolate ball, to some sweet little macaroons. I let my companion decide on something to share because honestly I would have accepted anything on that platter (save for the whiskey thing as I am not fond of the taste of booze. Yick!) We ended up with some sort of pink cake with green stuffing. It was a berry cake of some sort? I don’t know. It was cute looking and damn was it moist and delicious! Another win.

We were so full by the time we left I am pretty sure we were both waddling like penguins. And we had spent so much time there the mall closed. We’d actually came to run an errand at the mall – this…. was a distraction. A fantastic one at that!

ANYWAY. This was a delightful adventure. I’d HIGHLY recommend this place, especially if you’re looking for something “a little different.”

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Buddha Bob’s – Eastham MA

Our trip to Cape Cod was one of those last-minute things where we really didn’t know what we wanted to do… so we decided to fill up our National Park Passport with stamps. That being said we ended up stopped in traffic in front of Buddha Bob’s only a little down the road from Salt Pond which was our real destination. And this place looked so bizarre that we decided right then and there it needed more investigation.

It was… a trip. WELL worth the detour! I parked in front of a Bigfoot wearing gold chains and that’s where we started. Have you ever been to a little shop that has no idea what it is? This would have been that. It was part rock shop, part lot for eccentric yard and garden ornamentation, part commissioned junk shop. As such we found everything from a pair of bronzed baby booties, to Buddhas of every conceivable size, to LOTS of pretty rocks inside, to a pair of Turkish looking marionettes (perhaps haunted!) to a rather fetching (if totally rusted) statue of Achilles. Fuck knows my Achilles heel is… Achilles himself. That’s how I ended up writing a whimsical satire about his teenage years but I digress.

Buddha Bob’s was an adventure for sure. No one quite knew what would be around each corner and to my great delight the people running the shop were just as unrepentantly weird as the shop itself. This was my kind of place. And my travel companion lucked out by buying two hematite rings for $1.88. I know in previous entries I have been a little dubious about the whole hematite ring thing but I guess it’s not so bad if each replacement is less than a dollar… This was my happiest tourist trap yet. FEEL THE WHIMSY!

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Aardvark Antiques – Newport Rhode Island

I can’t tell you how many times I have driven by Aardvark Antiques, saw the big lions out front, and made a note to go there without ever making it. It’s one of those things – you know, a thing in town you just keep putting off because it’s so close.

Finally, the intrigue got the better of us and we decided we’d take a little poke at it. Nothing could have prepared us for what was beyond the big wrought iron gates. There in a small yard was a fascinating array of outdoor statuary. Some concrete, for those of us who aren’t dropping a trail of gold coins like a goblin, and others were bronze for those of us who really are. A life size bronze stallion galloped in place with a sort of intense realism. He demanded a $22,000 price tag. But if stallions weren’t your thing there were also an assortment of Grecco-Roman styled statues, a few dragons, a herd of African Safari animals, some creepy children, and two giant dancing frogs for anyone who was both rich and quirky.

Inside was even more interesting. This place was packed from floor to ceiling with just about anything to delight any eccentrics in the area. On the wall a giant moose head glowered down at us. The ceiling formed a canopy of random hanging things – everything from bicycles, to chandeliers, to a life-sized angel being lowered down from the heavens. It was almost like if the Catholic Church had a junkyard of antiquities. Moving on we came to a whole room full of stained-glass windows clearly from churches. Some were just ornate and colorful while others displayed whole religious scenes.

The furniture in this place all looked like it’d been freshly imported from some castle on Game of Thrones. Crazy heavy carved wooden chairs, tables, and writing desks played among smaller items that ranged in all categories. There was even a cabinet full of what looked like medieval Jesus paintings. And a lot of Asian pieces as well. It felt like getting lost in a bit of a time warp. Should I ever find myself a wealthy eccentric I’m coming back and just pointing at things to load into the truck! This was well worth the visit!

Haunted mirror selfie!
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Time Bomb Tattoo Parlor and Curiosities – Frederick Maryland

On our first evening walking down Market Street I looked up and noticed a two-headed calf in one of the windows. The business that it was drawing attention to was closed but I had to know more. What kind of place would used a two-headed cow to draw in customers?? As it turns out it was a tattoo parlor and curiosity shop. We vowed to come back in daylight which we did.

We all walked in to poke at the curiosities and although this was a small shop it had some weird things… mostly well done taxidermy dressed up in Victorian clothing. Odd but lovable. There was also a few steam punky things, some jewelry, and a reproduction of a two headed baby skeleton. It had a very freak show kind of feel to the place but in a good way. Like celebrating the weird and eccentric.

Sadly they didn’t have any flash on the wall that I could see so I have no idea what kind of tattoos this shop specialized in, if any. None of us got a tattoo soooo this will remain a mystery but it was definitely worth a little looksee either way.

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“Persecuted for wearing the beard” Gravestone – Evergreen Cemetery – Leominster MA

Evergreen Cemetery had eluded me previously. Little was I to know I had made it here once but I came in through the upper gate which wasn’t labelled with the cemetery’s name. Even funnier still I was within eye shot of the stone I was looking for that day and had no idea. Today I went with a few “before you go” tips.

I wanted to find the stone of Joseph Palmer who was a man after my own heart. He died in 1873, with great humor. He ordered a stone to be carved in his likeness with the epitaph, “Persecuted for wearing the beard.” Apparently in his day and age men didn’t wear beards in New England, especially ones with any status. It was considered brutish, unclean, and the men who did wear beards tended to be the same people we liked to harass at the time – minorities like the tiny Jewish population that was probably somewhere (in the cities perhaps?) The church wasn’t any happier with his dogged insistence on facial hair than the community was and he was harassed here too. When the local pastor asked rather unkindly why he didn’t shave Palmer replied, “… Jesus wore a beard not unlike mine.” which has to be the best answer ever, if not the reason he was eventually excommunicated from the church.

In May 1830 things got even worse when he was attacked in the streets of Fitchburg by four men armed with scissors and razors who had plotted to shave the beard off themselves. They hadn’t realized they’d be in for the fight of their lives. The old farmer wasn’t terribly patient with such things and he pulled out a knife and began slashing, wounding two of the four assailants. To add insult to injury he found himself arrested after this for “unprovoked assault,” known today as self defense. He was found guilty and fined by Judge David Brigham. Palmer refused on principle to cough up $750 for his fine, court fees, and bond, and was sent to prison for fifteen months.

Prison life didn’t treat him any better than the outside world. Other prisoners continued to try and shave off his beard and prison officials kept coming up with increasingly cruel and sadistic punishments for him. He kept a detailed journal of the whole charade and eventually left…. beard in tact and free… if not with a slightly bruised ego. He only gained his freedom by paying his $10 fine after the judge who sent him to prison begged him to.

His life after that got even more interesting as he befriended many intellectuals and writers of the day. He even ended up being the basis of the character Moses White in Louisa May Alcott’s Transcendental Wild Oats. In 1843 he even joined a commune called the Fruitlands Experiment and when that failed he even tried to run his own commune later in life. He remained active in politics, religious reform, abolitionism, and of course beard activism until the day he died — which funny enough was the same era where beards had once again become fashionable. So now you know the twisted and strange story of Joseph Palmer.

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I must admit the cemetery Joseph Palmer is buried in is gorgeous. Clearly people of great wealth had been buried here for quite some time. I spent a few hours walking and snapping photos of the angels and Cherubs who decorated many stones. Another stone of interest was found in the new part of the cemetery where a woman had been buried with her beloved pet cat Dr Pepper.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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