On the first Saturday of every month the LifePath Fellowship in Jaffrey NH holds a “psychic fair.” If you don’t know what that means don’t worry. I had no idea either when I showed up for the first time a few months ago. Basically there’s a handful of people there, mostly tarot card readers, but sometimes angel card readers, mediums, clairvoyants, healers, aura photographers, you name it. It’s different every time. You can buy an appointment with the person of your choosing $20 for 20 minutes. The first time I went I chose randomly a tarot card reader. This was the first time I had ever had my cards read and the poor guy doing it almost swore when my cards came up. “Oh boy! Your life is CHAOS.” It totally was. The next twenty minutes were intense. He hit on all the points of chaos and with freakishly similar words to what I had been using to describe my situation despite the fact I told him nothing. Curious. The most hopeful part of that whole outburst was, “Well…. it looks like you’re dealing with this huge mess really well….” Thank you. Was it the smile? Or the fact I am dressed nicely? Oh the cards, right. Didn’t learn anything about my future but he sure as hell described my present to a T. Didn’t even miss anything. It was weird. Especially for a cynic who only went as a desperate diversion from life, in other words I went to be entertained.

This time around I got a different reader. She was a sweet old lady that reminded me of Jane Goodall. I quietly sat down, said nothing of relevance, and she started. Today I wanted to know about my future, not what was going on presently. Last time I had my cards read I think everyone I had ever met was represented somewhere. This time the spread was me-centric. No one else was appearing anywhere. She told me this was very important, that there was something I was doing by myself, that it had to be done by just myself. I smiled. Yes, yes indeed. I am currently single and after spending two years running a heritage breed poultry farm I decided that even though I do not have the financial means, the farm, or really anything else anymore after the break up, I still want to devote my life to farming – but this time instead of aiming to be a hatchery I want it to be an educational farm on a large acreage. I want it to be a place of community and public access. My goals will be to have a tool library, a seed library, a co-op garden, classes on how to raise your own food including gardening, slaughtering, processing, and cooking, and I want to also have nature walking paths that wind past non-traditional tiny homes I plan on building and renting out. Animals on the property will be heritage breeds in danger of extinction being bred for prosperity and the gardens will have a vast variety of vegetables, fruits, and berries that are also quickly going extinct in our monoculture. It’s a HUGE vision, a complicated vision, and one that is really damn near impossible to accomplish with no credit and no formal education but that’s not stopping me because I feel there is a much higher purpose to all this. I feel completely driven. With that being said it’s been crazy laborious to set up a platform, to make donation prizes, and to come up with a strategy, all right after moving into a far from ideal situation (i.e. I have NO space to do this.) But this is what was going on and what I wasn’t saying when my cards were being read.

So she says I am doing something big, by myself, something others think I am incapable of doing but don’t listen to them. The others are an unnamed audience of multiple people. Here there was a vision, a vision only I could do, and one in which it was of absolute importance that I kept true. Don’t let anyone else take credit or change it any way, it is yours and you have to maintain control. Sounds about right. But there is something negative too – bureaucracy – over and over again, perhaps a board of directors, who are coming in and giving you a hard time about everything. It’ll be frustrating and you’ll fight them a lot but in the end you’ll succeed, just don’t let them change what you’re doing or take credit for any of it. I am guessing this means the planning and zoning board of the town I decide to settle in. Building your own tiny home is a bureaucratic nightmare in New England, worse if you want it to be a functioning farm business as well. I know this is the sort of thing only crazy people try to accomplish. I realize it’s going to be hard. I am still going for it. Hearing this from the cards was comforting. More amusing still she did two lay outs and they both said the same thing. Curiously she said I feel like I am standing still and it’s not going fast enough (dead on) and that I am just trying to keep everything balanced (which I very much am in everything In my life right now. It’s of dire importance for any of this to work.) Also that money is tight and that I am seeking it from all different sources (did this octogenarian just reword crowdsourcing??) And she left off with an unexpectedly sweet message. “In a year or two, soon but not too soon, someone will come into your life, a love interest, who will be better than you can even imagine.” She repeated that, better than I can imagine. I did not ask, nor was I looking for that sort of answer. Part of me has always figured once I sort myself out and am settled after all this I will find someone – but better than I can imagine? That’s a lot to live up to! Perhaps I should take this note as mere flattery.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!