Ever have one of those moments where you find yourself somewhere odd, staring at something you can’t explain, and having no idea why? This seems to happen a lot to me and today was no different. I was on the Freedom Trail just meandering when I came across a seagull sitting atop a statue. I thought it was so funny I stepped into the dooryard to snap a photo and found instead the cutest little donkey statue under it! And honestly, I was going to let this go as just that… a fun little thing during the day, not a whole damn blog entry, but things started to get a bit weird. You see the donkey in addition to being life-size (to a miniature donkey) was also practically glowing. It was a bronze statue and a clearly well-loved ass as there were golden wear marks almost all over the damn thing! I mean I’d seen bronze statues polished by people touching them before but it’s always just one spot. This thing looked like it’d been furiously rubbed like a genie’s lamp. What… is going on here?? I looked around for an explanation but there wasn’t any plaques or signs or anything… it was just… an anomaly.
“Is it shiny because people pet it for good luck?” I asked my companion who had no idea either. Just for good measure I pet him. I’m not really superstitious but I could use some good luck… especially after the earlier parking fiasco and the traffic, my god, the traffic. Later I’d look up what made this donkey so special and when I read the story… I smiled!
Apparently, they donkey is absolutely as random as it looks. He started his life in Italy where a Roger Webb found him, became enamored, and purchased him for the low low price of ten thousand dollars. Why? He wanted to put him on the Freedom Trail to entertain bored children! But you can’t just put a random donkey on the Freedom Trail. That makes no sense. And when he tried to donate the donkey to the city of Boston they just frowned. No. just no. BUT HE’S SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM!
Anyway… eventually Mr. Webb came to lease the courtyard of The Old City Hall and he decided that would be a great place to board the little guy. Certainly, better than his daughter’s garage which is where it was spending all it’s time during this lack of a custody battle. He still had to make up a reason for why it should be there and so he just muttered, “Democrats?” And apparently Boston relented. That is until after the donkey was put in place and the Republicans got their panties in a bunch wondering where their elephant was going to go. To appease them Webb did put a dedication up to the Republicans but it wasn’t in the form of a bronze elephant it was actually just a set of footprints directly in front of the donkey…. so they could stand in opposition to it.
Meanwhile, much to Webb’s glee the donkey became a BELOVED monument, climbed on by children of all ages, pet on the regular, and with selfies galore. And I mean… it deserved it. Why? Because it’s ridiculous and adorable, that’s why. In this increasingly hostile world sometimes it’s nice just to spread joyful chaos. So, if you’re of a whimsical nature like myself I think you too should pay a visit to this sweet little donkey.
A few days ago a friend invited me to meet him at the Deerfield Fair. I said sure, I could use a day out, and we planned to meet each other at noon. Sounds good! Until I almost got to the exit into Deerfield, there were cars lined up for a mile in the break down lane. Oh shit… So I swung aside with them and twenty minutes later I found myself in Deerfield but just barely. I was five and a half miles from the destination and it was complete gridlock. Since I was at a standstill anyway I texted my friend who then called me and decided to come pick me up at the used car place I happened to be slinking by. I didn’t know why…. but I guess he and his friend were out on their motorcycles earlier and they wanted to come pick me up, drop off the cycles and my car at this other guy’s house and wander to the fair together as a group…. This is highly unusual for me. I don’t do vehicle hopping and I’m a shit passenger besides but seeing the traffic it just made sense to go as a group and use only one parking space.
My friend’s friend was an older guy who had clearly spent all of his youth living hard and hoping to die young. I hate seeing people like that old… their bodies completely spent, creaking at every joint, seemingly miserable at their lack of mobility… SIGH. But still! What he couldn’t do walking he sure made up for in driving. Ever wonder what it’s like to drive with Hunter S Thompson? AHHHHH HOLY ASS CRACKERS CHRIST! SLOW DOWN! A DEAD MAN’S CURVE! OH MY FUCKING GOD ANOTHER ONE! I imagine it would be a little like that. Also I want to take this moment to apologize to any passengers who may have been in my car while I was driving in a similarly terrifying manner. Know that I love each and every one of you and it’s out of my system now. Sorry.
To make a long story short we turned around and drove to Portsmouth, probably another 45 minutes or hour away, where I took a few lovely snaps of sea gulls and learned that lobsters have compound eyes. Ah, the things you learn when your food is staring at you! But really, we got some sort of sale and it was 4 lobsters for $32. They also got a combo plate to share between us filled with fried marine miscellany. I think there were steamers, scallops, and fries. And you know what I also learned? That fresh seafood, no matter the shape, all tastes the same when it’s fresh – like nothing. It’s really a texture thing or perhaps a “I need an excuse to eat tartar sauce” thing. Either way I am not complaining! And I was STUFFED TO THE GILLS. This place was really nice as it had a porch outside right on the ocean you could watch or feed the sea gulls from. It was quite relaxing! And here’s a few snaps of boats and seas shore when we parked down the street to check out their beach.
