Tag: Recreation

The Sparkle Barn – Wallingford Vermont

The shittier life gets and the more apocalyptic the surrounding world becomes the more I desperately need whimsy and the Sparkle barn… well, it was exactly what I needed! This place was so nonsically colorful it just fed my soul.

It had been on my bucket list for a few months but to be honest I had no idea what to expect. It was really just the title that was sparking my infinite curiosity.

We visited the Sparkle Barn on our second day in Vermont. It was our first stop and quite a hike into the middle of nowhere but you know, Vermont’s like that. It’s the state that hides a lot of treasures behind a mischievous smile.

Driving up it didn’t look like too much from the outside although there was a broken down bus in the parking lot with a beach ball in its window painted to look like a giant eyeball. Trippy. I like the fact someone else besides me was personifying cars. By now the issues at home that had been dogging my companion the day before had come to a head and he was now having a bit of a meltdown yelling into the phone. I gave him some space by wandering into the yard of this odd place.

There seemed to be a garden of sorts out front but it was unlike any garden I’d ever seen. For one the flowers were all made of brightly colored metal. They reminded me a bit of Alice in Wonderland. Beyond them was a bench in the shape of a unicorn you could sit on and so many other sparkly metal decorations both dancing in the wind and tacked up to the barn’s wall. I was fucking loving this and I hadn’t even stepped inside yet!

Inside was even sparklier. The entryway was surrounded by stained glass windows and the inside was a darling little gift shop with fancy notebooks and diaries and whatnot, a light smattering of nerdcore (like some Edgar Allen Poe dolls!) It was all very cute. Unfortunately, my companion was still coming down from his traumatic phone call and was more than a little distracted. That is until we walked into a room that seemed at complete odds with the over the top color of the rest of this place. It was a room with a wall mural of ravens. There was a big Gothic chair and candles and witchy items for sale in case anyone needed a bundle of sage or a piece of Edgar Allen Poe or Edward Gorey memorabilia. Honestly, I haven’t done enough with those two as both had lived in New England at some point in their lives. And I adore both of their work.

However the biggest treat of this place was upstairs which was so immersing that it shocked both of us into experiencing the moment. The second floor of the barn was an “interactive art display.” And when I tell you EVERY last inch of wall, ceiling, and floor of this place was covered in brightly colored fabrics and enormous fake flowers I mean it. It was literally like walking into Alice in Wonderland. The photos just don’t do it justice. Vines and flowers dangled from above and seemed to sprout from the plush super thick shag carpet as well. Child size chairs and tables in the form of flower petals and toadstools sat in two rows so you could sit or watch the children scamper through this felted garden. This tickled every cell of my inner child. SO MUCH WHIMSY. I was so stupidly happy in this moment. This was a goddamn treasure for all ages. I wished more places like this existed. We both left in a much better mood than we arrived in.

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Stone House Antiques – Chester Vermont

After having earlier that day hit Vermont Antique Mall and already being slightly overwelmed at the size and amount of antiques we started to go for broke. It was my companion’s vacation after all. So we looked up another place somewhat in the area and came up with the Stone House Antiques.

This is where things started to go off the rails as the GPS brought us to the middle of nowhere, over every pothole in the state, and we had to pull over and park in a nice church yard to regain our bearings and beg the phone for directions. Luckily at this point the phones still worked and we made our way easily to the appropriate parking lot.

Once again we were gifted a large market to explore with fancy bougie antiques on the first floor and the devil’s nostalgia pit in the basement. Upstairs the only thing that caught my attention was this weird blue glass baby bottle which for some unknown reason had two baby faces on the neck like a reversible doll. From afar it was pretty but up close it had old timey mental institution vibes. Just whhhy?

The basement proved even more fun. My companion was horrified by a cherub box which to be fair Doctor Who does imply cherubs are just baby Weeping Angels… I on the other hand was stopped in my tracks by a bowl that for no reason I could see had a ceramic clown head with a gaping mouth affixed to it. What is that even for?! Also pleeeease stop buying small children clowns. They’re not fun, they’re deeply traumatizing!

By now I’d discovered the “portrait” button on my cell phone’s camera which makes anything in the center of the photo crystal clear and anything beyond it whispy, dream-like, and out of focus. Would you believe this makes all the haunted dolls, possessed knickknacks, and suggestive clowns I find EVEN CREEPIER? I know, it’s a fact that charmed me so much I almost wish people still bought calendars… or conversation pieces to hang on their wall.

We were well satisfied picking through this place but by now we were a bit punch drunk on antiquing so we thought we’d find food… and that’s where everything started to go topside but that is a story for tomorrow.

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Vermont Antique Mall – Quechee Vermont

I realize I have not given much love to Vermont on this blog, and it’s not that I don’t adore Vermont (it’s actually my favorite of the New England states, shhhh) it’s just I rarely have the spoons to drive many hours into the mountains to somewhere that may or may not be open during a random off season day. But this time I had company so it at least was a little more exciting, perhaps too exciting at times as kidnapping my companion for a few days to play in Vermont with me started with a midnight drive around and around Rhode Island searching for ANY exit that wasn’t closed for construction! It was like living through the lyrics if Hotel California – you can check in but you can never leave…

But we did make it north, had a nice little sleep and immediately got up to go give Vermont a friendly poke. We’d learned that generally speaking the antique stores with the blandest names were often the largest and there’s nothing lacking more imagination than the Vermont Antique Mall. It just screams antiques. In Vermont. Come get em’.

Luckily this observation turned out to be true for this store. It was large! And surrounded by other quaint little Vermonty stores in the same Plaza, er village. There was a liquor store for the adults, an ice cream parlor for the kids, and randomly an alpaca fiber store with real live alpacas outside to greet guests. Wasn’t expecting that but it does scream Vermont doesn’t it? Random alpacas and artesional sweaters.

But onto the antique store! It was also joyfully very eccentric in that Vermont sort of way as scattered between many of the antiques there was also a plentiful variety of homemade folk art of all ages, subject matter, and level of creepiness. You know like the sweet idyllic scene painted onto an enormous dried mushroom or conversely the equally enormous decapitated claw of a lobster dressed up to look like a pirate!

Did I forget to mention the taxidermy? There were so many bears! A number of impressive mounts and then a few that made you wonder if it was the taxidermist’s first day or if they should be looking for a day job. The mange-addled bear and the coyote with a pained and somehow constipated grin came to mind.

All this was cuddled up next to artifacts and art from I think every indigenous tribe in the US, not just the local ones, and because we love drama there was also a flint pistol and lots of Indian Wars-looking weaponry not far away.

This place had a little of everything and I do mean everything. We even found a battle nun figurine. I know you have questions but I don’t have any answers.

There was also a jar of dog tags, not military ones, the canine variety… perhaps a morbid memorial to dogs long since passed? We may never know. Or who would buy that?? Not to be outdone in the creepy department there was also a marionette horse that I would have brought home to make a still animation horror movie if only I had a studio or the space. The thing was absolute nightmare fuel, a horror of horrors.

But there was a lot of cutesy stuff too including someone’s entire collection of mice figurines and salt and pepper shakers. This is not to mention what hilariously looked like a progressively leaning take on Dick and Jane but with Jane replaced by Joe. Dick and Joe, all kittied up in fancy garb going for a little dance around the yard. It most certainly was not intended for this but you know… modern eyes see modern things….

All and all this place was a lot of fun. Probably would have been even more fun in summer when the ice cream parlor next door is open…

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Trailside Treasures Antiques & Otherwise – Columbia Connecticut

After eating some mediocre hotdogs we felt a bit more energized and decided to drive further into Connecticut to check out one more antique store.

This place was cute! It wasn’t enormous like the last two but it seemed a little more warm and inviting. And the prices couldn’t be beat. Partially because there were multiple sales going on. I ended up buying a couple metal car banks for $10 each! (I usually see them for $25 or so but I’d never seen one of a circus carriage or an ooooold Mack truck before. Their uniqueness called out to me.)

This place did indeed have antiques of the usual varieties – you know like orange carnival glass I keep telling myself not to paw at until I have an actual house. Sooo orange and shiny! I know millenials have been blamed for killing everything down to paper napkins but come on… having some pretty China could be fun! Especially since I don’t have any wee goblins to break them.

There was also one creepy doll, not 100% sure why it was chain smoking but to each their own. A hand crafted chess set also sat in a quirky little room that had tuna can wallpaper. I love eccentric wallpaper. Not enough people take advantage of them.

ANYWAY. This place was great if you are looking for craft supplies. They were selling knitting needles for a few bucks a pair, all sizes, and quilting fabric was being sold by the pound. First time I’ve ever seen fabric sold by pound instead of yard but hey I’m all for it!

And the cashier was really sweet too. Almost gave me a 50% off discount instead of the 15% advertised. She figured it out a few seconds before I was going to correct her. My treasures were only ten bucks each to begin with!

I liked this place. It was sweet and clearly struggling. I’m not sure the vulture circling it or the mob of 50 or so crows hanging out in the street next to it were helping much but hey! You never know, in some cultures crows are good omens…

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Jerimiah’s Antiques & Shoppes – Putney Connecticut

After enjoying a few hours in the Antiques Marketplace we wandered back out onto the streets and got lost looking for a hot dog stand but before that we realized there’s another antique store right here! Clearly, we had to check it out. Especially with such a razzle dazzle name. But we were kind of a bit burnt out and hungry but when in Rome, or rather Putney CT….

We were greeted with another large store with rows upon rows of glass cases. Most of their contents were pretty normal – mostly bricabracs and whatnot fir the rich grandmother in all of us but then we came across a box of Jarts! Gawd, did they look terrifying. A convenient way to murder your little brother or sister while making it look like an accident. “We were just playing! I swear!”

Weird and very charismatic chairs were scattered about – furry chairs, chairs with weird art deco designs, chairs that could sit alone in the middle of the room and make anyone visiting blurt out, “BUT WHY?”

And then came the all too familiar trickle of racist bullshit including several different copies of Little Black Sambo proudly on display. This quickly devolved into a case and a half of Nazi bullshit. We sighed. I didn’t bother taking a photo. Honestly this sight just made me tired. More helmets, more random loot, more shiny swastikas. Some things should just stay in the past, dead and forgotten. If only.

We then took a trip into the basement which had some more bargain finds. Things started to get more delightfully bizarre from there starting with more creepy dolls including a decapitated ventriloquist dummy, his head sitting on his lap??? Probably by no small coincidence this is the same area of the shop I kept seeing a cat sized void of color darting about at our feet like it was keeping tabs on us. I never give attention to weird shadows and phantoms, though I see them fairly regularly. In a place like this they could be attached to any one of these artifacts, its a hazard of the trade. I made no note of its existence as I ambled onward.

Back upstairs again and I was greeted with a whole cabinet of fruit shaped kitchen ware, an absolutely darling dresser painted to look like the front of a Volkswagen bus, the head of a manniken all punked out with a Christmas light Mohawk, and of course who could forget the absolutely terrifying leather gorilla in attack position with glinting white teeth or the worst doctored nude I have ever seen? A black and white photo of a topless woman with tattoos randomly cut and pasted over the image, I hope in the days before photo shop was a thing because WOW that wasn’t fooling anyone.

This was a nice way to top off the adventure we already had next door. Sort of like a happy bonus!

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Antique Marketplace Putney Connecticut

It seems like every time I feel like we’ve seen it all something else pops up that’s amazing and weird and 100% worth the long drive. That’s what happened when we drove up to yet another antique store (waiting for the warm weather to open up some outside options.)

We’d been to so many antique stores but this one was settled in the center of an old mill city and was HUUUUGE and clearly not what this space was originally used for. It meandered for what seemed miles with weird nooks, corners, rooms, entire whole floors, and the antiques were absolutely bonkers. SO MUCH WEIRD.

We stopped by this salt and pepper shaker shaped like a monk and a nun and my companion asked, “Why does it look like a pod person whose soul has been sucked out?” I couldn’t hold back the nervous half-triggered laugh of some one whose watched and been scarred by The Dark Crystal.

The day had been full of our fun little games: How Racist is this? You Know What a ____ Looks Like Right? And of course, What the Fuck is That?! My companion has roped in a gaggle of D&Ders to enjoy these games with us, taking photos and sharing them to long distance giggles and bewilderment. Initially what started all this was the fact this place was full to the brim with nightmare fuel.

I have become accustomed to haunted dolls but even I was alarmed to find a set of toddler twins still in their perspective boxes, complete with a menacing grin, more than a little side eye and their own bundle of red balloons looking like twin baby Its. Stephen King would be proud.

The creepy dolls were endless. There were ancient dolls with cracked faces, doll heads in tea cups, and even a cabbage patch doll head – sold separately from its body! I never knew they were sometimes sold by the head.

But there was also a ton of terrifying masks and paper mache creations that’d put the fear of Piñata in you. It was also a day for chasmatic chairs – including a solid mahogany shitter. The label said “throne.” This was near a three foot tall anthropomorphic poodle holding a serving tray, a pancaked pheasant on a wall mount, a candle holder that was actually half a gold horse leaping out of the wall, and painting I could only describe as, “A conversation piece.” To which my companion retorted, “Yeah, if you want every conversation to start with ‘What the fuck is that?!'”

We were in this one mall for hours. I kinda wish I was a picker and knew what I was looking at… or had a house and some money to invest in some more conversation pieces. Someday I’ll have a home of my own, at the end of a dirt road, and half the town’s children will think I’m a witch. Their parents will tell them to stay away from my house after walking into it one day and realizing a huggable baby baphomet sitting above the coat rack was the most normal thing they saw there. I look forward to this. To being “eccentric.”

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Purgatory Chasm & Love Lock Bridge – Newport Rhode Island

Sometimes you just got to get out of the house, get some fresh air, and poke at something with a stick. Maybe a dead bird. Just kidding, this adventure didn’t involve any dead birds.

This was another adventure in nostalgia where my companion tried to remember somewhere from twenty plus years ago enjoyed in the haze of mispent youth. I’m more than happy to oblige because I was a VERY well behaved youth who was monitored and controlled more than a felon with an ankle bracelet and it’s nice to see what freedom must have been like back in the day.

This time around I was treated to Purgatory Chasm, not the more well known one in Massachusetts but the one no one’s heard of in Newport Rhode Island. It’s so obscure the parking lot is tiny and only good for a half an hour of parking. There was however a handicapped space… in case you wanted to take your wheelchair bound buddies to a heavily rooted hill and an oceanside cliff for no particular or heavily insured reason.

Purgatory Chasm itself is only a hop, skip, and clumsy trip away from the parking lot and it reminded me a lot of Thunder Hole up in Maine, just smaller and somewhat less thundery. It still made a pretty good whooshing locomotive sound when the waves came in. I can totally imagine my nervy Puritian ancestors pointing to the noise growling from the rocks and declaring it must be the devil. Curiously although Heaven was always above for these people Hell always seemed to be here on earth – you can tell because they named half the land here Purgatory something-or-other.

Beyond the chasm there was also a lovely little love lock bridge my companion wasn’t even aware of. Clearly others had as it was FULL of locks, some of which had hearts and names carved into them, most of which were rusted to high hell because unlike other more famous love lock bridges this one was likely constantly sprayed with saltwater.

A few weedy little trails led to a handful of observation points that gave a pretty view of the beach off to one side, a weird sea monster looking set of rocks in the water and lots of ocean. There was also a tiny tree stump that had a heart shaped center ring that made me believe it may have been a Giving Tree – loving its people even while they were cutting it down. The scenery was beautiful but also clearly a lover’s nest reminding me just a bit of the beach the main characters of Wristcutters: A Love Story woke up on. If you’ve seen that movie you’re probably screaming just a little bit, if you haven’t you should totally watch it. It’s way more wholesome than the title infers, I swear! It’s dark comedy at its finest.

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Hobart Village Mall Antiques – West Townsend Massachusetts

This week it was time to amble around a few places a little closer to home than usual. I had no idea this one even existed but it sounded promising, I mean when you put village and mall in the title it implies something of decent size. It closed at 5PM though so we went to this one first after waking from a stress-induced coma. This would be the perfect little outing to take our minds off of *vaguely gestures at everything.*

When we got there the sign was very beaten and battered, clearly well aged, and almost covered by a mud-spattered snowbank. Tis the season! The parking lot was confusing and seemed to go right past someone’s driveway. And the building? Just as decrepit looking as their sign. I muttered, “We’re about to be serial killed, aren’t we?” To which my companion tried to lighten the mood by pointing out we weren’t the only car there. THANK GOD.

I was expecting the worse. Really, like another Cookie’s. But low and behold as we walked in the change in scenery was stark! Inside the rooms were well lit, perfectly painted, and all sorts of well thought out displays. Lots of room for each object to really shine and mixed among them all were these “replica” furniture made from what I can only assume was local trees and branches. You know, perfect if you’re going for that rustic look.

I didn’t even look at the price tags on this place because everything looked so clean and proper I knew it’d be out of my budget. And the things we found were very unique! One was a cast iron horse from a child-size carousel made in the 1920’s. It had lost all its coloration over the years and looked just as desperate and wanting as the old cast iron pans you see everywhere. But if you were looking for carousels of better quality there was a whole room of them! We also found a gorgeous French bronze clock depicting a naked Promethius in chains, I guess being punished for that whole giving fire to humanity scandal, a series of French posters, a series of signed prints from artists I wasn’t familiar with, some old probably haunted portraits, the customary smattering of possessed dolls, and a Victrola with a wooden horn! I’ve seen lots of phonographs in my day, some with horns, but never wooden. MY GOODNESS.

We left without buying anything but hey, if you’re in the area and happen to be monied and love purchasing some very unique antiques this place is well worth a little lookie-loo.

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Fab Finds – Foxboro Massachusetts

On yet another jaunt into the great blue yonder we happened by Fab Finds listed as an antique store. Though quaint and charming I wouldn’t have personally categorized it as such. It was more a country decore kinda of place with well arranged displays highlighting a number of quirky babbles, folk art, wall hangings, and a smattering of furniture. The place had a deffinate vibe. Think country chic meets grandma core with a few degrees of fairly moneyed queer kitch. Lots of bedazzled things, lots of little ponderous objects that seemed their own statements of confused wonder. I took a photo of a cherub head looking ominously from the center of the room. One of my companions took a close up photo of the same cherub and it looked… innocent. It was a fun and spontaneous game of Perspective!

Would I suggest this place? If you happen to be in or near Foxboro and this is the vibe of your abode sure! Check it out. Otherwise maybe not. It was VERY niche.

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Puggy’s Keene New Hampshire

Keene is such a cute little hippie college town that I love to visit and see what else I can find. Puggy’s has been on my list for a while but every time I try to find it something distracts my attention. Well not this time!

It’s listed as an antique store but that’s not really the feel I got when I walked in. I mean sure, I was immediately greeted by an absolutely delicious collection of classic 1960’s rock vinyls but beyond that this store was more a hippie shop. It had Greatful Dead tee shirts, a corner for cool shiny rocks, a bunch of fidget toys, and yes some retro toys and another room full of more antique-y things which for the most part were joyfully bizarre. This seemed like a little bit of everything and it was run by an adorable old hippie woman who clearly knew everyone on a first name basis. An unlikely cornerstone of the community which makes me so happy to see as I feel in the American landscape these gathering places are increasingly rare.

So if you live in Keene or nearby deffinately check this place out. Also check it out if you’re into classic rock vinyls because there were four separate vendors specializing in this and they had a delightful assortment. Bowie, T-rex, Deep Purple, local legend Country Joe and the Fish. I could drop SO MUCH money here buying vinyls!

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