New Orleans

Good old New Orleans, how could I forget America’s home to Voodoo, ghost tours, beloved vampire writers, and Mardi Gras? I decided to start my little journey by heading towards the famous French Quarters, a magical place where diaper-wearing horses pull carts around the streets. No no, I ended up parking comfortably near the French Quarter for $14 and I walked around. I was in search of a skirt… you know one of those airy ankle-length ones that they apparently don’t sell in the South… and to be quite frank they don’t sell skirts period down here. Whhhy?! It’s so frickin’ hot you’d think everyone would be wearing them! I would settle for an ankle length sundress of course but all the ones here went to your knees and were made of hot materials. It made no sense. I weaved in out of Voodoo shops as a reward for sticking it out and trying to find a skirt, a abysmal activity if there ever were one. Skulls abounded.

I stopped wherever it looked interesting, or just air conditioned in the case of the Magaritaville, apparently a whole parrothead-inspired margarita-flinging bar. I only stayed in its stoop for a few minutes so I could go on. In the meantime mules and horses clacked by with their tourist carriages telling of pirates and voodoo priestesses. I passed by the Voodoo priestesses’ bar and her little voodoo shop. I may have gone in there if a bunch of locals weren’t in the stoop debating something.

After I walked around the main part of the French Quarters I meandered up to Bourbon Street for shits and giggles, figured it’d be interesting people watching if nothing else. That was interesting to say the least! The first thing I stumbled upon was a seedy cabaret with a barker out front. I looked him dead in the eye to see if he’d still make his pitch and laughed when at first hesitated but then actually did! I walked by, obviously. I had no idea the States even had cabarets. Seems such an odd thing to me, bet you they probably named it such to make it sound more interesting than it actually was. In any event I walked past a lot of little strip joints and whatnot, a great deal of them with cutesy little names like The Cat’s Meow. I passed by pubs, bars, and other liquor friendly little nooks, some reading, “two drink minimum,” which seemed more than a tad bit odd. Apparently there was no room for responsible drivers here.

It was a scalding hot day and I had to take time out to lather myself up with sun screen in a public courtyard. I was melting. I ended up back in the French Market scouring the area for a cold non-alcoholic drink when in the spirit of trying new things I also bought a praline. Good thing I only bought one… it was really rather sweet, to a fault. Will not be trying that again.

I had a lot of fun just wandering around. The streets weren’t that busy, the people were friendly, and there was a lemon piper playing classic jazz on sax down at the piers. Every time a dollar was donated this hilarious musician would holler, “Thanks big guy! Have a great day!” before going right back to the same note he left off on. I didn’t come by anyone with a thick New Orleans accent either, which was fortunate as that’s probably the only US accent even I can’t translate.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

The Italian Market – Philadelphia PA

Katherine and I walked down a little ethnic street market near Pat’s after this. They were selling everything here from cheap dollar store crap to live pigeons and fruit I’ve never seen in my life (sadly unlabeled, though I think one was a pawpaw.) The most bizarre part of this was all the street signs advertising various meats… instead of reading “fresh pork” they had cartoonish paintings of pigs wielding meat cleavers or smiling. There was something slightly off with that… I only found one sign with three melancholy animals sadly looking downwards. One looked suspiciously like a poodle though I guess it was supposed to be a sheep.

It was a nice walk with interesting people, different things to pick at. There was even a place selling old vinyls for a buck a piece. Neither of us felt like carrying anything so we merely poked at them a bit. It was a good way to get rid of our cheese steaks too. By the time we were done walking our little lunch was riding safely in our bellies.

We walked a little bit from here to reach the subway which we were on and off of all day. Somewhere along the route we ran into a woman walking a dog that I swear was a cross between a pit bull and a Jack Russell. Ugliest little thing I have ever seen! But he seemed well behaved. The people on the other hand… most were friendly and docile but there was one guy yelling at his little 3-4ish year old son for crying. “If you keep crying you’re going to bed!” Kid was crying about his leg hurting, he just wanted to be picked up for Christ’s sake, you’re right in front of your place of residence, just pick the damn thing up! I’m bad with kids but even I knew this one… small children make for crappy walking companions, expect to have to carry them. I suppose bad parenting is everywhere. Got into a discussion about how people who would be good parents never seem to be able to have children or don’t want any. I know I sure don’t want any, especially after going to the Mutter Museum and seeing what happens with other little bundles of joy who happen to be genetic fuck-ups. I know my family’s genetics are completely wonky, why tempt Murphy?

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


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