Alas, I have found another antique store I feel like I should have already known about. This one appeared from the outside to be a metal warehouse. On the inside it was aisle after aisle of antiques from dozens of different vendors. This reminded me a lot of my first antiquing adventures in Maine.
Most of the merchandise here was relatively new and nostalgic (and you have to know how damn old it makes me feel to pick up a VHS tape, a rotary phone, or cassette player and know not only are these things now considered antiques but kids these days HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE.) As an elder millennial I’m not immune to the odd Ninja Turtle or particularly weird beanie baby. And this is the sort of place one finds these things, guarded by a swarm of haunted dolls as is tradition.
I was also happy to find lots of vendors were selling affordable vinyl records, most of the classic rock of the 60’s/70’s/80’s variety. These weren’t pristine by any means, most the covers looked very well loved but this is these are the sort of bins you can start a collection of your own with or perhaps find a diamond in the rough. My companion gave a nervous laugh at the fact Bill Cosby’s stand up was still in one of them. Yep, funny thing he’s been everywhere since we learned what a massive twatwaffle he is. And judging by the prices people aren’t really buying it.
Unfortuneately the melting snow outside was staring a puddle in front of what used to be a garage sized door. My companion made sure to tell the staff who seemed less than thrilled with this discovery, though still thanked us for pointing it out.
I may be back to this place for some more rummaging. It’s large enough that there’s a good possibility of finding something interesting with every visit.
Another day, another small exploration. After exhausting all the antique stores in the area it seemed only logical to move onto thrift stores so we checked out this one.
It was a cute little store off a busy street. Initially upon entering I didn’t see much and pondered if this place just opened. No, it was just lacking baubles (save from some creepy dolls and clown bric-a-bracs which are to be expected.) Several other rooms were less underwhelming. One was dedicated to old books and clothes. It wasn’t much but there was an entire aisle dedicated to flannel which is really weird because flannel is so… not Newport. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone wear flannel here. Not even ironically. Still, this thrift store probably just knew it’s clientele. Thrifty lesbians. They make up a huge section of customers at any good thrift store- except the Salvation Army because they’ve made it their goal to be absolute dicks to the gay community, even going so far as to fund anti-gay and anti-trans legislation. Fuck em’ these little independently owned thrift stores are where it’s at anyway.
To prove my point the furniture here was VERY decently priced! I didn’t see anything over $200 and there was some nice pieces! Just look at this funky green chair. $68. I’m not going to lie, if I had a place of my own and was in need of a weird chair it would have come home with me.
The second antique store we attempted to check out today was actually the first as well. We drove into the wrong side of the parking lot and ended up at some other place that was closed. We then left and after looking at a photo of the place decided that’s not where we were and returned. The other side of the parking lot indeed had a store that was open and it was… interesting.
This place was CRAMPED. Just furniture and random things everywhere. Really reminded me of the junk shops in Maine or just living with a hoarder! I can’t really blame the guy though. It appears the place is run by one older gentleman who takes in new merchandise almost on the daily all by himself.
As such this place could have had some gems. You just never know. This place had a lot of model cars and an unhealthy amount of likely haunted wall paintings and photos. All mixed among a whole herd of grandfather clocks. I found a really decent birdcage for $75 and a vaguely body sized travelling trunk for $30. And a series of boxes made in the style of Old Timey soap which I still can’t figure out if they were satire or not.
As claustrophobic as this place was I still think it was a good place to check out. I didn’t go home with anything but the guy working the shop said the inventory was always changing so who knows. Might be a fun place to re-check if we find ourselves back in the area.
We’ve been to the Clinton Antique Center before but it was such a large place that it was worth another visit a few months later. And this time didn’t disappoint!
If you read about my previous visit you may remember this place as the antique center where I found a booth FULL of Nazi shit. Like real Nazi things used by actual Nazis probably during World War II. You may be happy to note that although it looks like the same dealer may be selling in his usual booth all the Nazi shit was gone. Hopefully because of public backlash because that level of bad mojo shouldn’t just be hanging out in public spaces. There was however still a whole booth dedicated to racist black memorabilia just around the corner which had one of the most heinous prints I’ve ever seen of a little black boy screaming as a goose clamps down on his most tender of bits which apparently were through a glory hole?! Now this says nothing about black people but the needless sexualization of a SMALL BOY as well as the flagrant racism says much more about the artist! WHAT A CREEPY ASS OLD MAN HE MUST HAVE BEEN. Good riddance.
But really this shop had a lot less offensive material than in previous visits. Most of it this time seemed to be directed at indigenous Americans. You know Indian rubber pull dolls and cigar statues and whatnot. There was also a lot of fun stuff like – a fox who seemed delighted to be taxidermied, a boar head that looked like it was used for testing cosmetics before being put on someone’s wall, a CAST IRON BICYCLE which must have been so fun to ride, many many creepy clowns, a lot of dolls giving an obscene amount of side-eye, and of course a whole bookshelf of books that had titles which aged very badly. Every one of them was a modern innuendo and I was in stitches going through them starting with Scouts in Bondage, Wooden Willie, and Memorable Balls. Seriously, if I lived in a place large enough for a bookshelf or a coffee table I would have been on these like shivers on a Chihuahua. Just hilarious.
It was well worth the revisit! And I am very happy they pulled the Nazi bullshit off the shelves. If that is to be sold at all it should be under great suspicion behind the scenes.
We were on our way back home when I decided on a whim to take the exit to Fairfield and check out what was advertised to be the largest antique mall in Maine. When I drove in I immediately recognized the place but it took until we got inside for my companion to do so as well. In a previous trip up to these parts we had managed to stop by a mere half an hour before closing so only got to scratch the surface of this delightful iceberg. But today we had a few hours to spare!
And so we walked into what was indeed a huge antique mall filled with vendors of every kind. It was so big in fact that we quickly lost track of each other as I lagged behind mucking about with some wax cylinders. There was a whole swarm of them and I was intrigued. But he was ahead of me and ventured into the basement before I knew where he was headed and I ended up going upstairs. We’d eventually meet up again but it was amusing to see what different things we saw and what caught both of our attention.
Before we separated we found an “apple doll” which is I guess a doll whose head is a whole dried apple? Only thing was this apple was from 1960 and had LONG since gone off. The little rotted core was all that was left and the doll’s dress I am sure wasn’t covered in blood stains but boy did it look like it was! We both declared this terrifying item cursed and refused to touch it. And that wasn’t the only terrifying doll. This place was loaded! In fact I found a basket labelled, “Basket of creepy dolls $30” in the basement and almost fell for it. I took a photo of the most cracked little baby face and wandered off to think about whether or not I wanted to take it, the torched corpse of another baby doll, and the various other parts in that basket home. What stopped me? Probably the fact the basket MOVED in the 15 minutes I wandered off. Was in a totally different spot in the booth! Uhmmmm…. OK, so I love creepy dolls but I draw a line with the ones that move on their own.
The rest of the shop had all kinds of fun finds – chickens galore! And rusty signs, and odd artifacts, probably haunted paintings and prints, weird books, clowns on parade, and old food cannisters from god knows when. Oh, and possibly the most offensive minstrel poster we’ve ever found. I think that one won the category for Most Racist Shit We’ve Ever Found [black] To Date. On my own I also found The Most Racist Shit We’ve Ever Found [Indigenous American.] It was a painting of a Native American, clad only in loin cloth, warming himself next to a fire, a pompously dressed Englishman behind him looking down like “this poor dumb savage” with the caption “Doh Wah Jack Heap Warm.” Shame I don’t get any prizes for this HORRIBLE game we play. I am happy to note the amount of racist bullshit here was actually pretty light, it was just what was here was pretty intense.
The rest of the shop had something for everyone. There were a few victrolas, some retro tourist things, lots of chickens, some rusty signs, a great deal of well-done taxidermy, a taxidermied bobcat that looked… not like a bobcat. That’s not to mention the pottery, weird books, beautiful glass, and Victrola and vinyl records everywhere! I would have brought home a sealed Badfinger album but I didn’t have $40 on me. I guess it would have been worth flipping… maybe next time! My companion did come home with a fidget. He says it’s a zippo but it’s grainy in texture and impossible not to play with sooo…. one man’s zippo is another man’s fidget.
Anyway, this was a lot of fun, took us quite a while to work through, and I would definitely go again.
In desperate need of a change of scenery we loaded up our bags and the cat and set off for the great state of Maine to watch a blizzard and go antique shopping afterwards. It was a break everyone needed in their souls and the antique stores didn’t disappoint!
The first one we ended up at was Elmer’s Barn in Cooper’s Mills Maine. We ended up there after stopping briefly into a favorite haunt Hussy’s General Store which was less than ten minutes away. Sadly, they did not have any Bigfoot pillows so we left to meander our way to the antique store to satiate our desire for strange things.
I’d never been to Elmer’s Barn but it boasted of four floors of the unique and unusual and the parking lot seemed to agree with this stance. There were random weird large artifacts scattered around and a cluster of hens with their gorgeous rooster just chilling at the entrance, pecking around, doing chicken things. Their eggs were on sale inside. Now that – I could really support. Love me some random free-range chickens!
Inside the first thing I noticed was in various nooks and corners there were terrifying taxidermy in little hats. Why? Because why not. A penguin, a gopher, an ermine, a caribou, and even a bear. That was a good start!
Obviously, it was a great place to continue playing my two favorite antique store games trying to find the creepiest dolls and the most racist bullshit we could muster. This place was unique because in addition to a very light smattering of minstrel-y black memorabilia there was also a suuuuper antisemitic print hanging on the wall. This would be a first for me. Antisemitism is definitely a thing but weirdly in the US it’s not really immediately apparent in any media like the mammie dolls and such are. This form of bigotry seems more reliant on coded language and conspiracy theories than visual representations. You know… “lizard people” running the government and Jewish space lasers…. truly batshit things.
Funny enough the other racist artifacts were mostly hidden and there weren’t many of them although I did find the most unique mammie to date. Her head lifted to reveal she functioned as a creamer! When I was done poking at that I moved on to the dolls… there was a nice variety of creepy dolls. And better still everything I picked up seemed very decently priced. I ended up bringing home two metal car banks from the 1970’s for $10 and $15 and two big hardcover volumes of National Geographic spanning several months in 1918 and 1920. I don’t know anything about them but they sure were interesting! And humbling… to see a whole volume dedicated to how the only World War was finally over… followed by a long article about how to racially profile various European ethnic groups… I’m sure that didn’t cause any problems later on. *COUGH COUGH* Meanwhile my companion took a fancy to $10.50 worth of Disney merchandise. He grew up in the middle classes which seem to really dig that stuff. I grew up poor in the woods with a bunny ear TV, three channels, and a mother who’d tell us to go play outside if we were bored. As such I have shockingly little references to anything Disney but I enjoy his passion nonetheless and was in full support of this purchase.
After this we had to wade through a GREAT DEAL of mud to get back to the car and I may have completely caked my new kicks and bellbottoms. SIGH. All and all it was a wonderful excursion and I have added it to my list of placed to check out again.
