Tag: tourist

Windsor Ruins – Mississippi

In Mississippi I went to the Windsor Ruins. Apparently this absolutely enormous building was built as the largest Greek Revival mansion in the state. It only stood for a few years before it burned from the top down leaving nothing but 24 eerie columns. I tried to go after dark (against park rules) but didn’t make it. Still it was oddly impressive, nestled in some rugged and wild country. It was quiet and so peaceful out there. The columns reached towards the sky with a little plant growing on one. Some of them were crumbled and I guess the metal stairway that was left after the flames was taken by a local church. It was a bit weird in the sense it felt like I was looking at a Greek ruin in the middle of frickin’ Mississippi.

As I left I noticed a dirt road, apparently going to nowhere. Seeing as the road I was supposed to take was closed due to flooding the decision was made to try this one. I travelled farther and farther down this road as it got increasingly worse. It got narrower, the path got more bumpy. It looked like the last travelers through here might have been in a Conestoga wagon. Then, as if I was on some sort of crazy safari I saw something dash across the road at such an alarming speed that I couldn’t even come close to identifying the wee beast. I turned around and took the path more travelled.

As it turns out I think I figured out what the strange blur I saw was. Apparently armadillos are a small, probably mythological, southern creatures with the armor of centipede and the speed of light. I had been wanting to see a live one and in all the photos they look so placid and even slow.. HA! Wrong! I also got to see two deer cross the road and it was broad daylight.

I took lots of photos of the scenery because it was just gorgeous down that way with gorges filled with greenery and vines wrapping around trees. It was a strange landscape. On my way out I came across yet another roadblock, this time on a main highway. I stopped and a very young officer asked, “So where y’all trying to go?” Apparently, “I don’t know.” isn’t a great answer to give someone. He picked up his little list of places to go and ventured a guess, “Arkansas? And you’re taking which highway?” “Uhhh…. Let me see…” This time the GPS was consulted and the cop just started laughing. “Oh you got a Garmin. I had one of those. She told me to drive straight into a lake once.” Comforting thought! Thanks! Apparently the Big Black River had overflowed and I had to go literally an hour out of our way to get back on track.

When I got back into town, and after passing this particular gas station three or four times trying to find an addressless ghost town, I stopped in to fill up. The locals were ever so helpful… “You trying to get to Vicksburg? We saw you pass by a few times…” Great, now I’m being watched! SIGH. Can’t do anything conspicuously these days.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Mystic Caves – Arkansas

I am not sure why I went to the Mystic Caves… it’s not as if they were world famous or anything. I mean as far as caves go this one was taking a bit of a piss but in the spirit of writing down every adventure here I go…

I was guided through both Mystic Caves. During the first tour I was with a small group of quiet adults and I took time to listen to the guide and take photos. Apparently the cave was used by local Indians who found one of the chambers sacred and used some slime growing on the wall for medicinal reasons.. Then the white man came along and used it as a moonshine distillery during prohibition… at which time they sooted up the ceilings, broke off a lot of the stalactites to sell during the depression, annnd caused damage when their distillery just up and exploded one day. The place was a mess, a great illustration of how destructive man is, but little else. It was also tiny.. and the staff kept naming the formations after food. “This is our wedding cake, over there is our carrot patch and don’t miss the curly fries!” There was however a number of fossils embedded in the ceiling so go fossils! Woo! I’m sure they were edible once…

Our guide ended the tour by telling us some hogwash story about a monkey being brought down in the cave and then getting stuck to the ceiling somehow. There was indeed something gnarly-looking dangling from the ceiling but a monkey it was not. Everyone listened like, “yeah whatever.” Our guide kept pausing midsentence, as if he were expecting us to say something or laugh. We were a boring bunch and didn’t.

The Chrystal Dome was a little better. It was only recently discovered, in the late 1960’s, and only on active tours since the 1980’s. It was only one set of stairs to the bottom of the dome where you could look up and see intact stalactites and stalagmites starting to form on the floor. This time we were accompanied by a Biblical swarm of 13-14 year old Christian boys, either boy scouts or from some boys only Christian school, who the hell knows. They all had flashlights and were fairly loud and obnoxious. Our tour guide said very little about what was actually known about the cave, instead he started telling stories about a guard Yorkie who got stuck in the rocks, and then a guard turkey, and then a guard alligator, and then a fucking octopus. I wandered off and took photos on my own of this weird slimy orange thing I found, too old to be amused by this, though on the way out I did see the Virgin Mary but I guess that’s to be expected. She’s everywhere.  Our tour guide merely called her an angry wife, pointing to another formation that looked like a guy and two critters, dogs or fish depending on which story you could visualize. Coolest thing here was a little salamander in the rocks and a wolf spider nearly as big, both of which were actually real…

Though it was amusing I doubt I would suggest this cave to anyone outside the local area. There are just a lot of better caves to go to and $14.50 a person seems a bit steep for such a little place. In any event the gift shop was beautiful, had amazing minerals, rocks, and fossils.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Arkansas’ Largest Natural Bridge

I saw a number of really huge signs aside the highway reading, “Arkansas’ largest natural bridge!” How could I not want to follow them like a lamb to slaughter? So I took the heavy, overloaded Jeep, and pursued a dirt road that zigzagged in every direction worse than San Fran’s famous Lombard Street. Did I mention it was a mountain road so I was also going down hill at an increasingly uncomfortable angle. I think the Jeep may have been crying, or at least slightly whimpering. Jeeps are tough after all.

Finally I ended up at a tiny ramshackle little mock-up of a pioneer house and a tiny parking lot. Where’s the bridge? I walked in and the attendant, a young guy, jumped up seemingly all happy to see another living soul. He rattled off everything there was to see here and the $5 fee. Then he instructed me to sign the guestbook and seemed not to know what to say next so I meandered out, only after noticing that in the middle of the day I was the only visitor here and had come from the farthest distance by a long shot. I walked out and saw the little recreation of an Ozark classic, the moonshining still, complete with scary wax figurine armed with a shotgun. Above there was another pioneer house, complete with artifacts from the era, including a coffee grinder the size of a dormitory fridge. There was even an antique fly trap! It looked remarkably like a hanging beekeeper’s hat.

So I walked out down this path in the middle of the woods and there it was, signs reading, “Do not climb or cross bridge! Stay on path!” Above that of course was a strange site, a bridge made of stone, a seemingly natural formation but still somewhat unsettling as it did indeed look like an intended bridge. I took a few snaps, walked up the path as far as I could, goofed around a bit, and came back.. Interesting detour.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Getting Out of Florida

Waking up in Key Largo I decided I should spend the day trying to get out of the state of Florida. I drove all day past palm trees, past glitz, past swamps. I saw short fat palm trees, casinos, tall thin palm trees, tourist beaches, coconut palm trees, tourists traps, palm tree nurseries, and in the end I was happy to drive out of there. Shortly before I reached the border I drove through this little town advertising a new store, opened only a few days, it was like a farmer’s market type deal. I had to stop though because over the front of it was a large sign reading, “hot boiled peanuts.”

What are hot boiled peanuts? Apparently they’re exactly that. I had to try some as that sounded ghastly terrible.

There was one middle aged woman sitting there looking a bit put off, perhaps due to a lack of customers or perhaps due to the intense heat and lack of air conditioning ability in a building with no walls.

“So what is this I hear about boiled peanuts?” I said, “I’m from NH, I wanted to try them…”

“Well they’re warm and salted. Here, I don’t want you to buy anything you don’t like.” She handed me two nuts. The shells were soggy, moist, and warm. I slipped out the little meaty nut part and took an adventurous bite.  It was like a tiny glob of mashed potatoes in a shell, with the hint of peanut taste. Maybe this was because aside from the meal I ate at Keren’s I was missing hot food, maybe it was because I was desperate for something different besides the PB&J’s I was sustaining myself with but either way, the boiled peanuts were amazing.

“Oh I really like them!” I exclaimed. A surprised, “Really?!” came from the woman selling it to me. I bought a big saggy wet and warm bag of them. Delicious.

“Usually I can guess people’s reactions…” The woman said. I laughed. I bought a cup of the things. She explained they’re usually eaten with soft drinks and are made from raw immature peanuts, unlike the fully grown roasted ones I was used to. I sat in the car picking at them for quite awhile until the large foam cup was nearly empty. This was my second southern food and my second success. Good thing I wasn’t about to try any chitterlings.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Exploring the Florida Keys

Key Largo was gorgeous. In the morning when I packed up I took my sweet time reorganizing the Jeep and then stopped at The Shell Store. This place had shells of every kind and color in enormous buckets as well as any kind of tourist memorabilia you could ask for. I ended up buying a little turtle made out of various tiny sea shells for a dollar. It’s cute.

I continued onward discussing whether or not to take a glass bottomed boat tour. I should probably mention that besides being afraid of large boney fish I have always said I wouldn’t get on a sea-going boat, not even if I were paid… but having continuously dipped my feet in the warm waters I somehow felt more relaxed about the idea… and besides there were wild corals here, I hadn’t gotten to see any of those. I decided to go for it, but first I’d drive to Key West, the farthest of the islands. I passed Duck Key and Cow Key and Ramrod Key and all the darn keys, stopping at two beaches. One was rocky and amazing, covered in fossilized coral rocks (far to big to pick up and drag off unfortunately) and another beach which smelled really bad and consisted of 50% seaweed and 50% trash and debris. This place was almost as bad as the Wristcutter’s [a Love Story] beach! It was really bad… I was quite put off by it and the rest of Key West. The island was so full of people and cramped, such a tourist trap. It advertised it was the birthplace of the Sloppy Joe and had pubs and bars every two buildings, hotels the rest. I only stopped when I came upon a strange site… what appeared to be a brick ruin. It was what I came for… and there, sitting snidely across from a horse-drawn hearse and in front of oodles of fan mail was Robert the Doll himself, three feet worth of plushie terror. He was ADORABLE. I probably should explain… You see Robert is probably the original haunted doll. He was said to be made by an angry servant of the Otto family who practiced voodoo. He was named after the little boy (later renowned artist) he was given to and apparently held such a powerful grip on the growing lad that he never abandoned the doll, claiming that “Robert did it!” whenever anything bad would happen. The doll was said to pace, to glower out the window at children, to make evil giggles, to throw around furniture and to haunt people… You name it this doll does it! I can’t say I know the work of his owner, Robert Eugene Otto, but I have been delighted by his doll since I was ten or so. As per custom I asked the doll if I could take a photo and did so, taking the chance we could be cursed… We bought a magnet at the gift shop and perused the place. They had a whole collection of Edward Gorey stuff including The Hapless Child, perhaps because of the child-terrorizing doll in it. They even had a book on his home, the Elephant House, bizarre considering he was a Massachusetts resident, not Florida… Then again they had a book on Hemmingway’s cats, yet another Massachusetts thing. Who knows! Still, anyone adoring Gorey has got my attention.

Sooo… after that I hit the next glass bottomed boat place I could find. It was 1:35 and I literally missed it by five minutes. I decided not to wait around, to find another. I didn’t find another until I was back in Key Largo, seventy something miles away, and I was fortunate enough to just get in on time to take the last boat tour of the day. I filed onto the boat annnnd… was told there’d be a delay…  The woman next to us looked on horrified, as if we’d just struck an ice burg here in the harbor. Our captain came up soon after and said she thought they’d fixed the problem. Then the motors started going and two seconds later we hear screaming from down under, two men yelling, “SHIT! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!” Our captain started to stamp violently on the deck, signaling ever-so-delicately to stop shouting, you’re freaking out the tourists. We were told something else was broke and we’d have to be refunded. I left… without seeing to corals and shipwreck promised, without being able to have the chance to glimpse a casual shark or dolphin. Sad, very sad. Could it be Robert?

I left and decided I should at the very least get a good piece of pie out of this trip, Key Lime Pie… I was dubious. Except for one occasion all the lemon meringue pies I ever had were ghastly terrible, I figured lime pie would be the same… I ordered the prettiest piece of pie I’ve ever seen, decorated with swirls of whipped cream and sauce. It was actually really good! And the ice cold water that went with it was a luxury I hadn’t realized I’d missed quite so much. I drank like a camel in an oasis.

The only other memorable part of the drive was when I saw some deer aside the road, four does grazing. I didn’t realize until later they were endangered Key Deer. How cool is that? I saw something endangered alive and running around… like the feral chickens roaming the streets of Key West I couldn’t explain.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

 

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Air Boat Ride in the Everglades – Florida

I decided I should really hit the Everglades and take a look around. I’d yet to see any alligators in Florida and I thought I might see one on an airboat tour. Keren told me about the Miccosukee Indian Village. I travelled from her house to the Miccosukee Casino, the closest thing my GPS could offer. I’d had a hell of a time trying to get the GPS to recognize the address and now I was at the Casino and there was a gas station offering airboat rides. I was adamant I needed to travel further out of the city and into the swamp, that the Miccosukee probably lived in the middle of nowhere, where I wanted to be! I was right; I drove past at least eight other airboat places until I started hitting all the Miccosukee shops and their air boat tours. I was just in time for their last boat out. I forked over $32. As I waited I saw the mother of all alligators swim by, easily twice the size the Carolina ones. He or she was HUGE but swam by too fast to take a good photo. There were a few baby ones near the shore as well as an assortment of odd birds.

I got onto the boat with several other tourists, including an adorable old German woman who seemed super excited. I don’t know what she was saying but it amused me how happy she seemed. Almost everyone was wearing hats, hats that all went flying when the boat was turned on. My bandana stayed on my head almost until the very end. Bobby pins are amazing. The boat was ungodly loud and the other passengers all seemed to have earplugs but I didn’t mind it so much. For some odd reason I’d entered some sort of Zen state and was fine with everything, completely relaxed. Life was good.

I saw lots of birds, cranes and little duck like creatures who were stout and didn’t run too fast when they saw the boat headed at them. I boated past many many birds until I ended up at a mock Indian Village in the middle of the swamp. The whole place was on stilts. I don’t know how anyone managed to build it but there was only one woman there selling beadwork and various Miccosukee made jewelry. I took some time to stare at the water off the sides of the village. There were all sorts of odd little creatures, mostly tiny fish and storks. Then I saw a fish that was maybe eight inches long for a split second. It darted off into the muck so fast that all it left behind was a trail of mud clouds. It was likely a baby gar. I’m still vibrantly freaked out by large boney fish… alligator gar are one of the biggest growing in the US.

So ten minutes loitering and I was back on the boat. I sat quietly and just enjoyed the ride. I went into what I can only call an alligator nursery. Here alligators up to half grown ones were swimming around in a swarm. Some were sunning themselves. Many darted away from the boat coming at them while still others hit the bottom of the boat rushing by when it was lying still. Those suckers were strong! The driver riled them up as much as he could to drive more of them to the surface for photos. They seemed mildly annoyed. There were signs everywhere not to try petting the alligators as if this was a common concern with them being so damn fluffy and cuddly! Funny enough our driver didn’t yell at anyone attempting to do just this. He was a real laid back guy, probably figured if the dumb white boy gets his arm gnawed off by a pissed lizard it’s their own damn fault.

I was still so incredibly chill. I was lathered in a tube of sun block and despite the fact it was one hundred degrees that day I was still so happy to be there. Life just made sense here. I was with my kin – hundreds of baby aquatic lizards. I could be their queen!

When I returned I loitered on the bridge overlooking a canal that was full of life. I were very happy to see an absolutely enormous alligator snapping turtle emerge from the deep, break the surface of the water, and retreat back into the darkness. I wasn;t expecting that! I got a photo too.

On the way out I desperately needed the bathroom so I stopped at the nearest convenience store. It was empty and quiet and had no bathroom. I tried buying some ice cream just to avoid being awkward but it turns out the freezers had croaked and the candy ice cream bars were soup.

Onward I went until I found a gas station, which I know is not a great pit stop. I was wearing my long hippie skirt which very quickly got completely sopping wet with the flood of water on the bathroom floor I didn’t notice. I came out not so happy. I was two buildings away from the Jeep and Ruud was again distracted, loitering on the swamp banks taking photos of an alligator who was panting for some reason, or at least it had its mouth open. To make matters worse I had just discovered Aunt Rosie had come to me three days before her usual arrival. I was abruptly snapped out of my relaxed haze and was instantaneously cranky. I changed my skirt in the car, in an unladylike manner as we were driving. Better.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Isabel the “Sea Serpent” – Virginia

It was still only two o’clock or so when I made the decision to continue driving. There was a rumor that a driftwood sea serpent was lurking around here so I had to find it. I found the serpent, took the usual tourist photos standing in front of it and then enjoyed the beach a bit. The ocean was angry and the waves were crashing down the shore hard. There was even one hapless guy, who against all regulations on the many signs, swam out into the waves and started surfing. He made two waves before I lost interest and left. I found a few shells here and there but nothing overly interesting. The only thing here I did not find on Cape Cod or Maine were dozens and dozens of mermaid purses. These are the hard spiked eggs of skates, small rays that live off the coast. It also pains me a bit to see those because they obviously were spat into the world with much pain and distress…. Seems a waste to have so many wash up to shore!

There was a huge fiddler crab here which needed only a little coaxing to scamper down the beach. I nudged its legs with my foot and it went scuttling over the sand like no one’s business. Fast little sucker! And when he stopped he puffed up like a rooster and made threatening gestures with his claws. I took lots of photos and one video, eventually protecting him from three loose dogs before moving onward.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

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Angel Oak – South Carolina

Angel Oak is apparently a giant tree, the oldest in the state or some such. I went there expecting another kitschy little tourist attractions but I was quite happily surprised. It was hidden on a dirt road, guarded on each side by arching trees. I swear it could have been a scene out of a fairy tale had I been driving a horse and buggy. The tree itself was enormous indeed, fat and stout, with branches hitting the ground from its own weight. Some were propped up, other branches were held in place by cable. Still, despite the fact it couldn’t deal with its own enormity, the tree itself was beautiful and nestled in a really sweet patch of woods to boot. It surprisingly had a lot of people wandering in and out and a small gift shop as well. I took a few photos, perused the gift store, and asked an elderly couple to take my photo in front of the tree. I am afraid my pallid skin and Yankee accent was a dead give always that I was not from the area. The locals are chatty and friendly.

If you are enjoying Catching Marbles please consider adding a dollar or two to my limited gas money fund so I can continue going on adventures and sharing them with you! Thank you!


 

 

 

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