Cryptozoology Convention 2024 Portland Maine

I really hadn’t intended to go to any more conventions but when I brought this one up to my usual travel companion he thought it’d be a fun vacation so off we went to the boonies of Maine to see what was up in the big weird world of cryptozoology.

We got the two-day VIP tickets – because if you’re going to make a vacation of it you might as well! We showed up a little early and had to kill some time wandering for a bit while the hosts tried to figure out how to admit people. Some of the vendors were already set up so we tried walking around and looking at their goods first. There was a lovely wire artist at the door with all sorts of really cool pieces. I asked her how long it took to make them and she said about two days on the smaller ones. I wanted to give her encouragement but I knew whatever she was asking for these was too rich for my blood and instead of being insulting I never asked what they were going for. She was the only vendor that I think made no sales because of this and I felt that. I’ve been that table that’s misfitted for the venue and has goods too fine for whatever is going on. It sucks.

Next to her we found a crochet artist with all sorts of cryptid plushies and dear god were they adorable. Ended up with a tiny mothman keychain from this vendor. I figured those would go like hotcakes. Another artist had the center of the room and was doing caricatures – presumably of patrons with their favorite cryptid. The examples he had on display were rather cute, he even included one with a lot of muppets which had Nigel from Farscape hidden on there as well. I had to laugh. The rest of the room contained A LOT of the more usual items – stickers, car decals, DVDs of bigfoot documentaries, and sooo many books. My thing is to be supportive of local authors so I held myself together to say I’d be back tomorrow for some books and whew, did I ever. Came back with a haul! On all sorts of cool topics, some on hauntings and new places to go others on cryptids and weird happenings.

However the most fun was probably the reptile rescue who was letting people pet their animal ambassadors. They had a few decently big snakes, still growing for sure, a grumpy tortoise (who I could really empathize with) a skink, and a tegu. We took turns holding them all. The snakes were CRUISING, the skink was so relaxed he was limp as a ragdoll which kinda freaked me out a little bit, and the tegu, oh my god the tegu… I wanted to steal. She just burrowed into my sweater giving me a huge bear hug and FELL ASLEEP on me. God damn I love giant cuddly lizards. I’ve wanted one since I was a teenager but you know… their enclosure requirements must be enormous! This one was already maybe 1/3rd to half the size she’d be some day and that was plenty big enough! Plus the laws keep changing from state to state. Honestly, I was a bit surprised to see tegus here because of that.

After passing my lizard back to the next person we went on our way. There’d be a pizza dinner with a celebrity in the field at every table. We ended up with a comic book writer. I wish I remembered his name but I guess he did a bunch of Scooby Doos and some other neat things. He seemed very pleasant as did the couple who sat across from us who had come up here all the way from Pennsylvania! They had matching septum piercings which I thought was unique and also bought one of the mothman plushies. So we bonded on that as we ate our pizza. They had ordered 57 boxes and 32 liters of soda. I was accused of counting them but no, I was just eavesdropping when I came across this factoid.

The big event however was a viewing of Big Fur which was a documentary about the creation of the hyper realistic bigfoot sitting in the corner. This is what set the gears off in my head. I had NO IDEA there was a whole subset of taxidermists who are now doing mock mounts of extinct or otherwise undocumented animals like this bigfoot but with real fur from other animals. This particular bigfoot was made with the hair from highland cattle and the artist who created him also did a mock panda bear that looked SO REAL. Like I would think it absolutely was a panda if I didn’t know better. The reason this was inspiring to me is because I have been telling myself for years that I have enough hobbies and I do not need to get into taxidermy and be one of those weirdos lugging off dead raccoons found on the highway…. but the idea of making completely different animals out of those pelts?! You could make a goddamn unicorn! Or a snallygaster…

The rest of the audience seemed more emotionally invested in the surprise romantic aspect of the film which involved a rather messy love… square… Triangle was not the right option. Honestly, I felt that was it’s own thing and felt weird to be included but you know.. you do you. The director talked about it a little bit and we had fun with it.

The next day there was more vendors and a ton of lectures that ranged from the silly to the serious. I had no idea that loggers were… off their nuts. The amount of bizarre cryptids in logger lore is insane. Now I had loggers in my family back in the day and I feel like a lot of these are drunken big fish kinda stories but still – what the hell were these men on?! And the names of these things! I wish I could remmeber them – they would have put Dr Suess to shame.

Another lecture told us all about cougar sightings in Somerset county and how someone in Connecticut had run one over that had wandered here from thousands of miles away. I have heard stories of big cats my entire life and just thought it was a fact cougars lived here. Apparently not. The state of Maine does not recognize a current breeding population and they are therefore cryptids. The department of wildlife states cougars were functionally extinct from hunting in Maine in the late 1800’s with the last being shot in the 1930’s.

By the time the HP Lovecraft guy came up, who I’d seen before, the heat in the room and my lack of sleep previous was conspiring to land me in a coma. I may have nodded off for most of that one despite trying not to — to the point of going cross eyed.

Luckily there was an intermission where we could go out and eat at a taco truck parked outside. I tried their veggie tacos and they were the bomb. And the people were so sweet. I got a lot of compliments on my hair, pants, and purse, and was tracked down twice to see if I was the owner of the sunglasses left were I was sitting on the grass – but the sunglasses were there before me.

As we went back in we were treated to another lecture from the guy hosting the event who was telling us the cryptozoology museum was moving from its current spot to a new much larger home in Bangor and that this was also the last convention to be held in Portland for the same reason.

One of the last speakers was my favorite, it was the woman who runs a blog called Cryptozoology Facts. She seemed delightfully neaurospicy and informed everyone she was nervous but she did a good job telling us about all the bonkers cryptids she had come across and the fact her favorites were all seen only once and included a winged clam. I had to agree with her the sheer weirdness of that one would make it a favorite for me too. We’d talk to her a little bit afterwards as she offered a gift to anyone who liked and reposted her FaceBook post on the event. It was a bigfoot magnet which will now be going on my fridge…

Anyway, we had an awesome time – learned a ton about local folklore and mythology, got to speculate on what’s actually out there, and met some pretty nifty people. All and all it was a great time to be had by all and I came home with sooo many books it’s a bit ridiculous but at least they’re all signed!

Antiques at Edgerly Farm – Hampton Falls New Hampshire

Our second antique store of the day was Antiques at Edgerly Farm and it was on the swanker side, although certainly not as steep as the antique stores we have seen in parts of Connecticut! There were a number of cherubs about that I am sure someone would have loved. I however find the idea of a winged toddler a bit terrifying. Just WHY? Of all the things you could give wings to… A TODDLER?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Not to be outdone there was a very expensive looking ceramic clown in the window which was just as jarring on the nerves. I was impressed by their wall of old tools. Something about it made me happy. It was a good display! I also really adored the ornamental wood stove.

As usual the attic had the more affordable and at times bizarre options the most unique of which was a birdhouse made from a stiffened denim glove. I also found a book called The AIDS Hoax from when AIDS was deadly proving that idiots have always existed in every generation. There’s a certain comfort in that.

Anyway, this shop may not have been as impressive as the last but it wasn’t underwhelming by any means. Definitely worth a checking out if you’re in the area or antiquing anyway.

Route 1 Antiques – Hampton Falls New Hampshire

We had decided to go to Maine to attend the Cryptozoology Convention and in the process we decided to take the opportunity to hit a few antique stores during the long drive north. Route 1 Antiques in Hampton Falls NH (not to be confused with Route 1A Relics in Ellesworth Maine) was the first of three we would check out on this day.

This was a shop that was clearly situated in a repurposed old farmhouse and upon walking in I felt it was a place that was a little rich for my blood. All I saw was well maintained display cases. But there was a shop dog working as a door buzzer and being that she was rather cute I settled in. This first part of the store was indeed a little much for me. They even had a super realistic sculpture of a hawk that I thought was taxidermy! The keep was excited to talk to us about it saying it was a rare piece and told us about the artist. I love art and supporting independent artists buuuut I don’t think I’ll ever have the money to pay for proper rich people art! Luckily this place also had a basement and an attic which were easier on the old wallet.

The basement was neat in that it still had this crazy old fireplace in it but otherwise there wasn’t too much interesting down there for us. The attic however was filled with toys for all ages starting with the mandatory Howdie Doody memorabilia which is much beloved by the Silent Generation and scares the ever lovin’ bejesus out of the rest of us. They also had this primo haunted marionette doll that was out for my own heart, a “Ken doll with prosthetics” which I am pretty sure was the Million Dollar Man, some Rock em’ Sock em’ Robots, and even a few things from my generation including a Star Wars ship and an original Optimus Prime with real metal parts! So I’m told by my companion. His excitement was adorable. Sorry to say I wasn’t allowed to watch many cartoons, TV, or movies, growing up, transformers among them. My mother thought I should be spending my time playing in the dirt. This has resulted a reverence for nature and a profound lack of cultural reference points.

This place was cute. I definitely would say it’s worth checking out if you like antiques of all price ranges. Or toys. So many toys.

Cranberry Bog Trail behind the Bass Pro Shop – Boston MA

Right behind the Bass Pro Shop there was another tiny parking lot attached to a cute little half mile trail. We decided to go see what it was and I must say – for being in Boston, a Metropolitain city, I was impressed! Yes, it was short, but it did amble over a little pond guarded by a 40-pound murder duck, er, swan, and then wound us around a sweet little cranberry bog. They’d only planted it a few weeks ago so these were early days. I’d never been to a cranberry bog in spring so this was fun for me.

I took photos with my camera but summarily lost them so these are all cell phone photos. It’s been that kind of a week for me. But anyway… the trail was short, sweet, and had a bunch of informative plaques around it talking about cranberries, their history and harvest. I actually learned quite a bit reading them!

So yeah, if you happen to have kids as your spouse is wandering the shop looking for something shooty or stabby this is definitely a good way to keep everyone entertained! More shops should have random educational trails behind them.

Sunset over the Berkshires – Wigwam Western Summit – North Adams MA

When we drove into the Berkshires, before we even got to any of our destinations, we ended up driving by the most gorgeous mountain summit and I promised on our way back home I’d stop so we could take a gander, and just by chance we timed it just right. We arrived about 20 minutes before sunset and I asked my companions if they’d be willing to wait to see the sun descend from the sky and continue behind the mountain. Everyone agreed.

So we settled in to wait. As we did so we explored the area – several little look outs, some cabins which weren’t opened yet, a sugar house… and we weren’t the only ones waiting for the sunset as three other cars showed up just for that. Good thing my phone’s weather app told me exactly how long we’d be waiting. We played with the light as it shone through a bunch of fuzzy pussy willows and when the moment came the sun started to hide behind the mountain it was so goddamn pretty. The light just changed over everything and the scenery was so much to behold. We were all really happy to have stayed.

I wish my camera was as impressed as I was but apparently the settings were off and my photos were… unimpressive. I did take a small video but this was even less impressive so I have asked for a few snaps from my companions… because their phones did a better job. In any event even though this was completely unplanned it was SO WORTH THE TRIP!!

After all was said and done we continued down the mountain towards home… and got distracted twice before reaching the bottom, stopping off to check out this memorial to indigenous Americans and the founding of the Elks lodge. My inner twelve-year-old had to point out the elk was anatomically correct. But in all seriousness these two last stops were a lot of fun and the perfect way to end a very full day!

Random Sights of Bennington Vermont

Since we were already in Adams MA my phone told me that was only 12 and a half miles away from Bennington Vermont which I surmise is the cutest goddamn town in New England and I kinda wanted to share my joy in it – maybe hit one of their galleries. There was also a fish store here. Or so that’s what Google claimed. So off we went!

The fish store address just brought me to a random house in a very residential neighborhood. Now, I know fish stores are frequently run out of people’s basements but this place didn’t even have the traditional half-assed plywood sign. Nothing. I was content to leave this one alone, not wanting to become the next missing person disappeared from the Bennington Triangle. But my companion wanted to know more and called the number. An answering machine answered and he promptly hung up.

We went back to town to go play with some of the wildlife statues. Every year they’re different, done up by local artists, and auctioned off at the end of the season. On previous trips I’d seen moose and bears but this year was catamounts – what the locals call cougars. Officially speaking cougars have been extinct in New England since we hunted them all over 100 years ago but that’s not to say their memory doesn’t still linger or that chance individuals don’t still show up in Maine after wandering down from Canada. It’s always been an interesting prospect to me. And the statues? ADORABLE.

Lucky for me my companions also loved the catamounts as we found two walking. We tried to find more but online sources are evasive about the Catamount Prowl and it was getting late. We needed food in our bellies, the Prius needed a long-deserved drink from hauling ass up the mountains, and a bathroom was also in order. So, we tried the local pizza parlor which was sufficient. And a sketchy-ass gas station which was a bit odd considering the general adorableness of the rest of the area.

Main Street Antiques – Bennington Vermont

Onto another antique shop! This place was typical of a main street antique place in that it was small and orderly. We walked in and were greeted with a $300+ cast iron dutch oven and a very ornate wood stove. There was also THE SADDEST AND CREEPIEST CLOWN and a doll with glowing red eyes for no apparent reason?!

But really we were most enamored by the coins. So. Many. Coins. My travel companions were ahead of me and poking at some confederate coins when the shop keep lit up and gave us all an impromptu history lesson.

“You want to see something you’ve never seen before?”

“YEAH!”

He pulled out a note from his pocket that stated it was worth a 20-dollar gold coin. And he showed us the coin that someone could have traded it for. And then said how worthless it was at the time due to wartime inflation. Very cool.

We chatted a little bit. I think he was hoping we were monied folks but we are not. Though we did stop to look at the Nazi occupied country coins, which were interesting in their own way. It never really occurred to me the currency changes in occupied countries. I guess because I never had to think about it.

In the back we found a bottle labelled Boyes Oil and I cracked a joke. And continue to do so. Did you try the Boyes Oil? I found a bunny cake pan that looked like it did. DAMN was that the most ripped bunny I’ve ever seen. Why did it have the muscles of a bull?! What a terrifying Easter someone must have had.

Anyway it was a cute little shop, with a lovely staff and lots and lots of coins if that is your thing. Or bottles. Some of those bottles were super unique. One even had a Halloween cat stretched across it shaped into the glass.

The Berkshire Emporium – Antiques & Snack Bar – North Adams

I rarely need reason to go back to the Berkshires, a gorgeous portion of New England that I have scarcely gotten a chance to poke at (mostly because it’s so damn hard to get to.) No worries the four-hour drive was still worth it, well worth it!

We started at the Berkshire Emporium, our plotted out starting point. From the descriptions online it looked big which is always a plus when you are making a day of it. And I have to say getting there was just as much of an adventure. The scenery was out of this world as we drove a grumpy Prius through the mountains!

When we eventually got to the cute little town of North Adams we found the Berkshire Emporium without any troubles in part due to their greeter – who happened to be a velociraptor standing in front of a basket of props you could put in its mouth, or in its talons, or the top of its head if you wished. Just inside the door there was a little mini bakery cafe which was decorated with lots more dinosaurs, some were featured in portraits done by a local artist! There were also cookies. Big ones. I nearly fell to temptation but beyond that delicious distraction was the antique store…

Of course the emporium was another winding maze of absolutely random things. One of the first things we came across was Bigfoot in all his glory. Or rather a costume of Bigfoot chilling in a big room with The Bumble…. which I’ve been calling the Abominable Snowman for like… 38 years… my bad. The next room to them had all kinds of cool instruments and an old off-key music box which played Farmer in the Dell in the same way a horror movie might. In fact this place seemed wonderful inspiration for such a venture as I also found the creepiest box of antiquated plushies, some Halloween memorabilia, a flying monkey, and a number of disquieting art pieces made from melted sneakers poured over manikins and clothes. Quirky.

We had a lot of fun at this place but it wasn’t quite as big as we’d anticipated and we didn’t spend too terribly long, though we did take a moment to give the velociraptor a fish. It only seemed right. From here we’d do some ambling to see what other trouble we could get ourselves into.

The Red Lion Inn (restaurant) – Stockbridge Massachusetts

To be honest we would have eaten at Alice’s restaurant if it was open that day (because I’m that big of a nerd) but just down the street there was a brooding inn with gift shop and food and it was just about to open to hungry diners. We were told we could wander the lobby for half an hour while we waited.

This place was… something else. We were immediately greeted by the newest staff – one of two hotel cats, who seemed bewildered at the amount of attention it was getting. It’ll settle in, I am sure. Beyond that there was this crazy metal cage elevator that I couldn’t help but think was haunted. The “lobby” was a set of rooms in a Byzantine maze set up with a series of quirky antique chairs. Beyond that there was a gift shop that was small but entertained us for way too long. It had 1950’s styled colored small appliances, expensive candles, some soft plushies, a nice selection of cookbooks, and apparently the rape whistle to end all rape whistles which came in a moderately decorated box saying, “Your mama will want you to have it!” Apparently, it was less of a whistle and more of a pocket-sized flashing siren. Weird choice of a gift shop item… everything else seemed normal!

Just outside the gift shop there was a chessboard set up next to the most anguished looking rocking horse (unicorn?) I have ever seen in my life. Though I took several photos during this visit it was only the rocking horse who came out. Haunted? Maybe. A patron asked if I was allowed to take photos of the rocking horse, staff assured him I could. Not like anyone was on it??

Anyway, when the clock finally timed out and they started letting dinner patrons in we meandered to the dining rooms. One was a proper dinner restaurant with duck on the menu. The other was a little mini pub with bar food. None of us had planned for this so we went with the cheaper option. I had the fish and chips which was… odd! I expected it to be beer battered like fish and chips normally are but no, it came out in breadcrumbs like a piece of chicken?? It wasn’t bad, it was just different. And I was unable to peel the batter off as I would have been able to do with a beer battered fish (because I’m weird and don’t really like the batter, just the fish.) The chips were also good. My companions were also happy with their options, a smash burger, some “spicy” carrot soup, and something I can’t remember. The only complaint we really had was the fact we were some of the first patrons of the day in a not-very busy setting and it still took us almost an hour to get served. But you know… the ambiance was worth it in this preposterously old building with original wood floors (square nails still visible keeping them down!) Decorations were odd and there was even a stain glass window. Again, all my pix came out blurred to the point of not being able to recognize anything in them despite having worked the rest of the day. Maybe the ghosts like their privacy.

Anyway… I do think this place was well worth a good poke. I do wonder what the rooms in the inn look like!

Williams & Sons Country Store – Stockbridge Massachusetts

After the cemetery we decided to check out the center of town to see what was there. To my absolute joy we ended up parking directly in front of what used to be Alice’s Restaurant back in the day, you know, the Alice’s Restaurant the song was named after? DELIGHTED, I tell you! But it wasn’t open so we continued ambling down the street and the first thing we saw after Alice’s was this country store.

This place is part old timey general store and part weird hippie niche shop and I loved every second of it! There were TONS of old candies to chose from as we entered. They even had candy cigarettes which I haven’t seen in a dog’s age and Sugar Daddies! The only candy I really remember growing up as my mother never bought us candy except when I had a tooth that was way too loose that I refused to pop out. Then she’d diabolically feed me a sugar daddy in the hopes I’d get the ill begotten tooth stuck in that sticky sugary mess and rip it clean out of my head. Twas more pleasant than my brother’s suggestion of tying the tooth to a door handle and slamming it. Brothers!

Anyway, beyond the usual general store items there was a lot of novelty things – rag dolls of various famous personalities – Michelle Obama, Frida Kahlo, Andy Warhol, Rosie the Riveter, Ghandi. And then there were novelty games and trinkets and bizarrely a whole wall of what looked like Catholic candles but instead of saints they had even more random actual people on them. Ruth Bader Ginsberg merch was strong here but there was also an Edgar Allen Poe saint candle? Sure, sure, for the Goths and raven lovers, I get it. And then of course there were a bunch of Normal Rockwell books which is what the town is famous for…

This place was such a happy jaunt. It is the perfect summer vacation shop with just the right amount of weird mixed in. And the shop keep was lovely and talkative! Definitely check this place out if you are looking for some nostalgic candies, random general store goods, or a chuckle.

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